A Collection of Short Stories
by McSlendy
Summary: Hello. This is just a collection of stories that I wanted to get out of my head so I can continue on my other fics. Their contents may vary in rating, and may not make any sense, so take care when reading them. Enjoy what my deranged mind has to offer to your eyes.
1. Murder In The Alleyway

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

A teenager's warm corpse fell to the ground in an unglorified heap, with Kyon, who had pulled out his murder weapon from the body, merely shrugging as he pocketed his knife and slowly left the dark and lonely alleyway. He actually hoped that his victim would put up a struggle, but alas, he was proven wrong as the teenager didn't consider him as a threat at all - even though he was wearing menacing clothing - with the male only smiling and giving him a friendly greeting as he walked past him earlier. A friendly and sincere greeting that was to be his last.

His murderer was whistling a catchy tune as he walked away from the scene of the crime, uncaring if the body he left behind would already be discovered by the time he was back home. The surge of adrenaline that rapidly coursed throughout his body as he did his evil deed was slowly ebbing away, eventually leaving him a tad bit tired from his satisfying kill, with his left hand feeling sore from the repeated stabbing and slashing he had inflicted on his unexpecting and deserving victim, Koizumi Itsuki.

Kyon had a grin on his face by the time he was halfway back, hearing a girl scream in horror in the distance.


	2. A Possible Outcome Of An Encounter

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

Ryoko Asakura giggled madly to herself as she beheaded an immobile, yet aware Kyon.

For all her intentions, she had never thought she was going to go overboard with her murder of him to provoke a change in her primary observation target, Haurhi Suzumiya, but she had to admit, it was quite refreshing and fun to do so. The blood on her knife splashed across the floor, the tables, and the chairs of the empty classroom in which she had led her victim to his death as she childishly twirled it in her hand, carelessly getting some of it over her pretty body too. Not that she didn't mind - she could just as well easily remove the stains using data manipulation.

As his head soared through the air at a violent speed, but not fast enough to escape her reach, Asakura giggled again as she dropped her murder weapon and used her two hands to catch him gently. The horrified look on Kyon's bloodied face spoke volumes, and for her it was enough to make her understand that he did not see this coming at all. He was expecting to be stabbed to death by her, not get beheaded with a knife no less. Unable to talk, and knowing that he was going to die anyways, the blue haired girl wondered what he was thinking about right now.

Oh well. At least he was able to keep her company for another five to ten minutes until his brain finally shut down.

"Mission complete!" She said out aloud proudly to no-one but herself.


	3. Of Sleeping Pills And Fireaxes

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

Trapped in the SOS Brigade's clubroom at North High and surrounded by rabid fangirls with no other options for a desperate escape but suicide, Koizumi Itsuki looked at the bottle of sleeping pills he had on his hand and sadly, sighed. He did not really believe that this was happening. How could this have happened in the first place, anyway?

Oh wait, he knew. It happened because of a crack in his reality which leaked out to another reality formed an impossible bridge of travel that let people from his world to go to the other world and vice versa due to Haruhi Suzumiya's bizarre ability to warp reality itself to her whims. The Esper was starting to feel his smiling facade break.

Outside his weakening safe haven, countless pretty fangirls foamed at the mouth as they repeatedly swung their fireaxes (Where the hell did they get that many, by the way?) at the somehow heavily fortified clubroom, all screaming obscure profanities and each claiming that he would be with the said claimant forever - a thought that chilled him to his very core - as they slowly closed the distance, the distance being the battered wooden door.

Koizumi was glad he was alone to spend his final moments, because at least no-one would see him commit suicide whilst crying like a man. Taking off the lid of the bottle and peering inside it, he felt himself renewed by the thought of leaving this mortal plane with his virginity intact (He was saving it for Kyon). Then in one swoop he took all the pills into his mouth and drank it down with some alcohol he had retrieved sometime ago, because why the fuck not?

"Good-bye, cruel world!" He said melodramatically, his body shaking in anticipation of his death as if it was paper.

Then suddenly, his stomach stopped working and the door burst open, revealing his murderous fangirls.

Five seconds later, Koizumi's face paled.

And then, he finally died. Not of the pills he took, but of the numerous fireaxes that tore him apart.


	4. Kindred Spirits?

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

Faintly smelling of booze, and uncaring if he was going to be drunk, Kyon took hold of his alcohol and somehow emptied the entire bottle's contents in one go. How he managed to get a bottle of alcohol in the first place though was a mystery (Actually, he was in an illegal bar that allowed underage people to drink the stuff) but that would be something that he'd let Haruhi figure out for herself when he would be finally found by her. For now, he was happy to drink away his sorrows and regrets in the meanwhile, because he can, and nobody was saying otherwise.

Beside him was a similarly half-inebriated teenager, who had black hair and nearly had a matching complexion as Kyon had. For the same reasons, he had turned to heavy drinking as the stress of dealing with his life had finally gotten to him, except for the fact that he didn't deal with a reality warper, but that he dealt with a otaku younger sister who had a friend that would send him into a world of hurt if he did anything funny to her - which he really wouldn't - that wanted to get into his pants one day. Which was both worrying and disgusting without saying.

Kyousuke Kousaka grunted uncomfortably at the reminder, then he shifted about in his seat trying to knock the thought off, accidentally hitting Kyon's elbow in the process. The other boy glared at him at his interruption, and Kyousuke glared back defiantly, before suddenly both relaxed marginally and regarded each other sympathetically.

"Rough day?" Kyousuke asked Kyon.

"You have no idea." Replied the normal guy, with hints of exasperation in his voice.

"Tell me about it, then." Kyousuke said glumly as he downed another bottle. "I bet you had it lighter than I did."

Kyon wasn't sure whether to take this guy seriously or not. Then again, he didn't know of his problems.

Time to amend that.

"No, I bet you had it _lighter_ than _I_ did." Kyon emphasized annoyedly. "Have you ever dealt with a _Goddess _before?"

The black-haired teen blinked, wondering if the alcohol in his body finally got into his brains. "Eh... No?"

Really? A Goddess? Was this guy high?

"Then that settles it; My day's worse than yours." Kyon said as he finished his bottle. "Here's a drink on me, buddy."

Kyousuke began to doubt if going to the bar today of all days was a good idea. "Uh... Okay? Thanks, I think."

"You're welcome." The North High student sighed, before shaking his head and ordering another bottle of beer.

Both continued to empty their drinks in companionable silence, glad that at least they felt a bit better than before.


	5. Wait, What?

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

Fujiwara had no damn clue on what the hell was going on, and for all Kuyou Suoh's skilled capabilities, she too had no idea whatsoever about the scene that was unfolding before them. Sasaki was tying up an unconscious Kyon in her bedroom, seemingly oblivious to the presence of her shocked friends, merrily humming to herself as she went about doing her task. It was justifiably unnerving for the Time Traveller to see - if he had believed in ghosts, he would've sworn that one of them had possessed her - and the blond could not help but be mildly uncomfortable.

Kyouko was nowhere to be seen today, but Fujiwara guessed that she was probably alone somewhere trying to deal with the rush of emotions that Sasaki was feeling. Actually, he wasn't sure if Sasaki was feeling anything if the lifeless look in her eyes were anything to go by, and so he turned to Kuyou for an normality-reinforcing explanation.

However, the Alien was as enthralled to the guy as Sasaki was with Kyon; she was assisting her with the bonds!

And that, apparently, was the last straw for Fujiwara. Before he knew it, he had facepalmed and closed the door.

"I need a freaking drink." He muttered to himself, ignoring the sounds of tearing clothes coming from the room.


	6. Entering And Escaping

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

A shirtless, muscular and still sleepy Kyon wasn't sure what possessed the normally hyperactive Tsuyura to barge into his room in the middle of the night, but he sure as hell knew why she was wearing black bondage gear and holding a lethal looking leather whip. That said, he immediately bolted to life and exited his room through his opened window.

"GET BACK HERE, NYORO~!"

"HELL NO!"

After three days mustering his courage later, Kyon filed a restraining order against the green-haired girl.


	7. The Suited Thing

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

Have a sleepover, Haruhi said. It'd be fun, she said.

Mikuru repeated the above words like a mantra as she remained in a curled up position on her bedroom floor, trembling rapidly like the 'moe' character she was. Beside her was an equally scared Tsuyura, who was also curled up on the floor and clutching the Time Traveller tightly like she was her living security blanket. Not too far away, Haruhi was there with them as well, in a rare moment of being afraid and also hugging the other two girls close.

What caused their fear was very hard to describe, but all that they could say about it is that it came from the dark.

And it was wearing a black suit. A sharp one at it, too. Then the creature made some static noises and disappeared.

The three girls were left traumatized. Later in life they developed a strong hatred for male suit-wearing mannequins.


	8. Wall, Meet Great Knife

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

It was a hot afternoon and Kyon was lazing about on the sofa at his house.

Shirtless due to the heat and tired from earlier today's activities with the SOS Brigade, the teenager found it hard not to gradually fall asleep because of the peaceful silence that enveloped his home, which effect was amplified without the presences of both his little sister and his parents, who were out shopping. Basically he had the house to himself, and he was planning to spend this rare moment alone to good use by having a well-deserved nap.

He however, did not notice that his radio was slowly coming to life.

And that was the moment that Pyramid Head chose to appear.

The wall farthest from where Kyon was lying at was instantly impaled to pieces, revealing the dreaded helmeted rapist being. Over one shoulder slung an asleep Bubble Head Nurse, whose top was undone, showing her arousing yet oddly clean and human features, and held on the other hand which wasn't wielding his Great Knife was a still-struggling Mannequin. Pyramid Head shrugged as dust and debris fell on him, then carefully said:

"OOPS. SORRY ABOUT THE MESS, KYON, BUT YOU KNOW I CAN'T FIT THROUGH YOUR FRONT DOOR."

But the teenager didn't seem to care; He wasn't annoyed. Instead, he raised a hand and pointed to the kitchen.

"It's alright. The ice-cold packs of cola are in the refrigerator. Try not to make a mess while you're in there, okay?"

Relieved, Pyramid Head gave a thumbs up to his considerate friend and carefully set down the snoring Nurse on a chair while he tied up the Mannequin and lobbed it to the floor. Leaving his shiny, new, and caked-in-blood-and-gore weapon right beside it, he crouched and entered the kitchen, taking care not to let the tip of his helmet damage anything. A few minutes later, he came back, carrying not two packs of ice-cold cola, but four of them.

"THANKS BRO. I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT THE SUN'S SHINING AGAIN IN SILENT HILL. IT'S HOT LIKE HELL BACK THERE."

With that, the judge, jury and executioner of the sunny town sat down on a chair across the sleeping Bubble Head Nurse, throwing a can at the teenager on the sofa as he settled himself in. Kyon casually caught the projectile and then opened it, drinking it's cool contents. Thinking a bit over his response, he shrugged then smiled knowingly.

"I take that it's a good thing." Kyon said, licking his dry lips. "Say, how's everyone back at Silent Hill doing?"

"OH, YOU KNOW, THE USUAL. EVER SINCE YOU GAVE US THE ADVICE TO KEEP ALESSA HAPPY INSTEAD OF BEING MEAN TO HER ALL THE TIME AND WHATNOT, AND TOLD US TO STOP BEING MENACING TO PEOPLE WHO GET TRAPPED IN SILENT HILL AND INSTEAD HELP THEM TO ACCEPT THEIR FAULTS AND GUILTS, THINGS HAVE BEEN TURNING OUT PRETTY WELL." Pyramid Head paused for a moment, putting a finger on his unseen chin. "OH YEAH, HEATHER MASON SENDS HER REGARDS, AS WELL AS JAMES'. THEY SAY THEY WANT YOU TO HANG OUT WITH THEM SOME MORE."

The high-schooler chuckled, grinning. "Ah, that's good to hear. And how's your businesses coming along?"

"MY NEW JOBS? I LOVE THEM! EVER SINCE I GOT INTO THE PIMPING BUSINESS, AS WELL AS THE BUTCHERING BUSINESS, ALSO INCLUDING MY LAWYERING BUSINESS, SILENT HILL HAS NEVER BEEN SO PROSPEROUS BEFORE, BUT EVERYONE ELSE ARE DOING THEIR BITS TOO! THE MONSTERS BARELY LOOK LIKE MONSTERS NOW, THE PEOPLE ARE SANER, AND NEARLY EVERYTHING'S ALL FIXED UP! AND YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S ALL THANKS TO YOU, MAN!"

Pyramid Head laughed heartily and happily. But suddenly, he tensed then looked at his wrist, where a watch which wasn't there before instantly appeared and showed him the time. A loud, grilling, and grating gasp escaped the being's helmet, then he immediately stood up frantically. Kyon, alarmed, also rose from his position on the sofa, and the other two beings in the living room with them also snapped to attention - but they knew what was up.

"OH CRAP. THE PORTAL THAT'S CONNECTING MY WORLD TO YOUR WORLD IS CLOSING UP! I WISH WE COULD HAVE GOTTEN TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOU, KYON, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT'LL HAPPEN IF WE DON'T GO BACK HOME IN TIME!" The knife-slash-broadsword user apologized as the Nurse untied the Mannequin and helped it get back on it's feet. "BUT AT LEAST WE GOT TO VISIT YOU, EVEN THOUGH IT WAS BRIEF. THANKS FOR THE DRINKS, BY THE WAY!"

And then, the trio went back the way they came, causing the mess they had made strangely go into a 'rewind effect' where everything returned back to their pre-impalement state. Watching them disappear to where they came from, Kyon sighed and shook his head, but couldn't help but smile as he took another chug of his cola.

But then, he chuckled contentedly, and shortly fell asleep.


	9. Praise The Machine God

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

Yuki Nagato was bored one day, so she decided to call Kyon over to her apartment, hoping to have a good time.

And her expectations were met.

The male teen had brought along a Tabletop RPG game called 'Warhammer 40k' with him to pass the time with her. Interested, and secretly glad that Kyon was thoughtful enough to introduce her to a new sci-fi slash grim-dark game, Yuki began to play with him in earnest, something that the ever-oblivious guy noticed and enjoyed. Minutes became hours, and it wasn't long before Kyon realized it was already late. Sheepishly saying good-bye and telling her to keep his game set as a token of appreciation for what she had done for him in the years before, he then left.

Meanwhile, Nagato approached the room in which Kyon and Mikuru Asashina had slept in the past and opened it.

What she saw wasn't an empty room; rather, it was a room in which the many things that Kyon had given her were kept neatly and preciously. But in the middle of the place stood a picture of a symbol of the deity of the faction she had chosen to play as during the game, The Adeptus Mechanicus; a simple, yet gothic Cog Mechanicus. Focusing on it reverently (Though it was hard to tell if she was) she bowed respectfully to it and said:

"Praise the Machine God."

Somewhere in another universe, the sleeping Machine God sneezed, causing devastating earthquakes on Mars.


	10. A Killer Pair

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

Taniguchi and Kunikida peered into the dark corridor, their futuristic weapons' flashlights piercing the dark. Both were wearing suits made of various different materials, and on the spines of their backs were bright blue bars of lights that indicated their current welfare in real time. Taniguchi's was half empty while his friend's one was full.

"Hey, you think there's Necromorphs around?" Asked Kunikida as he took point, his gun pointed at a corner.

"Don't think so. I mean, didn't we clear this place before?" Taniguchi responded uncertainly as he fell in step.

Suddenly there was a loud, grumbling sound behind them, and both boys whipped around to face its origin.

It was a Puker with Kyon's face. It was grinning at them, and beside it stood a Female Slasher with Nagato's face.

"OH, SHIT!" They both screamed, before they were puked on and slashed to death, unable to react in time.

At their respective PCs at a gaming cafe, the two boys facepalmed and groaned while Kyon and Nagato high-fived.

Man, those two were a killer pair at Dead Space 2's multiplayer mode.


	11. Sniping And Sadness

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

"Please wake up, Onii-chan! Please wake up!"

A little girl was sitting beside her older brother's corpse, crying and begging him to wake up. Around her were her brother's closest friends, too shocked about his sudden, bloody death to even react, too shocked to even grasp what had happened so far. Their faces mirrored it; their gaping mouths and widened eyes only made it clearer.

At a top of a building from quite the distance, Fujiwara sighed as he put away his sniper rifle, closing his eyes.

"I'm sorry that I had to kill you, Kyon. But I had no other choice than this." He whispered. "I'm so sorry."

Turning around, he sighed again as he activated his TPDD and went back to his drastically changed time-plane.

Meanwhile, the world he had left behind crumbled in on itself - Haruhi began to once again re-write reality.


	12. Look Behind You

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

Haruhi was at her computer at the clubroom with the rest of her subordinates, surfing the internet as she was bored out of her mind. Across her was Koizumi and Kyon at the table, playing another board game that she didn't bother to know the name of, and Nagato and Mikuru were doing their usual stuff - the bookworm was reading and the mascot was serving them her excellent tea.

Then she came upon a website that talked about the supernatural, but it was mainly about ghosts and the rest of the paranormal. Intrigued, she busied herself in absorbing whatever interesting tid-bit she could find and once she had gotten enough information, she decided that she had found the club's newest plans for the weekend.

"I've got it! I know what we're going to do next week!" She said loudly. "It's gonna be awesome!"

On cue, Kyon responded annoyedly: "Eh, what is it?"

"We're going to search the derelict parts of the city for ghosts!"

Everyone turned their attention at their brigade leader, but something was off. They were staring at her.

Haruhi found this uncomfortable. "What?"

"Oh, Suzumiya-san, didn't you know that ghosts don't need to be in abandoned areas in to be discovered?"

"Huh?" The girl spun to look at Koizumi, who had an amused look on his face. "What do you mean by that, Koizumi?"

"What I mean is... hasn't it occured to you that there may be ghosts with us right now?" He elaborated carefully.

Putting on a puzzled look, Haruhi shook her head in confusion. "I... actually haven't thought about that."

"No problem. Everyone makes mistakes." Kyon cleared his throat. "Oh, and Haruhi?"

"What is it, Kyon?" She hissed at him.

"Look behind you."

And when Haruhi did, the last thing she ever felt was her neck snapping in two.


	13. Revenge

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

Standing triumphantly over a dying Kyon, Koizumi _beamed _as he pulled the knife out of his friend's guts. The watching crowd screamed in response for Kyon, who had already lost a large amount of blood. Earlier, everything was so peaceful, but then came the stabbing. It had happened so unexpectedly, that not even the two boys sitting closest to Kyon while they were eating their lunch together could've stopped Koizumi from attacking him.

"And that, my good friend Kyon, is for killing me in the first chapter!"

Spluttering out blood which landed all over the floor, Kyon barely suppressed his urge to scream while his shocked classmates looked on and managed a weak: "What... the hell... Koizumi?"

"Have you forgotten already?" The Esper blinked, before that manic grin of his again settled back in place. "Or are you only attempting to fool me whilst in your death throes?"

Kyon coughed again, looking at Koizumi in disbelief. The Esper had definitely gone mad. His face grew paler and his voice became weaker, and he was finding it very hard to stay conscious. "You've gone mad, Koizumi... I haven't even done anything horrible to you..." Another grimace, and he then clutched his bleeding, fatal wound.

"I have not gone mad. You, on the other hand, had." Koizumi responded proudly, leaning closer to Kyon's face to mock him one more time. "And now, it is time for you to-"

Taniguchi promptly knocked the crazy Esper out with a chair, then he gave him a well-deserved kick in the balls.

"Kunikida, call an ambulance, now!" The black haired teen knelt down and put pressure on Kyon's wounds. "Stay with us, man!"

"Too late for that..." Kyon muttered as he felt his last breath leave him.

Then, all was silent.


	14. Affair

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

Thinking absent-mindedly to himself, Kyon silently buttoned up his shirt as he grabbed his coat, his jeans on.

Behind him was a bed, and on it was a sleeping person who was snoring gently under the warm bedsheets. The figure was curled up, so it was hard for him to see the other person's features, with the darkness of the room adding to the difficulty of doing so. Not that it didn't matter - at least he would be able to get out of the place before the other person would wake up and see him leave. That was something he wasn't looking forward to at all.

The man suppressed a sigh as he tip-toed stealthily to the door. But once he put his hand on the doorknob...

"You're leaving already?"

The voice was feminine; and if Kyon was in a better mood he would have listed more good qualities about it, but settled on thinking that it fit her perfectly. He carefully turned to look at the woman over his shoulder, trying to force his face to look impassive. She had a frown on her pretty face, and her eyes were telling him that she didn't want him to. Kyon sharply turned his attention back to the door, feeling another pang of guilt in his chest at the sight.

"Yeah. I guess I have to. You know what my wife's like, Sasaki."

Sasaki looked away and went silent afterwards, turning the lamp on her side of her bed on. Now that the room had a bit of illumination, Kyon could see that her long hair was messy and that her clothes were scattered everywhere in her room. Again, he suppressed the urge to sigh after fully remembering what they did together last night - who would've thought that just agreeing to visit her on a weekend at her request would have ended up like this?

"I see."

Kyon glanced at her, not liking how her tone changed from afraid to resigned. He could only see parts of her naked back and her hair, but thankfully couldn't see the rest of her body because of the bedsheet she wrapped around herself. But aside from that, he could also see she was pointedly trying to not look at him. Was it just him, or did Sasaki give him a vibe that she wanted to spend more time with him? Maybe that was the case, but still...

He wasn't able to, having his significant other and his two lovely kids to return home to after all.

"I'm... sorry."

She didn't respond, but Kyon could've sworn he heard a sniffle. Feeling that no more words were needed to be exchanged between the two of them, he reluctantly opened the door and left Sasaki's house. On the sidewalk outside, he paused to take a glance at her window, seeing her standing behind it looking down on him morosely. A pained smiled was on her lips, and before he could acknowledge what he saw, she drew her thick curtains.

And so ended their heart-breaking affair.


	15. Bomb Blast

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

Koizumi's ears were ringing and his vision was blurry. He couldn't recall what exactly happened to him.

A groan escaped his lips. But he didn't hear it. He tried getting up, but he couldn't feel his arms.

There was something definitely wrong going on.

The smell of smoke and burnt meat was in his nostrils. He could also smell something else, but it was a smell that he was having a hard time trying to identify; he could feel the return of his senses, but the waves of pain that followed threw him off his concentration. He let out a louder groan, but this time he heard it, albeit faintly.

"Wha...What?" He asked himself in confusion as his hearing returned, closely stalked by his vision.

That was when he saw the carnage around him.

"Oh... God."

Kyon's charred corpse was propped against a burnt shell of a car, whose inhabitants' crisp skeletal remains were still in their seats. His missing left leg wasn't too far away, except that it was burnt until its skin was black. Haruhi's outstretched hand was inches away from his own, almost reaching and touching each other, the limb too also blackened but smoking. Their faces were hard to decipher - for they were burnt off, mostly unrecognizable.

As for Nagato, she maintained little damage but was distant from the Esper, having already stood up and surveying the area carefully, but even then her status as a Humanoid Interface didn't let her be exempted from suddenly experiencing a rising rush of junk data that her systems were accumulating, since observing the sight of a dead Kyon and her primary observation target. Koizumi though could tell that she was in shock. And that he was too.

Mikuru Asashina however was nowhere to be seen - whether or not that was a good thing Koizumi didn't know nor bother to care right now. The pain he felt everywhere on himself was overwhelming, and it wasn't long before he found himself writhing in it. It hurt like hell so much. His body felt like it had caught on fire and was doused by a chemical that only made things worse for him. He groaned again, trying to use his right hand to steady his face.

But his right hand was no more - it was just a torn-off stump of flesh and bones that was just dangling there.

His shock instantly wore off when he saw it. Then reality as he perceived it immediately returned in full force.

Koizumi screamed in horror.

A year later after the tragedy outside North High, the perpetrators of the bomb blast were still not caught.


	16. Watched By 'Nothing'

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

Koizumi couldn't put two and two together on how, despite his ESP, that he had the feeling of being watched.

He already allayed his worries to the rest of his Organization, having been at unease at the prospect of being watched by '_nothing'_ while watching over someone else all day - too at unease that even Kyon, the ever-oblivious 'normal' of the eccentric SOS Brigade that he was playing against now, noticed and became anxious for the guy.

Over their match of Chess, Kyon whispered: "Hey, Koizumi. You okay? Is there anything up with Haruhi?"

"Yes, I am." Koizumi nodded. "And no, she's fine. Rather, there's something else that's been bothering me lately."

"Really now?" The teen across him raised an eyebrow, shrugging as he lost a piece. "So, what is it?"

"I'd prefer not talk about it here." The Esper unsurely began, subtly gesturing to Haruhi. "At the cafe, maybe?"

Kyon considered it for a moment, then 'tsked' as he checkmated Koizumi's King. "Why not talk on the way home?"

"I don't want to. I mean, I'd love to, but I can't." He said apologetically. "It doesn't feel safe to me."

Kyon had every right to be surprised at Koizumi's words. Whatever made the Esper feel that vulnerable had got to be taken seriously, and he was glad that Nagato also happened to be listening in to their conversation, with Kyon merely giving her a glance to approve of her future actions that would massively benefit the troubled teenager.

"I see. If that's the case, at what time would we meet up at the cafe?"

Koizumi was about to respond when he felt it again.

Only this time, it was much, much stronger than it was before.

The Esper froze. The feeling of countless eyes boring deep into his skin made the very fibres of his being crawl, and then to make things worse he couldn't do anything about it, with justified fear paralyzing him on the spot, with his eyes wide open and his mouth slightly agape. To say that nobody noticed his whimpering was an understatement.

"K-Koizumi?" A Mikuru still in maid uniform stammered, perturbed by the sight of the fearful teenager.

"Koizumi?" A worried Kyon called out, glancing at Nagato again but this time not receiving a response, only a stare.

"Hey, what's going on?" Asked a perplexed Haruhi, who was deep in concentration reading something. "What-"

"GO AWAY!" Koizumi screamed, his arms flailing at something nearby. "LEAVE ME ALONE! DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!"

The unexpected outburst of the now frantic Koizumi caught everyone off guard, even Nagato. He stood up abruptly from his chair, causing the chessboard and the accompanying pieces to fly in all directions. Letting out a genuinely frightened yelp, Kyon too also stood abruptly from his chair, his arms raised to defend himself, when suddenly:

"**NO! NO! NO! GO AWAY!**"

Without further ado and without enough time to think straight, the panicking Esper bolted through the door, leaving everyone in the room aghast at what they've seen. But Koizumi's change in behavior warranted concern, and Kyon knew he had to go after him. Haruhi was still surprised, so it didn't take much to order her and the others to stay.

By the time the brunette had caught up to Koizumi, he was horrified by the sight he had seen.

The Esper was standing on the railing of the roof, posed like he was trying to keep away from something.

"The hell... Koizumi?! NO! Get down from there! You're going to get yourself killed!" Kyon yelled on impulse.

In what seemed to be in slow motion, Koizumi responded too late to Kyon's warnings, his arms flailing around himself trying to grab hold of something to prevent his imminent death by broken neck and cracked skull. From a distance it looked like he fell off on his own accord, but to the person witnessing his final moments, it wasn't.

It was like someone had pushed him off.

**_"NO!" _**Kyon screamed as he rushed to grab Koizumi's hand. **_"KOIZUMI!"_**

Koizumi screamed back as his hand reached upwards. Unfortunately, it couldn't grasp anything tightly in time.

The sound of his body crashing to the ground was then forever etched into Kyon's mind, who gaped in shock.

Months after his death, Haruhi and the rest of the remaining SOS Brigade became obsessed with finding out what made Koizumi snap and die. They, however, did not realize that they too would fall into the same fate as he did the more they delved deeper into the mystery surrounding their dead member's last moments. Nagato was not exempt.

One by one as the clock ticked with their days growing shorter, they died in the same manner as well.

The whole of Japan was left baffled and afraid after their fates were revealed by the police investigators.


	17. Kyon Does A Meme

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

_Author's Note:_

_I decided to make my other HSS fanfic 'Kyon Does A Meme' into a short story - I just deleted the main story and decided to put it here. So deal with it. Looks like I'm not going to continue it after all. Sorry to everyone who wanted a sequel to it._

* * *

Another day at North High finally ended, and after SOS Brigade activities in which exhausted me to the point of going directly to bed, I found myself being watched by two of my friends; one a tall, handsome lech, and the other, a small, thoughtful intellectual. As a weirdness magnet, I couldn't help but sigh at the sight of them - they were waiting for me by the gates judging by how intently my black-haired pervert friend was looking at me.

"Yo, Kyon! Get over here!" He called out, waving over his head.

I, the tired Brigade Grunt, sighed again and slowly made my way to the duo, too wanting of rest to effectively ignore Taniguchi and listen to Kunikida. Whatever they wanted from me at this time of the day (when they were supposed to be going home by now), I wanted it to be dealt with so I could go home in peace. Dealing with Haruhi and her whims alongside the others SOS Brigade members' needs was already more than enough, but these two?

Not that I didn't have any problems with Kunikida, of course, but mainly towards Taniguchi.

"What do you want, Taniguchi? And hello, Kunikida." I half-snapped at them as I approached.

"Woah, what's with your attitude, man? Nevermind that, though. I need to talk to you!"

Then he puts his arm over my head without warning and then pulled me down as if to initiate a conspiratorial conversation. Somehow, he had also managed to get the previously distant and now annoyed Kunikida too; now the three of us, huddled near the gates, looked like we were indeed having a real conspiratorial conversation. At least on Haruhi's standards if she were to see us like this. This was something that I instantly noticed...

... and tried to get out from. What the heck, Taniguchi? I know you mean well, buddy, but there is no way in Hell would I let Haruhi see us like this - she would probably alter reality unknowingly again so she could just find out what we are going to talk about - and let her make everyone in the SOS Brigade find out what we were up to. The last thing I needed now was Koizumi breathing down my neck, demanding me what I have done this time.

"Not so fast, Kyon." The taller teen grinned, his grip firm. "Remember that chat we had earlier this morning?"

Oh yes, that. That stupid chat that Haruhi couldn't help but overhear and tease you for it.

"Yeah, that! So, what do you say about doing that meme with us? We could get popular with the ladies, you know, if we show it to everyone at school! It'll boost our standing with everyone! Well, nearly everyone, but still! Don't you agree with me, Kunikida?"

"For the last time, we will not do the 'Everybody' meme, Taniguchi. Our education is much more important, and besides, if we were to show it on YouTube, we could be either ridiculed or praised for our actions. I actually don't want the former to happen, especially at this time of the year."

I didn't answer for or against what my friend said, but I found myself out of the grip, and began to walk home.

Taniguchi frowned, and then let Kunikida go. He brightened up after seeing a couple of girls talk past us, though.

"Oh come on, man! Don't be a spoil-sport! Besides, I think it's about time you get a girlfriend!"

"I'm not so sure about that..."

I think it was Kunikida who said that, or maybe me, but my tired senses really don't care anymore. I arrived at the train station, the two still with me for some reason. Taniguchi was probably being insistent or determined, but whatever. As for for the shorter teen, however, I don't mind him being around me at certain times of the day, but if he ends up following me to my house due to his priorities being screwed by the local pervert, well...

* * *

I find myself in time for my train back home. I hopped in and took a seat near a girl from my class, who was now either seizing me up or looking at me curiously ever since the last time I glanced at her and started small talk with her, which was probably yesterday. What is it with girls eyeing me these days? I know for sure I'm not much of a looker nor am I a ladies man (despite what a certain annoying Esper said to me), but I shrugged it off.

God, I'm so tired. I practically even forgot what Haruhi made me do at the clubroom to make me this tired.

"Hey Kyon, are you alright?"

And trust God to make me even more tired when I heard the voice of Taniguchi, especially when God happened to be an energetic, stubborn school girl whose eccentricities will make you wish you haven't met her at all or at the most have been raised with proper psychological conditioning and mental training. In my case, I'm lucky to live through all what happened. I feel a slight weight on my shoulder; probably my concerned, perverted friend's hand.

Speaking of him, why was he still with me? Oh, screw that. I just want to get to bed.

"I'm just tired, Taniguchi. Leave me alone, will you?"

"Not until you say 'Yes' with Kunikida. I mean, seriously, what's the worst that could happen to us?"

Plenty of things, Taniguchi, plenty of things. It is both a blessing and a curse that you don't know of my struggles.

"I can think of a few. But anyways, I'll talk to you about it next week. It's my stop."

* * *

Finally, I reach the neighborhood in which I lived. Not too far away, I can see my house. Already my body is automatically bracing itself for the 'surprise' little sister attack that was probably waiting inside of my house's front porch. Imouto-chan certainly is persistent with her attempts to make me play with her. As much as I wanted to, I still had my teenage problems - in the form of homework - to handle.

Though, I could put them off for today and play with her for once...

"So, that's your house, Kyon? Looks fairly decent."

Oh, _son of a bitch_. Taniguchi did follow me home after all.

"Aren't we supposed to be home by now?"

And Kunikida too, through no fault of his own - that damned pervy teen must have dragged him along.

"Yes, but, I want to do it today! It's a Friday, people! You guys don't have plans for the weekends, right?"

If I were in a fouler mood, I would have decked my taller friend at that. But I wasn't, unfortunately, and to cope with this sudden change in emotion and atmosphere, I sighed again and performed an overused action in my opinion - a facepalm, courtesy of the stress and irritation I'm currently feeling. If Taniguchi knew he had crossed a line, then he wasn't showing it. Kunikida, on the other hand, looked faintly scared. I don't blame him for it.

Nobody liked me while I was pissed.

"_Okay. Okay!_ We'll do it today, Taniguchi, _but just this once_, and that's the end of it. Then you two go home. _Alright?_"

"I knew you'd come around eventually, buddy!" He all but cheered gleefully. "What about you, Kunikida?"

The shorter teen glanced at my direction, and while I wasn't sure whether if he had managed to read what lied behind the calm-looking mask on my face, he then looked indecisive. I always believed in him to abide by order; but I'm starting to suspect that my two normal friends aren't that normal at all like I am. Why is it that Kunikida always advocated the good side of things whilst Taniguchi did the opposite, except on certain things they agreed on?

"I... I suppose it wouldn't hurt if we did something like this today... but like Kyon said, just this once only."

Damn it. I was hoping you'd say no, Kunikida. Never in my life have I considered you as a traitor before today.

"Sweet! Then let's get to it!"

Grudgingly, I let them in my house when we reached the door, right after I had managed to get off my bike.

Surprisingly as I entered, there was no little sister to be found. For a moment, I tensed. She should be home by now from school - she was usually at least an hour early before me. I briefly consider taking out my phone and calling her, asking her if she was fine or if she had detention, but I stopped in my tracks when I saw something out of the ordinary near the shoe rack. It turned out to be just a white, rectangular piece of paper, however.

Oh wait, it's a note from her; she said she was going out to hang out with her friends today. Good. Looks like tonight isn't going be that bad after all: No little sister to annoy us while we do the meme, which was also a plus, since she would probably want to join in, given the chance, and it'd take me more than enough time for me to pry her away from our activity, and by then it would already be late at night and my two friends would have to leave.

Though I was still dead tired, I somehow survived climbing the stairs, a Herculean effort in my point of view.

Without further ado, I reached for the doorknob and opened my room's door, and led Kunikida and Taniguchi in.

* * *

After turning on my computer, and after quickly hiding some rather 'sensitive' personal files, I booted up the command console and loaded the recording program, adjusting the camera Taniguchi attached to it via USB wiring so that on my monitor screen, I could see everyone present. We hadn't changed our clothing; but I made it a point for everyone to remove whatever piece of clothing that gave our school affiliation away off our persons.

We were already in our positions due to Taniguchi's commands. He was in the middle, I was on his right, and Kunikida was on his left. So, on the monitor screen, I was on the left, he was in the middle, and Kunikida was on the right. In the background, I can faintly see Shamisen curled up into a ball on my bed, apparently asleep, but his slowly moving tail proved otherwise. He was probably curious about what was going on, but he didn't do anything.

"Okay, I'm set. Ready, guys?" Taniguchi asked us after unbuttoning most of his shirt buttons to show his chest.

As for me, I had undid a few of mine, while Kunikida did nothing to his shirt. "Yeah. Camera's about to record."

"Then let's do this! Kunikida, start the music video now!"

"Gotcha! Starting in three... two... one..."

And so began the beginnings of the video that was most likely going to haunt us for the rest of our lives.

* * *

_The music began... Okay Kyon, you can do this... Wait, did I just call myself that nickname?_

_"Everybody..." Kunikida mouthed as he went a bit closer to the camera. "Rock your body..."_

_"Everybody..." He continued, moving back - he got this memorized. "Rock your body right..."_

_I then mimicked the action of turning a dial, preferring to use my hand to pretend increasing the volume than my mouth._

_"Backstreet's back, alright!" We all mouthed while like looking half-seriously at the camera, and then began our dance._

_Hey hey hey, yeah, no: There goes Taniguchi's cue._

_"Oh my God, we're back again." He started, pointing - while me and Kunikida danced. "Brothers, sisters, everybody sing."_

_We then all did another little jig to the beat of the song._

_"We're gonna bring the flavor, show you how." We repeated our actions. "__I've got a question for ya, better answer now."_

_Oh, yeah-hey-yay: My cue._

_"Am I original?" I mouthed, pulling my shirt to indicate I was the who asked the question._

_"Yeah!" Taniguchi and Kunikida 'said' as they nodded and paused to look at me._

_"Am I the only one?"_

_Funny how the first thing that came to my mind, when I 'asked' that, was about if I was the last normal person on Earth._

_"Yeah!" They 'said' again, reeling me out of my thoughts._

_"Am I sexual?"_

_I really hope I'm not. I don't want to be mobbed by fangirls when our video goes viral. I won't be happy if it does._

_"Yeah!" Taniguchi nodded eagerly while he looked at me again. Kunikida did his best to do his part._

_"Am I everything you need?" I continued nevertheless. "You'd better rock your body now!"_

_Now this was the part where we all were going to dance and mouth out the words together in sync.  
_

_"EVERYBODY! YEAH!"_

_"ROCK YOUR BODY! YEAH!"_

_"EVERYBODY! ROCK YOUR BODY RIGHT!"_

_"BACKSTREET'S BACK, ALRIGHT!"_

_Then we gave the camera thumbs up from our right hands - freezing in our movements but keeping our grins clear._

_"ALRIGHT!"_

_We did the same thing again, but this time we used our left hands. I then re-did my previous pretend action._

_"Now, put your hands up, in the air!" Kunikida followed up, while me and Taniguchi then mimicked pushing the ceiling._

_"Then wave them around like you just don't care!" I then began to mock barking. The teen beside me continued dancing._

_"If you want a party, let me hear you yell!" Then the two of us mock howled, while Kunikida looked on._

_"Because we've got it going on again!" The shorter teen then finished, looking enthusiastic all of a sudden._

_Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah: My turn once more._

_"Am I original?" I 'asked' again, pulling my shirt once more, but this time there's a faint smile on my face._

_"Yeah!" Taniguchi and Kunikida 'said' again as they genuinely smiled - they were actually enjoying this! And I did, too!_

_"Am I the only one?" Taniguchi mouthed, grinning and showing the camera his chest. Hey, why'd you do that for?_

_"Yeah!" I can't help but look skeptically at him when I said my line. My intellectual friend, however, paid it no mind._

_"Am I sexual?" In a very un-Kunikida way, he seductively let his hands go down his chest. Wow. I'm impressed._

_"Yeah!" Taniguchi said his line a second late - he must be jealous of Kunikida being able to pull the stunt off like that._

_"Am I everything you need?" I repeated again. "You'd better rock your body now!"_

_Here we go!_

_"EVERYBODY! YEAH!"_

_"ROCK YOUR BODY! YEAH!"_

_"EVERYBODY! ROCK YOUR BODY RIGHT!"_

_"BACKSTREET'S BACK, ALRIGHT!"_

_Our right hands give yet another round of thumbs ups._

_"ALRIGHT!"_

_So did our left hands._

_Then the music began to slow down. We responded in kind by also slowing down. Taniguchi then 'lessened' the volume._

_Meanwhile, I began to act like a malfunctioning robot while Kunikida froze in place, looking at me. He nodded and started._

_"So everybody, everywhere!" I looked around my room; my friend beside me did too. "Don't be afraid, don't have no fear!"_

___I relaxed on my chair while Taniguchi flashed his chest to the camera. _"I'm gonna tell the world, make it understand:"

_"As long there will be music, we'll be coming back again!"_

_Taniguchi then dramatically 'increased' the volume. As he did he so, all of us slowly crept closer to the screen. We banged our heads to the beat of the music video, getting ready to dance vigorously for the last time. It was then when I noticed we were no longer mouthing our words; we were actually excitedly saying them in English. Not a moment too soon later, the song then played out its last moments._

_One more time, guys!_

_"EVERYBODY! (Come on, do it!) YEAH!"_

_"ROCK YOUR BODY! (Yeah!) YEAH!"_

_"EVERYBODY! ROCK YOUR BODY RIGHT! (Rock your body right!)"_

_"BACKSTREET'S BACK! __EVERYBODY! (Everybody! Rock your body!) YEAH!"_

_"(Rock your body!) __ROCK YOUR BODY!_ YEAH! (Everybody, Rock your body!)"

_"EVERYBODY! (Everybody! ____Rock your body!) _ROCK YOUR BODY RIGHT! (Everybody!)"

_"BACKSTREET'S BACK, ALRIGHT! (ALRIGHT!)"_

_The only thing we needed to now was to freeze in our tracks again, sporting yet another thumbs up from our right hands._

_And then, finally, it was all over._

_All I could say now was this:_

_That. Was. Awesome._


	18. The Cycled Continued

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

_Author's Notes:_

_This... wasn't supposed to make any sense, but then again your imagination may lead you to some. Enjoy, anyways._

* * *

The cycle continued.

He was bound and gagged; She was free and lustful.

Kyon was furious, angry; Tsuyura was blissful, happy.

He was bleeding, weak; She was fine, strong.

He was no longer in control; She had assumed direct control.

And Kyon was left to her tender mercies; With Tsuyura's definition of 'tender' meaning cruel.

He went missing for months; She made regular appearances in public.

Now reverse the roles - Let's see here...

She went missing for months; He made regular appearances in public.

And Tsuyura was left to his tender mercies; With Kyon's definition of 'tender' meaning cruel.

She was no longer in control; He had assumed direct control.

She was bleeding, weak; He was fine, strong.

Tsuyura was furious, angry; Kyon was blissful, happy.

She was bound and gagged; He was free and lustful.

And the cycle continued furthermore.


	19. Interrupted, Her Suicide Was

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

Haruhi looked glumly at the chair and noose she prepared for herself in her room.

Then, she took one step closer to it...

"Honey! It's dinner time!"

"Urgh, mom! What did I tell you about not interrupting my suicide attempts?!"

"Plenty of things that involved you showing your feelings to a boy! Now, get down here and eat while the food's hot!"

"Fine, fine..."

Interrupted, her suicide was.


	20. Cave In

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

_Author's Note:_

_I'm not sure if this is supposed to merit any concern, but I got a PM from a site called NovelJoy telling me that I should join the website's community and post my stories there too. Though I did a couple of background checks and though a lot of people are both saying that it may be a scam and that it may be the real deal, I still have my misgivings about it. So... what do you guys think I should do? My mind's telling me not to join, by the way._

* * *

When the dust finally subsided, Taniguchi and Kunikida realized they had been separated from the others.

Coughing as they took hold of their surroundings, the duo waved their hands around trying to breathe unmolested air. In a matter of moments, they were able to, but that was a minor blessing compared to the fact that they somehow survived the cave in of the mine entrance. What - or who, to be more suspicious - caused it was a mystery, but thankfully mystery wasn't in their strong suit, and so the duo began to calm down.

"You okay, Kunikida?" Taniguchi asked his friend worriedly after letting out his last cough.

"I-I'm fine." The shorter teen replied, still shaken. "You?"

"I'm good." He responded. "Man, that was so close!"

"Yeah. If we didn't go deeper into the tunnel, we would have been goners by now."

A quick scan around the place made Taniguchi think otherwise.

"You're right on that count... but, do you think we still are?"

A cold chill ran down Kunikida's spine. Taniguchi got a point - the rubble looked like it would take months to clear.

"... We're still screwed, aren't we?"

Then, a feeling of something horrifying dawned on them.

"... Yeah. Yeah, we are."

The boys despaired.


	21. No Need To Rush

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

Friday was a cold, cloudy day for a school day, and with the growing darkness that signalled the coming evening, many students had already went home happy with high hopes for their planned activites over the weekends - the bell having already rung minutes earlier. But, at the SOS Brigade's clubroom however, five students from different years yet remained, all of them still doing their club activites - in other words, they were just simply hanging out.

Koizumi and Kyon, as usual, were playing a board game to pass the time. Haruhi was at their only computer looking up on something that caught her attention, Mikuru was performing her maid duties, and Nagato was reading yet another book that would take others months to fully comprehend and then enjoy. They were fully at peace, and moments like this were something that they treasured, for what was better than being with your closest friends?

But every good thing had got to have an end.

The sudden sound of water peltering their windows immediately broke the peaceful atmosphere in their room.

"Huh?" Kyon was the first to speak. "It's raining?"

"Yeah, seems like it..." Haruhi mused thoughtfully. "It looks like we're going to have to end our club activity early."

"Good idea, Suzumiya-san, as the rain doesn't seem to be letting up soon." Koizumi agreed.

"Well, we still have ten minutes left, though." Mikuru suggested. "I suppose we could wait it out and see if it will?"

"There's no harm in that." Kyon seconded. "And besides, everyone has an umbrella; there's no need to rush."

The five nodded in agreement and continued on with their activities, up until the bell rang again.


	22. Mirror, Mirror

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

Kyon couldn't believe his eyes, so had to rub them to make sure he wasn't hallucinating.

Surely enough, he wasn't.

Seeing a female version of himself on his mirror's reflection was a shock for him, to say the least. Just when he thought when things wouldn't get any worse for today - having been woken up painfully by his little sister earlier by a mean elbow drop on his chest - now this had to happen. But funny thing was, he hadn't been transformed into a girl... but his reflection sure was. And the two of them were also wearing identical clothing, but his reflection's hair was done up into a neat ponytail that nearly made him lose his concentration for a moment.

"Okay, what the hell?" He said out loud in disbelief as he stared back at the female him, who mimicked his actions.

A few seconds of awkward silence later, Kyon decided to blame this on Haruhi.

Little did he know that in an alternate world where he was a girl, Kyonko decided to blame this on Haruki.


	23. Warped Butterfly Effect

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

The gunshot rang in Kyon's ears as he finished off Fujiwara.

The bullet pierced his head cleanly, and with a jolt the blond died in his arms.

The other teenager's face was forcibly blank as he then laid the corpse to the ground gently, closing Fujiwara's lifeless eyes as he gave a sigh and a shake of his head to his fallen enemy. Searching his pockets and also trying his best not to think about what he was doing, Kyon pulled out the TPDD and placed it on the teen's still-warm hand, unable to help but feel depressed about stopping a guy who just really wanted to return to his original world.

Fujiwara in his last moments of course had explained his motives to hm: They were truly tear-jerking and noble.

What he said about the older Mikuru Asashina being his sister before now made a lot of sense after his final words. Kyon now fully understood why the Time-Traveller acted the way he had, being rude to everyone to make sure he wouldn't get close to them or feel any attachment to them and vice versa - for he was a tragic victim of a greatly warped Butterfly Effect.

He had messed up something badly in his original time-line, and because of that he had been through alternate time-lines travelling from one point to another non-stop since then, eventually seeing and experiencing far too many of them that in the end he had been forced to resort to using Sasaki in this time-line to bring him back to his own world to start fresh all over again - and now, Kyon wished he had gotten to know the guy on friendlier terms.

"... Who knew you were a good guy all along?" He muttered to himself as he looked up at the sky, his tears falling.


	24. REDACTED

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

It was a cold early morning at Site-12 when Dr. 'F' awoke in his office, having fallen asleep due to the exhaustion he received from the paperwork concerning SCP-1230 that he had been doing last night. Having become more or less it's handler and closest friend since the day Professor 'B' committed suicide after an approved test - which the following reports of the event were still classified as 'for your eyes only' amongst the scientific community of the Foundation - 'F' had done what he could and continued to keep the sentient being's Object Class remain 'Safe'.

The man's eyebrows furrowed for a moment as he tiredly took note of his surroundings, his vision still bleary from sleep added with his extreme reluctance to be up and about at this time, partly due to the fact he knew he was going to busy again. On his desk lay scattered papers of great importance which he vaguely recalled reading, but remembered that their contents were too sensitive for him to even think about at this very moment, unless he really wanted to lose his job by accidentally leaking the information to someone else, or worse, get demoted to D-class.

Abruptly yawning, and then mentally grumbling that he should've gone home when he had the chance, the tired doctor absent-mindedly and irritatedly stretched his arms, in the process unintentionally knocking several of his disorganized belongings off his main work place. The clatter of objects falling and colliding with one another proved to be an effective way of making one's self become fully alarmed, as the surprised man found out for himself. His office's floor was now a mess, with pens, papers, and other related materials hindering his path in every direction.

Automatically cursing at his own misfortune, he stooped down to gather them slowly, taking great effort to return them to their proper places as he did so. Grunting, he stifled another yawn and ignored his rumbling stomach, afterwards making a mental note to get his breakfast from the Site's cafeteria, where the hired and sworn-to-secrecy high-class cooks would be able to make what he wanted to eat first thing of the day without charge or complaint. 'F' was nearly done with his clean-up when he saw something distinct from of the corner of his eyes.

He paused in his tracks, wondering when he had borrowed a Japanese light novel from the Site's library, which was currently sprawled untidily under his desk. Heaving the last of his unsorted belongings to one side, Dr. 'F' bent down to take it, again making another mental note to return it to the Site's overly stern librarian and apologize to him for probably taking it away without his permission. But he couldn't help but feel that the book's unexpected presence in his room had another meaning to it. SCP-1230 came in mind, but it had no ability to move books around the place.

Filing the thought away for consideration later, he began to make his way to the cafeteria to get his breakfast.

Along the way, he was greeted by the sight of many of his peers and colleagues forming a crowd around one of the test rooms. Alarmed, and concerned at the view because it was the test room where he usually let SCP-1230 do it's thing on volunteers and unwilling test subjects - most of which were D-class personnel of very little value - he approached them and politely coughed to draw attention to himself, where then the gathered personnel of the Site who were either off or on duty took notice of his confused company.

"What's going on? What happened?"

A haggard looking security guard promptly emerged from the crowd, identity obscured by the mask he was wearing.

"Doctor, can you please come with me? We have a dilemma that I'd like to show you."

Hunger was soon forgotten by Dr. 'F' as a cold chill went down his spine, his legs numbly following the guard.

"And what seems to be the problem...?"

The crowd parted wide enough for the man to see five teenagers of Asian descent sprawled on the test room floor.

"Oh."


	25. Chase Of The Century

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

_Author's Note:_

_The following story which you will read may or may not have come from another fanfic author due to it's content; but I swear to God, I came up with this on my own, but nevertheless to anyone who thinks that I copied this off someone else, go ahead and hate me. But I'm telling the truth. By the way, this was a story that I posted a while back and then deleted because I became ashamed of it. And now? No, I'm not. There are also plenty out-of-character responses from Kyon._

_Anyways, enjoy._

* * *

I hate Mondays. And my life.

I hate it and all the weirdness that has surrounded it. I hate the fact that I'm friends with a bookish alien, an ever-smiling esper, a moe time-traveller, and a supposed 'God' in a hyperactive schoolgirl form. I also hate the fact that I'm close to a bloody death, running towards the safety of my home. Which was in sight as my tired legs began to buckle. No! Not right now, my legs! Just please, hold on a bit longer... I'm almost there! Please! Just not yet!

Whatever was happening to me today was all Koizumi's fault. And yes, I didn't want to think about it. But I did.

One moment, everything was normal... or, as normal as I had accepted it to be. Hanging around with beings that shouldn't exist in the first place had changed my perspective on many things, namely that God can be a horrible, horrible club leader. The next, it was horrifying. Haruhi Suzumiya, founder of our ever so interesting brigade, had pounced on me with a look of desire on her beautiful features. And the look in her eyes had caught me off-guard.

It was a look of pure love. From our tangled position on the floor (I'm still surprised she hadn't broken my neck when we fell to the floor), I looked up in surprised pain, and saw that she was looming over me, licking her lips. The light from the ceiling made it hard for me to see her clearly as her face was shadowed, but the darkness revealed another yet disturbing facet of her new change of attitude - her pretty eyes were creepily glowing. I gasped.

The club room fell silent, but I could tell that everyone froze in place. It had happened so fast, so unexpectedly, that even I couldn't think straight. Haruhi? On top of me? In front of everyone else in the SOS Brigade? Normally, I'd feel repulsed and furious by the eccentric girl's sudden action, but this was different. She continued to lick her lips, and their constant twitching gave me the idea that she was excited and wanted to pull me into a long, passionate kiss.

Her gaze compelled me to look back into her eyes... but I broke it and looked around.

Koizumi sat where he usually did, mouth agape, the board game we were playing messed up and scattered across the floor and table. A dark look was on Asashina-san's face as her mind had finally registered what had happened to me. I'm so sorry you had to see this, Asashina-san. Look, I know we can't be together because of Haruhi and her ability to bend reality to her will, but it's odd for you to give me that look. It's going to be in my nightmares, honest!

As for Nagato... well, I wasn't even sure if she was paying any attention to the God and normal human sprawled across the floor. I did know however that she stopped reading the book she had with her - I could see that her eyes were fixed in place, as if trying to understand a word that was complex to her. Not that she had any problems understanding anything. She was a Humanoid Interface after all, though she lacked emotions... or did she now?

But I knew she had witnessed what had happened, and, if my eyes weren't deceiving me, she was... angry.

Back to the crazy girl on top of me. I noticed that she huffed jealously when I turned to look at the other members of the brigade. To me, it was strange - never for once, aside from me looking at Asashina-san, had I seen her get angry when I paid attention to the others. It was like as if she was telling me to focus on her. Which, in the light of recent events in context, was what I was supposed to be doing anyways. So I look into her eyes again, entranced.

Koizumi was the first to get his bearings back. The atmosphere was thick with silence and tension; so thick that I guessed even he didn't need to use his Esper powers to detect it. He looked around and racked his brains to find something to defuse the situation, hopefully in a completely safe way, but knowing the smiling smug bastard, he was probably thinking of a way to make my life even worse. That, or he was genuinely trying to help me out here.

"My my, Suzumiya-san. You acted very much like a Yandere towards Kyon just now."

Son of a... I'll kill you if Haruhi takes it the wrong way, because I know I'm the only one who's going to suffer later!

Haruhi reluctantly looked away from me and stared at Koizumi, unbeknownst to herself that she was wearing a lopsided-looking grin. Mikuru and Nagato both remained silent and frozen, so frozen in Mikuru's case that if I dared to look at her face again I was sure to see the Grudge instead, and so silent in Nagato's case I was sure to see the Grudge too. Maybe I got my knowledge about the ghost wrong, but still... it was unnerving to see them that way.

"I know, Koizumi. It's because..._ I am_."

And that's why I was running away from the school at a break-neck speed long before we were dismissed from the club, leaving a clueless Taniguchi and Kunikida walking by the gates wondering what had overcome me. But I was too busy thinking. Haruhi? A Yandere for me, of all people? Good grief, and I thought my life was worse than before! Sure, having a loving girlfriend was a good thing, but an obviously obsessed and psychotically possessive one?

Another God must have been with me during that lengthy chase down that damned hill and towards my home; I ran the entire way non-stop!

I'm still running for my life. Not too far away behind me, I can hear the rapid footsteps and the heavy breathing of a flustered girl. I did not dare to look back and waste precious time. I had to go home, and fast. Haruhi (or was it still the Haruhi I knew? I'm not sure anymore, her powers might have influenced herself to act like this towards me) was hot on my trail. I had a feeling I couldn't shake her off, even if I did my best to - besides, she knew where I lived.

I am now at my house.

Finally, in a fluid motion, I grab the keys from their hidden spot, insert them in the hole, turned them and entered my house at the same time my legs finally gave way, causing me to fall on the floor hard. The door miraculously shut itself close, leaving me breathing hard on the floor almost laughing away in relief, when I remembered something I should have remembered sooner - that the world could be remade any moment by her because of me refusing her.

But it didn't, somehow. If there was anyone to tell me about it, it would be Koizumi, and as much as I now hated him, I wanted to know if the world had changed in anyway possible in the span of time I ran away from the angry Goddess. So, still panting from my run (which might look good on television, as I had appeared to everyone who didn't really know me that much that I was practicing for the Olympics or something), I called the annoying Esper.

_"Kyon!? Oh, thank goodness you're still alive!"_

"No thanks to you, you bastard! What in the world made you say that Haruhi acted like a Yandere to me?!"

_"I... to be honest, she did act the part! I'm so sorry! I didn't know my comment would affect her this strongly!"_

"Great! Just great! When I get my hands on you, I'm going to-"

At this point I hung up the call for Koizumi's sake (he was still a friend you know, and a useful one at that) and screamed obscenities in the air, getting my feelings out of my chest. It was a good thing my family wasn't in that moment; otherwise, my little sister would be traumatized, my mother would be terrified, and my father would beat me up while asking me what I've done to his real son. After I've finally calmed the hell down, I called him again.

_"Y-Yes, Kyon?"_

"Have any Closed Spaces appeared yet? And are there any changes to the world we are in?"

_"Surprisingly, no, not at all. It's like Suzumiya-san-"_

I then hung up on him for good when I heard it. Ah, good news. It was then when I realized something. I was still going to put up with this tomorrow. And today happened to be the first school day of the first week of the first month of the year. Now how am I supposed to deal with it for the rest of the school year? And I didn't exactly like the looks Mikuru and Nagato had given me and Haruhi earlier... if looks could kill, we would've been both dead by now.

Speaking of Haruhi... where did she go?

I suddenly felt a weight around my waist. I paled; I knew who it was. I was trapped in my own house with her.

Haruhi was straddling me. Leaning too close to my face, I can easily see she had gone off the deep end of the sanity spectrum by just looking at her glowing, yet shadowed eyes. I gulp as I feel her breath on my face. She smells nice. I wonder if she tastes nice too- No, Kyon, thinking of her this way is wrong. You don't love her. But she loves you. Madly. She then puts her hands on my shoulders, preventing my tired body from rising to resist her love.

"Hey there, sexy. Shall we get it on?"

My fate is sealed. It's raping time.


	26. Defiant To The End

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

After being punched in the face, a battered Student Council President spat out blood at his captor.

Furious, the large man growled and grabbed the now glasses-less teenager by the collar, with the teenager's feet dangling from the difference in their height. But the younger man glared back at him defiantly, unafraid of more pain heading his way, and even more so his possible death at the hands of this merciless and cruel giant of a person. He had a good reason why he wasn't afraid - he was doing this for a girl that didn't like him in the slightest.

A girl that he was keeping up appearances to; a girl that deep down inside himself he wanted to be friends with.

"Where is Haruhi Suzumiya!?" The man yelled, the veins in his head bulging. "Answer me now or I'll kill you!"

He had been abducted by this person on the way home, waking up to find himself in a dark room, with his hands tied behind his back. At first the dark-blue haired teenager was confused, but once he saw the pictures of Haruhi Suzumiya plastered on the walls around himself, he knew that his abductor wasn't a sane one: he realized he was obsessed with that eccentric girl, and if his appearances were anything to go by, he was a predator of young girls.

Rather than let a horrible fate befall her, the Student Council President had decided to prevent this from happening.

With the only way he knew how in this kind of scenario - through suffering.

"I'll won't tell you anything, you bastard!" The teenager yelled back, earning a stronger punch in the gut.

Dropping him to his knees afterwards, the man yelled again. "Where is Haruhi Suzumiya?! TELL ME!"

"Fuck you!" Again, another brutal punch to the face was thrown. "Nngh... Go to hell!"

A scream of rage erupted from the man, who then began to kick the downed teenager violently.

"TELL ME! TELL ME! TELL ME! TELL ME!"

By now, the kicking were increasingly becoming less controlled. Many bones were being broken.

Amidst the waves of pain that coursed his body, especially his chest, the teenager spat out: "NEVER!"

At that, the man finally snapped with his screaming becoming unintelligible, pulling out a knife.

The Student Council President continued to glare at him; he was defiant to the end.

And then, he was stabbed multiple times in the head and chest.

His murderer was later found hanged in his own prison cell after being convicted of first degree murder, attempted rape, and abduction.

Meanwhile, the dark-blue haired teenager was buried a hero.


	27. Continued Survival

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

The SOS Brigade were at the ruins of North High - the source of the viral outbreak that enveloped their region of Japan. Having been quarantined by the government, the people left inside the doomed area had resorted to using necessary means of survival, with mixed results depending on the kind of people who wanted to live this through. The small group of teenagers were the kind who wanted to, and thus, they had survived up until this long.

Growling and clawing sounds were coming from the opposite side of door that Kyon and Koizumi were holding their backs against, and outside the room the cries of the undead were getting louder in volume. Aiming their weapons at the door, Yuki, Haruhi, and Mikuru took cover behind a table turned on its side, waiting for the very moment the door would be broken down by the mob they had unintentionally riled up while they were searching for supplies.

"We can't hold them out much longer!" Koizumi said through grit teeth. "They're going to get through!"

In response a rotten hand broke through the wood, grabbing his shoulder, but he just hacked it off immediately.

Kyon raised his gun and shot the zombie in the head point-blank through the hole. "They're coming through!"

More hands broke through the door, causing the Esper to swing madly and dismember more limbs. Kyon wisely moved away from grabbing range and promptly shot at the zombies whose heads were slow to move. Koizumi continued hacking off arms with his absurdly sharp machete as he leapt out of harm's way and into safety. Then the girls opened fire with their guns, their bullets accurately hitting their marks. Eventually, their weapons let out clicks.

"I'm out of ammo!" Haruhi called out she mentally cursed, her strapped smoking shotgun dangling from her chest.

"M-me too!" Mikuru included, staring disbelievingly at her sub-machine gun's empty clip.

"I am out of ammunition as well." Nagato added emotionlessly, holding her assault rifle close to her chest.

Wordlessly, Kyon knelt to one knee and opened the ammunition bag he carried around. He rummaged through it a bit as Koizumi stabbed into the mob, and after finding the things he was looking for he carefully threw them to the girls. Nagato caught her clip and inserted it to her gun, then shortly afterwards reloaded. Mikuru caught hers flimsily, nearly causing the bullets in the clip to spill out, while Haruhi took her time inserting the shells from the ammo box.

After what seemed to be a while, Yuki's assault rifle, Haruhi's shotgun and Mikuru's sub-machine joined the roars of Kyon's pistol, with Koizumi finally whipping out his revolver and firing into the walking dead. The overall combined noise deafened them temporarily, but they didn't mind and kept firing up until the last walking corpse fell down, its brains blasted out of its skull. And just to make extra sure, Koizumi stabbed the heads of the fallen bodies.

It took them a while to get their bearings back together, with Kyon being the first to relax but yet remain alert. The adrenaline that pumped into their systems began to disappear, with Koizumi becoming the most tired out of all of them, having spent most of his time stabbing and hacking away the dreaded undead with his melee weapon. It was then that everyone else began to relax, with Haruhi letting out a shaky laugh as she lowered her shotgun.

"Man... that was so close." She said, still breathing heavily from the experience. "I thought it was the end for us."

"Y-Yeah." Kyon stammered, for once not being snarky in weeks. "Though, we're running low on ammo now..."

"Nevermind that; we're alive, Kyon, and that's all that matters right now!" Haruhi responded enthusiastically.

"I must say, I agree with Suzumiya-san on that one." Koizumi added as he wiped gore off his face, chuckling.

While the three teenagers were celebrating the continued survival of their small and very close-knit group, Nagato approached the windows, and with wide eyes Mikuru realized that something was wrong. Nagato mutedly pointed outside as she turned to face the Time Traveller, who made herself go close to the Humanoid Interface and see what she caught her attention. Her face paled, and with good reason; a massive horde was coming for them.

"Uh... everyone?" She drawled nervously.

Everyone aside from Nagato turned to Mikuru instantly.

"We have a problem." She continued timidly and fearfully.

Then Kyon dashed to her side, seeing for himself the zombies who were slowly on the way to their room.

"Crap." He gasped, his eyes also becoming wide. "There's too many of them... We gotta move, now!"

"Where to?!" Haruhi asked frantically as they followed Kyon's lead. "Everywhere else is swarming with them!"

"The roof!" Kyon yelled over the growing noise. "We saw a helicopter flying around earlier; if we can get the pilot's attention, we can get out of the region alive!"

"Okay!"

The group rushed through the body-littered corridor, occasionally slowing down to shoot at the zombies in their way. They ran until they reached the roof, where then they shortly barricaded the roof's door with whatever they could find. And surely enough, the helicopter that they saw earlier was flying overhead, with their pilot immediately spotting them waving their hands at him. He gently lowered until they could climb in, and in the nick of time too:

The zombies had burst through the door.

After that, the pilot understandably flew up suddenly without warning and nearly caused everyone to jolt out of their seats. Seconds became minutes and minutes became hours as the aircraft flew over the quarantine walls of the region, landing on a pad at the same time as a few other helicopters did. And when the teenagers stepped out, they were immediately escorted by a group of soldiers to a group of scientists who tested them for infection.

They all turned up negative.

And they lived happily ever since.


	28. Saw Parody?

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

_Author's Note:_

_Okay, what the hell was I thinking when I was making this short story? I know I got plenty of things about the Saw Series in it wrong, but still... what the hell? Urgh. Anyways, I hope I made it good enough for reading material. Enjoy._

* * *

Two girls were trapped in a dark room, and they were strapped to floor-bound chairs, but fortunately not gagged. They had talked to each other for the past few minutes, as they wanted to know where they were and how they had managed to get into such a weird place, but they did not have the answers they wanted to hear. For all they knew, Sasaki and Haruhi were abducted from their homes and been put here without a sign of their captor.

They looked disheveled and afraid - understandable because of the strange circumstances they were in - with their fear increasing at an alarming rate when a part of the metal wall suddenly hissed open. To add to the effect of their surprise, hidden lights situated around the room's ceiling turned on as well, temporarily blinding them and earning the newcomer to their 'prison' shrieks from their dry lips. Their voices bounced off from the walls, hurting their ears.

"Argh, my ears!" Cried the figure sharply.

Wait a minute, that voice... It sounded familiar.

Sasaki was the first to get her bearings back, and upon the return of her vision, her face paled and she promptly gasped at the person whose appearance was haggard and showed signs of recent fighting. One sleeveless but bleeding arm gripped a bloody pistol. The other arm was clutching his gut. His legs seemed ready to buckle and fall over. His face showed signs of trauma and extreme pain; like he had been forced to do something horrible.

Yes, Kyon had definitely seen better days. And seconds later, Haruhi came to the same conclusion.

"K-Kyon?!" Haruhi started with a zap to her senses, with her eyes wide at how he looked: Like hell. "Wh-What!?"

To amplify her surprise, the metal wall closed in on itself and the lights shut themselves off. The girls, totally unexpecting this, shrieked in surprise again and for the second time hurt their ears, as well as Kyon's. Suddenly, there was a static noise coming from behind one of the walls, and that self-same noise-muffling wall opened, revealing not another person but a TV. It looked old but recently used; as if someone had meticulously fixed it.

Then the static on its screen dissipated and showed the image of a white-faced doll with red evil eyes and red spirals on its cheeks. Its lips were red too, with the colour looking suspiciously like blood. Its black hair did not shine, but it was clear that it had been combed. And adding to the already disturbing image of the doll was a red bowtie around its neck and a fitting black suit - both were too new, too clean to be mistaken for anything else.

Immediately, Sasaki and Haruhi froze. They knew who this doll was. They recognised it from the news.

And Kyon knew it far too well for his tastes, glaring at it and tempted to shoot the TV.

_"Hello Kyon." _Said the doll, whose moving mouth uncannily acted like a human's one. _"I want to play one last game."_

_"So far, you've spent most of your time saving the lives of other players of my games, instead of preserving your own; spent it thinking over how to save them and then saving them at the cost of your own health. For that, I believe a needed change in pace is in order."_

"_I offer you yet another chance to save more lives. And you'll even get to put your gun into good use."_

_"As you can see, two of your closest friends are strapped to unmovable and unbreakable chairs. There are no locks for their bindings, for I have direct command over them through remote control. And, unlike your near-deathly experiences with my games, this is fairly straightforward - choose which friend you will have to kill in order for you to go free with the other. Alternatively, you can kill yourself; For only two people are allowed to leave this room alive."_

"_You see? Choosing to put others before yourself will only lead you to suffering, Kyon. Hasn't that knife wound from Koizumi's episode taught you anything? Hasn't being forced to let Tsuyura shoot you made you think differently? Hasn't nearly losing your life to save Taniguchi, Kunikida, Mikuru and Nagato made you learn your lesson already? If not... I wish was able to change your mind. You would have made a fine apprentice."_

_"Regrets aside... Remember that only two people will leave this room alive."_

_"You have one hour."_

_"Live, or die."_

_"Make your choice."_

And so, the TV turned off, leaving three stunned teenagers in its wake. The lights turned back on.

"... What?" Sasaki blankly stared at the black screen, aghast at what she had heard. "I... What?"

"Jigsaw... you sick fuck." Kyon muttered to himself in disbelief, his eyes wide and glazed; anger apparent.

And then he leaned to the wall and let his back slide down it in obvious despair. The hand which held his guts, whose palm was actually bloody at a closer glance, lifted itself to grasp his face and smeared it accidentally as the teenager struggled to come to terms with what had transpired, in the meanwhile enabling the girls to see his gunshot wound. It certainly didn't look pretty, and it shocked Sasaki when she saw how much blood he'd lost.

Haruhi, snapping out of the stupor she got from listening to Jigsaw's account of events that Kyon lived through, let her eyes wander to her brigade member's bleeding arm, and with a wince she remembered that Koizumi of all people had done that to him with a knife. What caused Koizumi's bout of madness? And were everyone else okay? Barring her worried thoughts, she could see that Kyon's gun was trembling, with his trigger-finger limp and heavy.

Having to choose who to kill must be harder than it sounds. The girls could only watch in belated hope.

Twenty-five minutes passed. Still no movement from Kyon. His eyes are still wide.

Fifteen minutes passed. His wounded arm twitches. His eyes show despair and depression.

Ten minutes passed. His hand grips the pistol. Tears are slowly trailing down his smeared cheeks.

Five minutes passed. Kyon finally stands up, 'resolve' (actually both guilt and regret) in his eyes.

"Kyon?"

The brunette didn't respond to the girls, but he looked around the room instead, acting like they weren't there. A strange, _at ease _feel was on his face, and the small smile on his lips baffled yet creeped out the duo. He slowly shook his head, still wearing that smile, then turned to face his gun. He chuckled lightly, but sadly. The weapon then stopped shaking, and - were the girls seeing what they thought they were seeing? - he pointed it to them.

They were too horrified to say anything: Which one of them was going to die? Which one of them was going to live?

"I'm sorry." He said apologetically and mourningly, before changing his aim to shoot at his temple instead.

* * *

After the NPA broke into Jigsaw's newest playground after an anonymous tip-off, they did a thorough search of the rooms to find both the survivors and the dead of the American criminal's twisted games. Many were unresponsive, while a few had to be subdued as they had gone off the deep end. Several careful and coordinated searches later, a SAT team finally burst through a room that had a metal wall-door, hoping to find more survivors...

And they did.

But unlike the previous survivors, they were crying over a freshly killed body - they were also inconsolable.


	29. Expulsion

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

Huddled on the floor of their clubroom, five figures were smoking weed.

Then suddenly, their door opened, revealing a not too very pleased Okabe glaring at the rule-breaking and now futureless teenagers. They gasped, scrambling to dispose of their wrong-doing despite his presence and watching eyes, but the damage had been done and now they had no escape from his wrath. Their sensei too glared at them with disbelief and shame - seriously, just what were those five thinking, smoking weed in their clubroom?

"W-We can e-explain..." Said their leader, stammering in fear.

"I will not listen to any of your pathetic excuses!" Snapped Okabe, a vein on his forehead bulging.

"B-But...!" The leader continued to stammer, struggling to survive an imminent verbal-mental breakdown.

But the teacher only became angrier. **_"All of you are EXPELLED!"_**

And that was why the Computer Research Society - aka the Computer Club - was no more in North High.


	30. War Veteran

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

Holding a pack of cigarettes on one hand, Arakawa shrugged as he took out a cigarette out of it and then lit it.

He was on the roof of the apartment complex he was living in, feeling the cold air rush against him gently as he continued to smoke, with the small orange-red light from the end of his cigarette faintly illuminating his elderly face. He stared upwards to the starry night sky thoughtfully, absent-mindedly watching the silhouette of grey smoke disappear into the air, occasionally stopping to smoke. He was in a reminiscing mood - he regularly tended to be.

The butler-slash-associate of the Organization let out a drawn-out sigh as he shook his head in regret, for the many things he had failed to do in the years long past. The hand which held his cigarette trembled for a bit, before he returned to compose himself and continued smoking as if nothing had happened. But there were always cracks in one's mental defenses, and it wasn't long before Arakawa found himself thinking about his long dead friends.

He shook his head again. What happened in the past must stay in the past, and now the man steeled his resolved and continued to keep on smoking. After his cigarette had finally been finished minutes later, he exited the roof and went back to his room, straight back to the very table where the cause of his sudden need to smoke was - an invitation to a war veteran reunion. He cringed at the sight, as horrible images of brutal warfare rushed to his mind.

It was only until the echo of a gunshot and a blood-curdling scream was in his ears that Arakawa snapped out of it.

That was enough for the butler; he fell to his knees and began to sob for the lives he had taken in World War II.

For the second time.

"Kami-sama, what have I done?"


	31. You're On Fire!

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

"Kyon!"

"What, Koizumi?"

"You're on fire!"

"I know."

_"But you're on fire!"_

_"I know._"

**_"BUT YOU'RE STILL ON FIRE!"_**

**_"I know."_ **

And that was the moment the fire realized that the surprisingly unharmed Kyon didn't give a damn about being on fire, and so it decided to extinguish itself prematurely, having no other choice of action as it had brought shame upon itself: fire in general, actually. Fires were supposed to hurt and burn, not be treated as a boring nuisance!

Kyon was later revered as a God by the whole of Japan. Koizumi, meanwhile, was nowhere to be seen.


	32. Speculation

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

It's been a week since Kyon, Taniguchi, and Kunikida decided to touch their online game accounts. A good reason for their reluctance to do so was the fact that someone seemed to be hell-bent on putting them in the spotlight on the games' communities and forums, to the point that they got emails asking them about how they did this and that or generally accusing them of hacking the games. Now they were popular in those games, but they didn't like it one bit.

Kyon figured it was Nagato... but it turned out she was innocent.

That said, the bored trio decided to hang out at the former's house, as Kyon's parents had gone off shopping with his little sister... again. The brunette was finding it strangely coincidental that everytime he had someone over to the house, they'd go off somewhere up until they went home. But eventually he decided not to think about it so much and forced himself to back to reality, where he and his friends were watching a baseball match on TV.

The Hanshin Tigers were winning, with Kunikida and Taniguchi cheering their favourite team on as Kyon looked on with mild interest. He raised his cold can of cola close to his cheek; it was a rather hot day, and even though he had opened the windows the temperature inside was still hot. Once the teenager was satisfied with the coolness, he raised his drink to his mouth and drank away to relieve his thirst. His friends did so too whilst they watched.

Now it was the end of the match, and again there were loud cheering noises; their team had won the game.

"I knew the Tigers were going to win!" Proclaimed Taniguchi as he rubbed Kunikida proudly with his elbow.

"That's funny, because you said earlier they were doomed from the start." Responded Kunikida amusedly.

"I didn't say that!" Taniguchi said with a feigned hurt expression, but he laughed. "Alright, I was wrong."

Kunikida chuckled, but noticed that Kyon was keeping silent. "Hey, Kyon, you okay over there?"

"Oh, me? I'm fine." Kyon said as he shrugged. "I was just thinking about the hacker that's been bothering us."

The duo shared glances. Taniguchi took the initiative. "Relax, man. It's not like he can keep it up forever."

Kyon shook his head immediately, before sitting straighter. "No, it's not that..."

That got the two teenagers' attention. Whenever Kyon was in a thoughtful and quiet mood like this, his observations tended to have some weight in them, not to mention having some impressive insight. So Kunikida automatically lowered the TV's volume and Taniguchi shifted in his seat to better hear Kyon's words. The brunette was mulling over his words, a finger absent-mindedly tapping the half-empty can he was holding. Then he stopped.

"Have you guys ever thought about why this hacker keeps on targeting us?" Kyon asked them.

"Because he can?" The duo began together uncertainly.

"Figured you'd say that." Kyon sighed. "I asked because I have a that feeling he's targeting us for another reason."

"Like what?" Kunikida wondered.

"That's the thing." The brunette clasped his hands. "We don't _know_ what. But we're going to try and find out."

"And how are we going to do that?" Taniguchi asked as he sipped his drink. "We aren't hackers, you know."

"That wasn't what I had in mind." Kyon muttered. "Anyways, let's try retracing our steps so far."

"What for? We're the victims here, not the offenders." Kunikida pointed out.

"I know, I know." Kyon nodded. "But I mean, have we done anything to piss off anyone lately?"

"Uhh..." The duo began again, looking at each other for support. "No?"

Kyon shook his head. "Then we need to look back deeper. Before the day the hacker started annoying us."

There was silence for a good fifteen minutes.

"I give up." Taniguchi said suddenly, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. "I can't think of anything."

"Me neither." Kunikida admitted. "Man, this is hard."

"Urgh." Kyon added. "Alright, I guess we'll never know why the hacker does what he does to us."

"Better not knowing about it than knowing about it, am I right?" Taniguchi questioned him.

"I guess you're right for once." Kyon agreed. "Remind me not to play an online game ever again."

"Same here." Kunikida included.

Taniguchi checked his watch. "Anyhow, let's call it a day; it's already getting late."

The teenagers rose, all stretching and stifling a yawn.

"I'll show you guys out of my house. See you two at school on Monday." Kyon said.

"See ya." The duo bade farewell as they left.

Somewhere, Kuyou Suoh stiffled the urge to kill them for letting her efforts go to waste.


	33. Pretty Eyes

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

Fujiwara never felt more disturbed his entire life as he watched Kuyou Suoh gaze into his eyes.

He didn't know what he'd do to get her attention when he didn't want to, and for all he cared he didn't want to know, preferring that she stopped staring into his eyes now with her seemingly soulless eyes. He was too caught up with staring back in fear of something horrible going to happen that he didn't notice he had a cold sweat; even Kyouko and Sasaki were too perturbed at the sight of the black-haired girl's bizarre action to even notice it, too.

After what seemed to be forever (even by a Time Traveller's standards), Kuyou stopped.

But then...

She grabbed the hapless teenager by the collar, and lifted him up a foot off the floor.

"Your _ are not _. Who are _ ?" She said in a dark, yet hushed tone.

"I-I'm sorry?" The blond stuttered, scared out of his wits, trying to get a sense of what she meant.

"Your _ are not _. Who are _ ?" She repeated, but it seemed her tone got deeper and more ominous.

The teenager couldn't say anything. Just as it seemed that she was going to hurt him, Kuyou's grip slackened.

And before Fujiwara could attempt to be confused, he was dropped abruptly to one side. Harshly, too.

The data entity then literally _vanished_ from sight.

Massaging his neck and calming down rapidly, the Time Traveller wondered: "What the hell was that about?!"

Kyouko could only shrug while Sasaki believed that during the time she was shocked, Kuyou left the room.

* * *

Wandering past the late afternoon's light-basked streets, Kuyou was apprehensive and had lost all sense of connection with her data overmind, the Sky Canopy Dominion. What had started as small glitches in her intricate systems now became viruses that began to alter the inner workings of her body at an alarming rate. Outwardly, she looked healthy, but inwardly... well, let's just say she wasn't feeling so great nor was she thinking straight.

Her sickness, if sickness it was, was also somehow overriding both her basic and advanced functions and attuned her into looking out for and finding the one who had the pretty eyes - the one who had sent that message four years ago. That said, it was her glitching functions that caused her to assault her ally; as for a moment her suffering systems inexplicably identified him as her secondary observation target. Though, once she realized her mistake...

She chose to leave her allies before things could 'get ugly', as humans put it when they were in situations like hers.

And so she did.

Now, since her connection to her data overmind was lost, and since her systems were working at less than efficient and acceptable rates, Kuyou was limited to just walking, to wherever her secondary observation target was living even though she didn't want to - all her fixes sent to her main processor to manually override her glitching system's sets of command queries had failed. So to summarize, that meant that she had no true control over herself now.

But on the plus side, she had retained her ability to remain outside the observation of other beings...

Not that it was a real good thing as she found herself nearly run over by cars more than once on her way.

As her feet moved on their own accord, Kuyou was considering the possible interference of other data entities associated with the IDSE, or even rarer, other data entities of her own faction. No doubt by now the SCD had considered her having 'gone rogue' through no fault of her own, and must have opted to send another to end her torment, but whether or not it did, she could merely believe in the high percentage of her actions being ignored:

From a certain point of view, she was going to initiate a series of events that would generate enough information.

Enough information that would mean for better or for worse for everyone involved.

"_. Where _ _ pretty eyes?" She murmured, and with a start she realized she was being overcome with the virus.

The urge to find him became stronger. The urge to take his eyes and gaze at them - forever - became stronger too.

"Eyes." She murmured again, and if it was possible, her face reflected her _f__ear_. She didn't want to _hurt_ him. "Eyes."

Against all her wishes, her body took another step forward.

"_ have eyes. Must _ eyes. Have. Eyes."

* * *

Sitting in front of his study table, Kyon felt a bit unnerved as he felt the hair at the back of his neck suddenly rise.

Taking off his reading glasses slowly, the teenager carefully closed his book and discreetly surveyed his room.

There was nothing out of the ordinary save for Shamisen sleeping on his pillow. He frowned for a bit at the sight of the furry feline before shaking his head and decided to get back to studying for his exams. He mulled a bit over his sudden paranoia of being watched, before shrugging it off as a side effect of being exposed to Haruhi's weirdness for far too long. As he put on his reading glasses again, he happened to glance at his mirror in passing...

And he could have sworn he had saw something dark standing in the middle of his room in the reflection.

He immediately stood up and spun around, alarmed at the fact there was an 'intruder' in his room. "Who's there?!"

Only empty space greeted him back silently. The teenager began to calm down, but yet remained on guard.

"Strange..." He whispered unsurely, before he reached for his phone. "Better call Nagato about this."

But then a hand intercepted his own. Startled, he reacted by looking at the person who the hand belonged to.

"You _ pretty eyes." Said the girl beside him. She looked familiar. But how did she get in?! "Your _ _ mine."

With wide eyes the brunette recognised her, but he was far too late. "Wait a minute, you're-"

A reluctant Kuyou Suoh used her free hand to scoop out the eyes of the trapped and now screaming Kyon.

All that everyone else in his family could hear in his room in the meanwhile was the fall and cracking of Kyon's glasses. Kyon's little sister didn't hear her older brother's cries of mercy as she idly passed by on her way to her room for her nap-time. And neither did she hear him fall to the ground whilst clutching his empty and bleeding eye sockets, still screaming. All that she could hear was her own happy humming.

Tragic, wasn't it?


	34. What's A Fourth Wall?

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

Kyon was reading a book in his room, with a bored expression on his face.

Then he looked up and stared knowingly at you, an amused smile on his lips.

"Hey there." He greeted, nodding at you curtly, before returning to his book.

* * *

Nagato was serving tea to herself, letting her systems replenish some energy even though she didn't need to.

As the liquid poured down her throat, she noticed you looking at her, then she poured full another cup of tea.

Not for herself, but for you.

"Drink." She ordered, before she took another sip of her tea.

* * *

Koizumi was flying through the Closed Space, narrowly dodging the falling fist of an angry Shinjin.

He abruptly landed on his feet on the top of a tall building, where he began charging a ball of red energy on his palm.

Just as he was about to throw it at the Shinjin with all his strength, he noticed you standing not too far away from him.

"Oh. Pardon me." He apologized to you, before he shifted his stance and threw the ball more carefully.

The Shinjin never saw what hit it, and you promptly proceeded to bro-fist the proud Esper.

* * *

Mikuru popped out of nowhere, but to be more exact she popped out of thin air. She looked relieved as she settled in.

But then, she saw you.

"Oh no!" She exclaimed, her hands covering her mouth. "Please tell me you haven't seen me time-travel!"

You nod.

She immediately faints, leaving you to wonder:

What the heck just happened?

* * *

Haruhi was talking to her cactus about her problems in life, but unfortunately the author had something else in mind.

The eccentric reality-warper immediately brightened up, a grin on her face as she turned to stare at you.

"Oh my God!" She exclaims, jumping up and down and pointing at you. "I somehow broke the fourth wall!"

"Yes, yes you have." Agreed McSlendy as his tentacles continued typing this part of the short story. "Wait, what?"

"Sweet!" Haruhi enthusiastically screamed as she pulled you in to her reality.

"Wait! That isn't supposed to happen!" Screamed the literally faceless author... avatar. "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo-"

You were never the same after the atoning author avatar saved you from her clutches.


	35. Wrong Number

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

At his office, Kyon was busily typing his fingers away on a document that he needed to pass to his boss.

His phone rang, and while he used his left hand to pick it up he continued typing with his right hand.

"This is Kyon." He said casually; he just didn't care about the call so as long as he could get his work done.

**_"Seven days."_** Responded an eerie, ominous and raspy female voice, before the line was dropped seconds later.

Stopping his typing and staring unsurely at the phone, Kyon shrugged as he put it back and got back to work...

Only for the phone to ring once more. He rolled his eyes at his third distraction of the day.

He picked it up again, only a bit irritably this time. "Hello, this is Kyon speaking. How can I help you?"

**_"... Sorry, I got the wrong number. Please ignore what I said earlier." _**Apologized the mystery caller.

"Eh... No problem." Kyon raised an eyebrow as he continued typing. "So, what is it you need help with, Miss...?"

_**"Please call me Sanako. And no, I do not need your help, Mr. Kyon. I apologize for wasting your time."** _

And at that, the line was dropped for the second time. Kyon sighed.

"Women." He muttered, before the phone, _again_, rang. "Oh, what now?!"

More than irritated already for having valuable time being wasted, he answered. "This is Kyon speaking."

_**"What was that you said?"** _Sanako asked, sounding obviously unamused on the other end.

"Huh? Oh, I asked you earlier if you needed any help, Miss Sanako." Kyon responded annoyedly, but politely.

_**"No, what you said after I apologized to you."** _She continued, her unamusement turning into dislike.

Kyon realized that she somehow heard what he said after the line was dropped, and so he remained silent.

Then he instantly put the phone down. He stared unbelievingly at it, before he went back to typing.

A week later, Kyon was found in his apartment with a massive slap mark on his cheek.

He was also dead.


	36. Hot Springs

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

In one section of a hot spring, most of the male cast of the Haruhi Suzumiya Series were relaxing in the pool, either chatting to one another idly or just enjoying the rejuvination of their bodies. But Taniguchi and Kunikida were splashing water at each other because of a light-hearted argument they had earlier just for fun, and the others were more or less watching them duking it out, jokingly making fake bets on who'd eventually win the water fight.

Kunikida won, and then Kyon and Fujiwara continued chatting about their roles in life. Koizumi was talking to an obviously inattentive and uncaring Student Council President and Computer Club President. The Tamaru 'brothers' were listening to one of Arakawa's enjoyable life stories, and they also roped in Okabe, Kyon's sensei, into listening as well. The student who 'fell in love' with Nagato was being comforted by the rest of the Computer Club. Poor guy.

In the other section of the hot spring, the female cast of the Haruhi Suzumiya Series were also relaxing in their pool. Aside from Haruhi and Sasaki glaring at each other, Nagato giving a death glare at Ryoko, and Mori trying to calm them, all was well. Kimidori and Kuyou seemed to be talking to each other non-verbally again, but in truth they were actually having a staring contest. Mikuru hung close to Kyon's cute little sister. Kyouko was talking with Tsuyura.

Then suddenly...

"Wait. Why are we in a hot spring again?" Kyon asked no-one in particular loudly as the thought crossed his mind.

Everyone stared dumbly at each other in reply, even the girls, before they all shrugged and decided to go home.

Weird.


	37. TF2 Montage Madness

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

Adjusting his shades, Kyon, as a RED Sniper, sighed as he looked through his Awper Hand's scope for a target.

_"INCOMING!" _Yelled a distant, feminine voice.

Alone in his nest in the map of 2fort, the pseudo-Australian grimaced as he caught sight of Haruhi, as a BLU Heavy, being accompanied by a scared - you guessed who - Mikuru, a BLU Medic. Judging by the number of small blue crosses floating away on the eccentric girl, she was Overhealed, and the teenager scowled as he began to aim at Mikuru's forehead. As they moved, so did his red dot; and eventually, his shot had reached full charge.

Kyon slowly steadied himself for his headshot kill. "Steady, steady..."

But the BLU Spy had other ideas.

Koizumi, absolutely out of the blue (no pun intended, if there was any), uncloaked and raised his butterfly knife...

Only to feel glass cracking against his head and feel a foul-smelling liquid cover him completely.

"JARATE?! NOOOOOOO!" He screamed reflexively right before Kyon's Bushwacka offed him. _"AHHHHHH!"_

The Esper's unmasked suited corpse flew to the wall, hit it hard, and then landed in a uncomfortable heap.

"You got blood on my knife, mate." Taunted Kyon solemnly as he doffed his hat before he refocused his attention.

Then an arrow impaled his head as he automatically screamed whilst falling to the ground.

**DUN-DUN-DUN-DUNNNN**

"One Sniper to another, mate: GIVE! UP!" Yelled Kyon's BLU counterpart at the other side of the map.

The RED Sniper swore profanities as soon as he respawned, grabbing his Huntsman from his locker...

* * *

"Spy sapping my Sen-"

Koizumi immediately backstabbed the unfortunate BLU Engineer, Nagato, with his Your Eternal Reward.

"Yippee-keyay, pardner!" The RED Spy laughed. But when he turned around to run away quickly...

"Oh... merde."

His face was then immediately cleaved into two by Tsuyura's fire axe. _"AHHH, YYYYEEEEOOOOWWWWWW."_

Then the BLU Pyro promptly air-guitared gleefully. "Mmmph Mmph Mmph Mmmph Mmmmph!"

* * *

Taniguchi, a RED Soldier, pulled out his Equalizer out of Kunikida's skull, a BLU Demoman.

As the fanfare for his domination over him ended, he said: "You were good son, real good. Maybe even the best."

His awesome post-mortem one-liner, however, was ended when Fujiwara, a BLU Scout, batted him to death.

"Ahaha! Ahaha! Ahahaha! Yeah, yeah..." He laughed evilly between tears, enjoying his latest kill far too much.

* * *

"Get behind me, doctor!" Yelled Haruhi as she fired her minigun, while Mikuru continued healing her. "Cry, babies!"

Kunikida popped out of cover and thrusted to them, showing the paper with the smiley face taped on his crotch.

"KA-BOOM!" He yelled to them enthusiastically. His teammates looked at him in disbelief; Taniguchi was amused.

While Mikuru was close to fainting, Haruhi realized what his action meant. "OH, NO!"

Then the two BLU girls were blasted into bloody, chunky pieces by the RED Demoman's hidden sticky bombs.

"Didn't you see the bloody bombs?!" Taunted the eye-patch wearing teenager as he set up more sticky bombs.

* * *

"ALERT! THE BOMB CARRIER IS CLOSE TO THE HATCH!" Screamed Kyon's little sister on the speakers fearfully.

Kyon, Koizumi, Haruhi, Mikuru, Nagato, and Tsuyura all rushed back to defend the hatch in Decoy.

* * *

"Oh, you know what'd hit the spot? Brains! They're delicious!" A zombified Fujiwara said to an uncaring Tsuyura.

"Uh-huh." The RED Pyro nodded annoyedly. "Mmph Mmph Mmmph!"

"Sweet." He chuckled, before an arrow impaled his head. _"AAHHHHHH!"_

Kyon doffed his hat while Tsuyura taunted a 'thank you' to the BLU Sniper.

* * *

"Need a Dispenser here! Need a Dispenser here! Need a Dispenser here! Need a Dispenser here!"

Nagato ignored the approaching, burning BLU Scout and decided to destroy her level 3 Dispenser.

"You have got to be kidding!" Fujiwara said in disbelief before he crumpled to the ground and died from his burns.

* * *

"Put Teleporter here!" Commanded Haruhi.

Nagato ignored her.

"Need a Teleporter here!" Yelled Kyon.

Nagato put the Teleporter right next to Kyon.

"Yeah!" Kyon cheered while Haruhi revved her minigun and aimed at him...

* * *

The fighting in 2fort stopped when everyone saw the BLU Spy Crab cross the bridge.

Koizumi was bored as heck so nobody could blame him. On his face was a derpy expression, and Taniguchi laughed.

However, an evilly giggling Tsuyura was approaching.

Everyone else then began laughing at what they were going to see soon enough.


	38. Between Locusts And A Dark Place

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

_Author's Note:_

_This short story is based on Gears of War I's Act II, though there are some inconsistencies, but hopefully they aren't that bad to begin with. Enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed typing this._

* * *

It was getting dark on one side of the planet Sera, and the SOS Brigade, a specialized COG squad led by Haruhi Suzumiya, were running through a ruined city's desolate streets to find decent sources of lights to stay under for the rest of the night for their mission. Their booted footsteps began to echo loudly as they picked up their pace with good reason; flapping sounds from all directions were getting louder, as well as a distinct chittering noise. The group, consisting of two men and three women, dared not to waste anymore time looking up to investigate the noises or making sure enemies weren't around to ambush them.

Overhead in the darkening Seran sky, the first waves of the Kryll, small bat-like beings that were easily described as 'piranhas of the air' that only attacked in the darkness, were slowly becoming hot on their trail. Koizumi, their point man, wisely lit up a flare and held it like a torch as he led their way through another street and through an empty alleyway: For the Kryll were highly sensitive to light and absolutely refused to get near any source of it. But that wouldn't deter them from trying to kill them in the least, because though they may be afraid of the light, they were hungry as hell - and the SOS Brigade damn well knew it.

They took a sharp turn into another empty alleyway, and to their relief a lit building was in sight.

"Lights!" Koizumi pointed out through tiring breaths. "Up ahead!"

"Finally!" Haruhi screeched, rushing past him. "Koizumi, throw your flare down now!"

"Yes ma'am!" The man obeyed, leaving a tiny gap of darkness between their spot and the open door.

But then the ground suddenly shook. The source of the shaking was coming from inside the building.

"Oh, come on!" Kyon yelled annoyedly as he realized what it meant. "Emergence Hole! Locusts incoming!"

"Everyone, take cover!" Mikuru screamed as she ducked behind a slab of stone, preparing herself.

Cursing, Haruhi rushed back just in time. "And they just had to come out now out of all times they could have!"

"Here they come." Nagato warned them as she took aim with her Lancer from her side of the alleyway.

As expected, the first of the Locusts arrived - the Drones - shooting their Hammerbursts at the desperate humans.

"Die, groundswalker!" One of them bellowed, before it was abruptly killed thanks to a bullet from Nagato's Lancer.

The Gears then all fired back, and the two sides were soon locked in a chaotic firefight: one that neither must lose if they wanted to live. Trails of bullets, of which both were red and yellow, frequently passed by one another. The former colour hit stone and metal, while the latter colour mostly hit flesh. As the gunfire and the screams of the dying enemy echoed throughout the area, the Kryll circled around them up high. The corpses on the enemy side were piling up, and more and more of them gathered as they were finding it too tantalising to pass up on free meat if the lights went out for a reason. Koizumi noticed them.

"We have to hurry! The flare's almost used up and the Kryll are above us!" He called out. "We have to rush them!"

"Like hell we are under that heavy fire!" Kyon snapped as he took potshots at the enemy, earning him two kills.

"It's that or we die, Kyon!" Haruhi pointed out, taking her time to reload. "We don't have much of a choice here!"

As to illustrate her point, their flare flickered for a moment, almost causing the monsters above them to scoop down.

"Well, shit!" Kyon spat as soon as he let out his held breath. "If that's the case... Cover me!"

"Huh?! Wait a minute, what are you going to-" But Mikuru never finished what she wanted to say.

Kyon leapt over his cover and madly fired into the resolute grey-skins. The humanoid monstrosities all turned their attention to the exposed soldier, incidentally causing most of them to carelessly go out of their cover just to try and kill him as well. The other Gears reacted quickly: Nagato scored more headshot kills than everyone else combined while Mikuru, Koizumi, and a surprised Haruhi finished off whatever enemy they could get their iron sights on. Kyon bravely rushed into the building as he switched to his side-arm, shooting from the hip as he did so, for his Lancer was now empty of ammunition and smoking from the barrel.

The last of the Drones were killed shortly afterwards, and the Emergence Hole closed in response.

Breathing heavily from his suicidal rush, Kyon collapsed sideways to a wall and stood against it for support. The others soon caught up with him as the flare died out. A concerned look was on both Mikuru's and Koizumi's faces, while Nagato's was emotionless and Haruhi's was livid. The man on the wall grimly smiled at them as he felt around his pockets for ammunition for reloading his weapons, but when he couldn't find any, he nonchalantly shrugged and attempted to loot the Hammerbursts from the fallen Drones, only to suddenly feel a hard smack against his cheek that staggered him and nearly made him fall over.

"Ow, what the fuck?!" He growled angrily at the offender, turning to see Haruhi. "The heck was that for, Haruhi?!"

"That was for doing a stupid move, Kyon! You could have gotten yourself killed!" She practically screeched. "You idiot!"

"So?!" Kyon hissed. "I'm not the only Gear the COG is going to miss!"

"That's not the point!" Haruhi's voice rose alarmingly. "We need you to stay alive for the mission to be a success!"

"I don't give a damn about that!" He yelled back. "If I didn't do it, we all would have been Kryll food by now!"

"But..." Haruhi started, but had nothing else to say. Actually she did, but she couldn't spit it out.

The man winced as he massaged his stinging cheek, his temper dying. "Anyways... Let's get going."

Koizumi decided it was time for the others to butt in. "Tsuyura said our objective is due west; a few clicks from here."

"But there are no available lights around the perimeter." Nagato inputted. "We, however, can make our own."

Mikuru had been scanning the darkness outside and saw nothing interesting, so she asked doubtfully: "How so?"

"We shoot the propane tanks in the area." She answered. She turned to Kyon. "Permission to do so, sir?"

He considered it. "It's a good call, Nagato, but it's going to make the lives of the Stranded here worse. They use them."

Koizumi sighed. "Unfortunately, it is the only way for us to proceed with our quest. Unless we can find more flares..."

"Enough with the flares already." Kyon grumbled. "You know they're shit, Koizumi. They only last thirty minutes."

"I know, sir, but still, it was merely a suggestion." He paused. "Oh well, I guess we'll have to make do with the tanks."

"Then it's decided." Haruhi rejoined the conversation after collecting herself. "Now let's stock up on ammo and move out!"

"Yes ma'am." They replied. Though Kyon shook his head and muttered something as he reloaded his new Hammerburst.

While the others were scavenging for ammo, Haruhi moved to one corner of the building and reported to HQ.

"Command, this is Brigadier One." Haruhi said to Tsuyura over her earpiece. "We're now close to our objective."

_"Acknowledged, Brigadier One!"_ Tsuyura replied cheerily. _"But remain on guard! Hostile activity has been detected nearby!"_

"Thanks for the heads up." Haruhi nodded. "We'll be seeing you soon, Command. Over and out."

The line was then dropped, leaving the five Gears yet again on their own.

Taking a deep breath and calming herself, Haruhi then turned to face her squad. "Everyone locked and loaded?"

The others nodded, with Kyon patting his gun.

"Then let's do this." Haruhi grinned as she kicked down the door that barred their path.

And so they began yet another step towards their long journey home.

"Die, groundswalker!" Yelled a distant Drone as it saw them.

"Oh, shut up!" Yelled an irritated Kyon back as he shot it's head off.


	39. An Older Brother's Wrath

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

"... Imouto-chan. What did those bullies do to you?"

Kyon's little sister sniffled. "They... they put me in a dark room, and... and left me there for hours."

"... Do you know where each of them lives?"

She hugged him closer. "N-no... But, my teacher does."

"... And where does your teacher live?"

"Kyon-kun... why do you want to talk to my sensei?" She sniffled again.

"... I want to talk to her about the behaviour of your classmates."

"But I don't want to get into trouble!" More sniffles. "I just wanted to be friends with them!"

"... I know, Imouto-chan. That's why I'm going to talk to her."

"You're going to make them be friendly to me?" She asked, genuinely sounding surprised.

"... Yeah. So they'll be willing to be friends with you the next time you meet with them."

"Really?" The surprise was on her face.

"... Yes."

The little girl squealed in delight, despite her tears. "Thank you, Onii-chan! You're the best!"

Kyon smiled - but for an entirely different reason altogether.

A night of cold-blooded torture was to be had by the bullies.


	40. Questionable Dialogue

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

_Author's Note:_

_I named this short story (if it is a short story) 'Questionable Dialogue' for a good reason. Now, enjoy._

* * *

"Same time next week, Kyon?" Asked a breathless Sasaki.

"Why not?" Replied the amused male.

* * *

"Mmmmmm..." Moaned a pleasantly unconscious Kyouko.

"I'll see myself out of your house, then." Quipped a smiling Kyon.

* * *

"Nyoro~" Tsuyura screamed as her nails dug into Kyon's back.

"Ow!" He screeched.

* * *

"That was... unique." Said a quiet voice beside Kyon.

"You can say that again, Nagato." The teenager responded tiredly.

* * *

"Are you hurt, Asashina-san?" Kyon asked worriedly.

"No, I'm fine, Kyon-kun. Please continue." She whimpered.

* * *

"No... just no, Koizumi." Kyon glared at the Esper, disgusted.

"I see..." The other male said glumly, and then hung his head in shame.

* * *

"You know Asakura, you aren't really that bad aside from the whole 'trying to kill me' thing." Kyon mused idly.

"Why thank you, Kyon!" The blue-haired beauty beamed. "It's all because I found a new way to kill you!"

* * *

"Please come again, valued customer." Said Kimidori Emiri cheerily.

"Oh, I will." Answered Kyon in kind.

* * *

"... You do know that I don't... you know?" Wondered an unsure Fujiwara.

"... I know." Kyon nodded solemnly, and subsequently both sighed in relief.

* * *

"... Pretty." Kuyou stared into Kyon's eyes.

"... Pretty." Kyon stared back into Kuyou's eyes.

* * *

"I hate to admit it, Kyon, but you're good." Haruhi said as she relaxed. "Really, _really_ good."

"Wow, a compliment from Haruhi." Kyon stated smugly. "That's as rare as hen's teeth."

* * *

"... We can explain." Said Taniguchi and Kunikida at once tentatively. "It's not what it looks like!"

"I don't want to know." Kyon facepalmed. "Let me rephrase: I really, _really_ don't want to know."

* * *

"Hello, Kyon~" Mori began.

"Back, kitty, back!" Kyon crossed his arms defensively. "Back, I say!"

* * *

Kyon stared at his mirror.

"_Hello_, handsome." He said, grinning to himself and running a hand over his hair.

* * *

"Onii-chan! I've come to play!" Knocked Kyon's little sister on his door.

"Go away." He muttered under his bedsheets.


	41. Fur Versus Fang

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

_Author's Notes:_

_Fun fact: This was typed on an XBOX 360 with a keyboard implement. I know, what was I thinking? This short story was also rushed; because for the last two days the moon was out brightly and I was under its influence during the time of typing. Since I'm not anymore, I thought, 'Why continue it?', so here it is. There are also inconsistencies involving how two popular cultures in this fic are being portayed, too. Tell me if you want me to change or expand it, though._

_Happy reading._

* * *

It was a cold night.

The moon was all out in its full glory, with the clouds virtually non-existant and leaving a starry sky alone in relative peace. The moonlight was serene, yet somehow morose - and the silence of the sleeping beast that was a city only amplified the effects even further. The denizens of the homes built of concrete, glass, wood and metal continued to sleep through the late hours of the evening, blissfully and wholly unaware of the chaos that was about to ensue at the school of North High.

Taniguchi's canine-like eyes snapped to attention at the re-emergence of the scent that had been haunting his nostrils since earlier today. He sniffed the air once more, doubly making sure that his senses weren't playing tricks on him again. They weren't. On confirmation of the origin of the scent, the black-haired teenager failed to suppress an ear-to-ear grin, with his eyes losing control as well. His trembling hands ball into shaking fists, and his breathing becomes irregular, almost bestial.

... 'Almost bestial' nearly hit the mark on what he really was.

An excited, if not gleeful yet muffled noise was rumbling from his throat, and instinctively, he surveys his surroundings for the umpteenth time. He crouches, putting one hand on the hard ground. His ears perk up at the tiniest of movement around him: Keeping in mind that there was no wind. His mouth becomes watery due to his hunger, and his breathing becomes hot in anticipation. His tongue is licking his lips and his undeniably sharp teeth. And his eyes narrow.

He's on the hunt. And how gratifying was it for him to be on the hunt tonight.

Tsuyura fearfully kept to the shadows inside the room of an empty classroom, leaving no track nor scent indicating her current location along the way she had tread carefully upon towards this safe haven, but she knew it wasn't enough to keep her away from her predator. The man-beasts always had a way to find their prey, and they would stop at nothing to get them no matter what the costs were. That fact was something her 'people' had taught her, and she wished she-

Her thoughts are rudely interrupted by the sudden shower of broken glass that blowed through the gaping hole near the windows. She screams as she covers herself protectively, feeling once or twice a large shard of glass cut her arms, only to feel her skin on them rushing to close her wounds painlessly. Though her ability of instant regeneration of wounds was considered a god-send, it was completely useless against a physically stronger adversary, and she too wished that-

"MUST! FEED!" Came the guttural growl of the furry thing that was standing in the midst of the rubble.

"Please!" The green-haired girl pleaded, taking a step back. "Go away, Taniguchi! I don't want to hurt you!"

"FEED!" By now, whatever distinct human features the male teenager had, they were gone. He was a monster now.

The monster then leapt at the girl, who could only give out a pained cry as her right hand's fingers and nails become longer and sharper. Taniguchi saw the transformation, but he didn't give a damn, for he was too hungry for fresh flesh to care. His jaws extend to initiate a fatal bite - too early - and the teenager found himself practically slapped by the girl. The force of that counter was strong, however, so he also found himself sent flying back outside, landing brutally on the earth.

He rolls back up on his feet, then crouching again, all at the same time unleashing one of the most maddened growls the girl three floors above him ever heard. Taniguchi ripped apart the upper clothes he was wearing, and his beyond-control eyes locks into Tsuyura's own. His voice temporarily lost the ability to form coherent words; he was growling gibberish and by the time the running girl realized he had completely lost it, she knew she had to get the hell out of the school fast.

She immediately spouts wings on her back which were reminiscent of a bat as she skidded to a stop on the roof - they were fragile-looking, but unbelievably strong. They would be more than adequate to allow her to flee to safety by flight, assuming of course if she had time to. The growling coming from Taniguchi were becoming howls of rage, causing her to nervously bite her lips and accidentally drawing out her own blood with one of her fangs. She curses, but she's about to-

"GGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRR!"

The teenager-slash-monster lands on the roof with a force akin to seven heavy weights landing on the ground, causing Tsuyura to momentarily lose her footing just as she was about to lift off. Blood-shot eyes dart after her movements; Taniguchi was waiting for the perfect moment to strike. But his prey knew what he was doing, and it wasn't only until he felt his chest being impaled by her hands that he came to the conclusion that he had took too long to act.

"I'm so sorry." That was the last thing he had ever heard before his reverting-back-to-normal corpse hit the dirt.

Falling to her knees, and watching her bloodied hands in horror, Tsuyura fought down the urge to drink blood as she cried.


	42. Life Was Just Unfair

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

_Author's Note:_

_I felt bad for typing this, but a story in my head is a story that needs to be let out. I'll leave __the mystery of how a certain someone in this short story died to your imagination, readers; just read it and weep, if you can._

* * *

"Mama?" A tentative voice called out.

A little girl holding a teddy bear stood in the doorway of her mother's dark bedroom. The woman in question had been crying as she sat on her side of the double-sized bed, holding a picture of her late husband close to her chest. A tear fell before she realised her daughter was there, looking at her concernedly. She immediately cleared her throat and wiped the wetness on her cheeks away, resolving to look as normal as she possibly could.

"Oh, I didn't see you there, my dear." Haruhi says, though she sounds hoarse.

Her daughter doesn't respond. Instead, she goes up to her and hugs her.

"... I miss Papa too, Mama." She quietly sniffles, her hug tightening.

The mother tenses at this, before that all too familiar feeling of melancholy mixed with depression rears its ugly head to face her once more. She feels her tears swell up at the corners of her eyes again, and thus she hugs her child back to comfort her and herself; despite the harsh reality they were in, that a close loved one was no more. The teddy bear is dropped to the ground, the thud only muffled over the sounds of their mourning.

"I miss your father. I miss Kyon." The widow sobs.

Life was just unfair.


	43. Monsters

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

_Author's Note:_

_Had this on my mind for a while, and now I'm glad I let this out. As for progress on the chapters of TAoK, they're doing well and most likely be done sometime in the future, because as you all know I'm a lazy and eccentric guy. Anyways, here's 'Monsters'. The creatures in this short story were deliberately left undescribed. Don't think about what they look like too much though. Now, enjoy. _

* * *

Kunikida noted that every time he paid no attention to the grotesque figures following him that only he could see, he usually ended up fine. But when those said grotesque figures actively tried to get into his line of vision (ie, near the black board, behind the backs of his classmates; generally anywhere he looked at), he usually had silent and somehow unnoticed panic attacks. But it was only the times when he was alone did he wish everything was fine.

So far, he wasn't. Which was a good thing - class was still as boring as usual and Okabe was still droning on about this period's subject. Kyon was half-asleep, Haruhi wasn't paying attention, Taniguchi was furiously writing down notes, and the rest of his classmates were also indulging in one of the three. Moments like this were something that Kunikida had prized because they made him calm, as much as calm as he could be when those things were around.

Looking down on his blank notes, his eyebrow twitched as he willed his eyes to focus on the writings made by his teacher. If only doing that was more than half as easy as ignoring the monsters, then his life would've been easier. He quietly sighed as he started to begrudgingly take a few notes, but that only made one of the monsters to unexpectedly swipe at him, with the bent tip of it's misshapen and serrated claw thinly cutting his cheek.

That was when the calm broke.

"Gah!" He screamed, jumping up to his feet suddenly, clutching his wound.

Everyone immediately turned to face him, surprised. Okabe, who was in the middle of writing, turned and raised an eyebrow at the teenager, but subtly gestured to him as if saying 'Explain yourself'. But when he saw the red that smeared the boy's cheek as he checked his palm in surprise, his nonchalance became concern. Putting down his small chalk on his table and giving the student who disrupted his lesson his full attention, he worriedly asked:

"Kunikida, what happened?"

There was a hesitant silence for a few seconds, then a sheepish Kunikida replied:

"I, uh, I accidentally scratched myself too hard, Okabe-sensei." He said nervously.

Maybe that was a bit too hard to believe, but eventually the teenager's lie had convinced Okabe to tell him to go see the nurse, and fast; his wound might get infected later if it wasn't checked out now. Surprisingly, a not-so-sleepy Kyon volunteered to bring him to the nurse (which Kunikida was glad for, as he had been meaning to talk to the guy about his problem) and then they found themselves out of the room at a brisk pace to the nurse's room.

The monsters followed them hotly, reminding the teenager of his predicament that he wanted to get out of already - also reminding him about the first experience he had trying to get away from them. He winced at the memory, but unfortunately for him the other brunette noticed. Kyon picked up his pace, which was something that he didn't want to happen. By the time they were half-way there, Kunikida decided it was time to spill his secret to the other teen.

"Hey Kyon, there's something that I've been meaning to tell you lately." He began seriously.

"Eh?!" Came the alarmed response from the guy, who incredolously looked at him. "Don't tell me that you're the-"

"Whatever you're going to say, it's not that!" Kunikida cut off sharply. "It's about-"

It was his turn to be cut off sharply when he saw the menacing mob of murderous monsters blocking their way.

"Oh. My. God." He breathed, his eyes widening at the sight in fear. "NO!"

Kunikida took a step back as the mob took a step forward. An increasingly confused Kyon glanced at the direction his friend was looking fiercely scared at, but saw nothing. The door on the classroom near them then opened to reveal an equally confused student from their year, looking at them questioningly. That, somehow, also made the other brunette even more fearful than he previously was when he caught sight of her. He stepped back again.

"What's going on?" She asked, putting her hands on her waist intimidatingly. "You two are disrupting our lesson!"

"I wish I knew." Kyon began to explain exasperatedly, but also concernedly. "Kunikida just-"

"STAY BACK!" The aforementioned teenager screamed suddenly. "I SAID STAY BACK!"

Then he abruptly ran away as fast as he could. He ran like the hungry hounds of hell were after his immortal soul.

"... What just happened?" The female student asked, aghast and shocked. "Is he, uh... Is he afraid of girls?"

"For the first question, I have no idea!" Kyon yelled at the girl as he ran after him. "For the second, he isn't!"

Then he focused on following the guy. "Kunikida! Where the hell are you going?!"

* * *

Kunikida didn't know how long did he run for nor did he know where he had ended up running to, but that didn't matter compare to the fact that he had survived long enough to shake those monsters off. Completely out of breath, he collapsed sideways to a wall in an alley and slid down up until he felt himself stop moving. Aside from his heavy breathing to regain lost air, the rest of the teenager's limbs were limp and hurting from the distance he ran.

His sweat and blood trailed off from his face as he continued to breathe in and out deeply. He ignored the vibrations and ringing coming from his phone and closed his eyes, feeling himself too weak to even continue moving, much less trying to find a place to hide for the rest of the day. Somewhere in the distance, he swore he could hear Kyon's voice calling out to him, as well as Taniguchi's and a shrill voice he wasn't familiar with. That was strange...

Finally, he let go of his consciousness and fainted.

Meanwhile, the leading monster once again gave the signal to attack.


	44. Immortality Sucks

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

The desolate desert only made Haruhi despair.

The tracks she left in the sand were gone by the time she was a meter away. The harsh winds were blowing hard and the sand was getting everywhere on her, not that she particularly cared. Her ragged clothes and unkempt hair fluttered madly, but she did not care. The sun's unforgiving heat beat hard on her, but she did not care. She smelled horrible, but she did not care. She was completely lost, but she did not care. She was alone, but she did not care.

Actually, she cared about that last part.

Having seen _millenium _pass before her eyes, the _ancient_ girl again wished that she hadn't wished for immortality.

Her friends were lost to her due to old age, obviously. Losing them one by one hurt. Koizumi was the first to die, with that smile on his old lips never leaving them as he departed this world. Kyon followed second, his last words full of exasperation and a slew of regrets that he wanted to part with. Mikuru never woke up from her peaceful sleep. Nagato died as she let out a whisper of a name that Haruhi never had the chance to say.

Haruhi didn't cry at the memories she had with them. She shrugged as she stopped to stare at the sky, the wind dying down all of a sudden. She wondered idly again if there was a Heaven; where her friends - yes, her friends - were up there waiting for her, when the time came for her to die. Ironic that she couldn't, but she got what was coming for her: After all, who actually wanted to live forever? It wasn't as good as everyone hyped it up to be.

She shakes her head sadly for the 10452344542nd time.

"Immortality sucks." She mutters disheartenedly for the 10452344543rd time.

And so she continues her 10452344544th pointless trek across the lifeless sandy planet that was once Earth.


	45. Disturbing

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

_Author's Note:_

_This short story (if it even is a short story anymore) is highly disturbing, which I have personally and seriously rated 'M'. If you do not like any sudden gory or disgusting details, then don't read this story for the sake of your sanity, please. What is wrong with me, making stories like this? Anyways... Enjoy if you want to read it anyways. Hopefully, you won't._

* * *

Tsuyura casually walked into class late.

"You're late." Okabe pointed out the obvious. "What's your excuse, Tsuyura?"

The teenager shrugged. "Oh nothing, Okabe-sensei, just this."

And then she slashed her own throat, causing a plume of blood to erupt from her wound.

Many minds were broken that day.

* * *

Nagato tugged at Koizumi's sleeve as soon as the others were gone after a Brigade meeting.

"Oh, did you need something, Yuki?" The Esper asked curiously.

**_"I WANT YOUR SOUL."_**

Koizumi wasn't sure how he knew, but the moment he heard her he was already sliced up to atom-sized pieces.

Nonetheless, he wondered... Why was he still alive?

* * *

Haruhi's back had been feeling sore since last night, and now it was pissing her off.

"Kyon!" She yells, catching the attention of the hapless teenager. "My back's killing me! Do something!"

Wordlessly he goes behind her, pulls her spine out, and as abruptly as he did so, he returns it back in place.

This only earned Haruhi a sense of relaxation. "Ooohhhh yyyeeaaahh, now that's better!"

"You're welcome." Replied the sighing teenager sarcastically, who glared at his bloody, broken fingers.

* * *

Mentally screaming, Taniguchi tried to get out of his bindings as Mikuru cut up some rotten meat in her kitchen.

Kunikida's flesh, to be more exact. Though tied up to a chair with his eyes sewn up, he knew he was in a literal hell.

"Soup, Taniguchi-kun?" Mikuru asks him sweetly as she finishes her preparations and offers him the 'food'.

The black-haired teenager was forced to shallow back the bile that rushed up to his mouth. Oh God... The smell...

The Time Traveler giggled at his childish display. She could keep this up all day long.

* * *

Sasaki continued to sharpen her knife absent-mindedly as Kyouko and Fujiwara looked on worriedly.

"Uh, Sasaki? Isn't your knife sharp enough?" The Esper asked nervously. "What are you going to cut with it?"

"Look Sasaki, we know it's none of our business, but still, what's with the knife?" Fujiwara included, frowning a bit.

The brunette smiled. "If you two want to know, please come closer so I can state my reasons with ease."

When they did, they were both stabbed to death as Kuyou Suoh idly recorded their last screaming moments.

* * *

Arakawa and Mori blinked at the casket laid on the floor of one of their Organization's buildings.

"Strange." The maid muttered. "We never ordered for a casket."

The butler grunted. "I suppose this was mistakenly sent to us, then?"

"I think so." Mori nodded. "Anyhow, let's get the postal services to pick this up. I don't like the looks of it..."

Over their conversation, they failed to hear Kyon's little sister's pleas of help to get her out of there.


	46. Kyon Does A Meme, Part Two

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

_Author's Note:_

_Well, whaddya know... Looks like I did end up making a second chapter to Kyon Does A Meme. That which I forgot about until now. Weird. This is a continuation of 'Kyon Does A Meme' in case nobody got the memo or just abruptly forgot what this short story is about (just a precaution, as it seems like I'm losing track of things) so enjoy the weirdness that's in this._

* * *

Shortly after a bit of stretching and a half-assed, hand-covered yawn, I realized it was time for my friends to leave.

Even though we've finished our video under five minutes, we actually spent quite more time going over our actions in the video, often making notes on how to improve them or even starting from scratch to make ourselves look better. For me, the entire ordeal was exhausting and annoying, mostly because of Taniguchi 'insisting' us to redo them if he ever spotted the slightest mistake, and I found myself loathing his near Haruhi-level determination.

If I were to speak for Kunikida, I'd probably say the same thing, but it looks like he enjoyed himself far too much. Heh, figures. The guy needs to have some fun once in a while, and I had to admit, I did have fun too while we were doing the meme. At the rate of how things were turning out, it looks like the rest of the night wouldn't be that bad after all - but my danger senses were tingling. It was almost as if it was telling me I was forgetting something.

Oh well. Now, I can finally get some goddamn rest. Hey me, remind myself not to let Taniguchi get away with this kind of hijink next time, I thought to myself, while I practically shoved one of them out of my front door as soon as he got his bearings back together. Guess who I shoved. He deserved it, but his good mood didn't make him mind. I said a good-bye to the slowly moving Kunikida, while I waved back at an enthusiastic and excited Taniguchi.

Once they were enveloped by the night's shadows, I let out a relieved smile, turning to go straight for my bed...

"Good evening, Kyon-kun! I'm back! How was your day?"

Oh, for God's sake. Not that I believe in God - but darn, my little sister's home.

* * *

Although I enjoyed and was thrilled at our overtly absurd activity earlier, I couldn't help but feel stupid afterwards for doing it with my normal friends, even though I could have flatly said 'No' and reinforced my will on the matter. Why won't anything go right for me just for once? Then again, I wasn't thinking right during then because my body just wanted to have rest; and my mood wasn't in the positive zone of the emotion spectrum in that time, too.

And just when I thought I could finally get some sleep, it turned out that Fate had other plans for me.

In the form of my little bratty sister, of all people. At least she was home now, and we then had a nice dinner.

But it turned out that my Imouto-chan still had some energy left after her day out with friends, and now she was focusing her efforts into making me not get a minute's worth of peace in my room. That's right: She was in my room, badgering me about this and that, all the while holding the amused and pretending-to-be-asleep Shamisen in her arms. I tried to ignore her, but I was failing rapidly due to a tiny handicap I already knew - I was still dead tired.

Eventually, I found out that I had forgotten to turn off my computer. When she turned her attention to it, she immediately went to it and played the video, curious of its content... and without my consent. What she saw was fairly amusing to her, and before I knew it in the moments I tried to get to her, she had tackled me to the floor while furiously(?) asking me why she hadn't been told that I was doing 'that' thing with my friends. I didn't explain why.

Instead, I picked her up and nonchalantly told her: "It's your bedtime, little sister. Now, time for me to tuck you in."

For some reason, I had a feeling that she was oddly pleased at this turn of events as I carried her into her room.

* * *

Once I was back in my safe haven, I turned my almost drained attention to my computer, and the task that was waiting for me on it. What task, you may ask? Well, as I forgot to mention earlier, Taniguchi, before leaving my house had told and assigned me this 'task' of uploading our video to as many video sharing websites as I could possibly can and as soon as possible. But since I was dead beat, I couldn't really be bothered but anyhow...

I still had to go and turn off my computer and return every file I had on it back to their proper places. Ack, I might as well kill two birds with one stone, but I knew I was going to regret doing the meme with them pretty soon. I give out a long, drawn-out sigh as I set about my task and sat down on my chair. I still can't believe I'm doing this. I really, really want to go to sleep already. I probably might get a talking off by my mother if she catches me now.

Uploading the video to YouTube-

Ah screw it, I'm just going upload this on Sunday night. Take that, Taniguchi!

Sleep, here I come...

* * *

Monday came sooner than expected, and I was already dreading the start of the jeers and teasing I was possibly going to endure for the rest of the school year. As for my weekend outings with the SOS Brigade, it was just the usual - go out looking for mysteries, fail to find any, which followed up with hanging out at the cafe, and then, you know the rest. Or not, seeing as Haruhi could've changed our plans at any second. Which reminded me...

She had better not seen the video. Otherwise, a certain someone's face is going to meet my fist.

And unfortunately, it wasn't Koizumi's.

For once, I woke up without my little sister acting like an alarm clock, and I then sleepily prepared for school. When my little sister barged into my room to get Shamisen, she was mildly surprised that I had gotten up on my own, but anyways she continued to be her annoying self and snatched him away from under my warm and soft bed sheets, singing that loud and annoying song she made for the male calico cat. I pity you, Shamisen. I pity you.

Once breakfast was over with, I made my way to the train station. Along the way to school, I was hoping I wouldn't meet up with anyone I knew, eg. Haruhi, Koizumi, Taniguchi or even Tsuyura, because I didn't want the meme video to be the first topic of the day that I had to talk about if any one of them brought it up. Sure, I can handle Taniguchi and Koizumi, but Haruhi and Tsuyura? They're both going to be in my nightmares later tonight if they do...

Disembarking, I tried not to think about the challenge that awaited me: the dreaded, damned hill that nearly all students of North High had to traverse to get to school, where then everyone would be tired and barely attentive of their teachers' voices, thus often resulting in poor grades or many a stern talking to. It was a common complaint amongst the student body that they still had to do PE everyday; walking up the hill was a lengthy exercise in itself.

I began my ascent, wondering how long it would take me to get to the top. My feet were sluggish and my will to move onward was weak, so I expected myself to be late, but then the image of Haruhi raging or laughing at me for not telling her that I did a video with Taniguchi and Kunikida did not make me feel so all of a sudden. With a hesitant gulp I re-doubled my efforts and within minutes reached the top, nearly out of breath. I'm just in time.

But I sigh as I take in my surroundings. The other students around me look at me curiously as I slowly made my way to my classroom, and I swear I could hear some girls giggling faintly somewhere. There were hushed voices too; like boys talking urgently about something as soon as they saw me. Whatever my fellow students were talking about, it was most likely about me, Taniguchi, and Kunikida. No doubt they saw the video I posted on YouTube.

Oh man. This is going to be a long day.

* * *

I entered my classroom slowly, looking for any sign of Kunikida, Haruhi, and Taniguchi.

There wasn't, because they weren't in.

Well, I could consider that as either a blessing from Heaven or a curse from Hell; if my thoughts proved correct, my classmates would probably question me about the video if they had the chance to. They'll either probably tease or praise me for it, and I hoped that Okabe-sensei would be here soon to prevent anyone from asking me about it - some of my classmates were eyeing me from a distance, looking like hungry hawks waiting for the moment to strike.

I didn't pay them any attention as I made my way to my chair, where oddly the same girl I saw yesterday was standing near. When she caught sight of me, she almost immediately blushed, muttered something that sounded apologetic towards me, then bolted off towards her distant chair. Okay, even for Haruhi, that was weird. I could only raise an eyebrow at my classmate as I set down my stuff and sat on my chair, waiting for the lesson to start.

She blushed even more, and at that moment I looked away to see the outside world.

That... was awkward. If it weren't for the fact that I done a meme with two of my friends against my will, I wouldn't have paid her any attention, but since I did, I wasn't so sure how to respond to her. Judging by the fact that I could feel eyes on me, I decided that it would be best for me to act like as if nothing stupid ever happened. I guess I can do that - I mean, haven't I endured worse? The memory of a truly human Nagato came into mind.

And not a moment too soon, Okabe-sensei entered, looking as tired as I am.

But when he looked at my direction, he gave some sort of amused smile and then started the class, prompting our new class representative, Goto, to do his job. It's been a while since Ryoko Asakura 'moved to Canada', and I for one was glad to see the last of her, since I was the only one in my class who knew about the dark truth about the popular girl. While everyone saw her as a well-respected class representative, I saw her as a would-be killer.

The class was now in session, and finally I can doze off without care for my education...

"Sorry we're late, Okabe-sensei!"

Great; Haruhi, Taniguchi and Kunikida were here, late, and all sweaty from possibly running. But seeing them together was a bit weird. It wasn't everyday you saw two of your friends entering late with a girl you would do anything to get away from, and the effect was made even more surprising because it didn't make anyone else's heads turn to look at them. Heck, even my homeroom teacher didn't bat an eyelid at them or act confused!

Must be Haruhi's subconscious ability to alter reality at work again.

"Apology accepted, you three. Now, get to your seats and take out your homework." My sensei nodded.

I tried my best not to make eye contact with them as I did what Okabe told them to do.

* * *

After my morning classes ended, I barely managed to escape my classroom and the onslaught of questions everyone would've asked me. It was break time, and strangely, Taniguchi and Kunikida were both tagging along with me to wherever place I wanted to eat my bento at. They looked nervous, scared even, but I decided not to ask what happened to them until we found a good place to stay away from everyone. Then I'll get my answers.

As for Haruhi, she miraculously didn't bother me. Thank goodness... but I was suspicious of her...

We found ourselves in the place where usually Koizumi and I discuss things pertaining to Haruhi, and after dusting off a couple of leaves on my usual spot I sat down and so did my two other friends, who also had their bentos with them. Opening up mine and beginning to eat, I couldn't help notice that they hadn't opened up theirs yet. They were eyeing their surroundings, as if expecting someone to jump out of the bushes, and at this point I asked:

"Guys? What's wrong?"

Taniguchi then looked uncomfortable, frowning at me worriedly. "Kyon, we have a problem. A big problem."

I pulled on a mildly annoyed look. I expected this would happen. "This has something to do with the video, right?"

"Yes, but it's worse than you think it is." Kunikida butted in. "We have stalkers now."

Wait, what?

"We're serious, Kyon. Ever since you posted the video, things have been... scary."

Okay... This was worrisome. People stalking Taniguchi and Kunikida? While I felt that my pervy friend had this coming, I felt that Kunikida didn't, and I realized that I should've stopped Taniguchi when I still had the chance. They saw the video in a different light because of what happened... and I did too. Actually, now that I've re-thought about the consequences of posting that video in the first place, this was something we should have seen coming.

_"Ahem."_

That was something we didn't see coming, though. Both my friends jumped up, genuinely scared out of their wits.

Someone not too far away then cleared his throat, and I immediately turn my head to face the unexpected intruder of our tense conversation about a situation on our hands. He wore a uniform, but I recognized his face, and now I was sure as Hell that I know who this guy is: Because how could you ever forget an irritating, almost always smiling jackass who'd like to get on your nerves and always wants to keep invading your personal space everyday?

"Hello. I was just passing by and I couldn't help but overhear you, so I decided drop in. Is it alright if I...?"

It seemed rude for my two others friends to refuse Koizumi's request, and it falled on me to agree by nodding.

The brunette smiled a bit at my response, and then took a seat right beside Kunikida. The aforementioned teen looked mildly uncomfortable due to him sitting so close, but once he realized that Koizumi was here with us for another entirely different purpose like what I thought so, he calmed down quickly and so did Taniguchi, but my black-haired friend still had his doubts about the guy. Paranoid much, buddy? It's okay. I'm feeling the same way.

"So..." He began calculatingly. "How did your stalker problem come to be?"

"What about it, Koizumi?" I snapped, already annoyed by him. "And don't act dumb, I know you've seen it already."

Taniguchi and Kunikida stayed silent, watching us both. They knew what I was going on about, so that was a plus.

"Oh. But, er... seen what, exactly?"

The bell suddenly rings, signalling that our break was finally over and thankfully sparing me from continuing my shocked and scattered thoughts at what I've heard. The next few seconds later were a blur as I began wolfing down what was left of my food and so were everyone else, Koizumi included. Packing up our stuff and heading back to our respective classrooms (although we were reluctant to), I went back to my seat, being watched by everyone.

_Cree-py_. But at least Haruhi didn't ca-

Oh, wait.

She _did._

* * *

I genuinely feared for my life the moment class had ended, too afraid to even turn around to glance at Haruhi. Whether or not if she wanted to murder me for doing something with my friends behind her back even if she didn't know about it (I think she made it her personal mission to annoy me to death), I didn't want to know, and so I took my sweet time arranging and packing up my stuff in my school bag. My actions only delayed the inevitable, though.

"Kyon. Once you're done with your bag, head straight to the club room! If you don't, there'll be a penalty for you!"

I wince, but shrug in response. Haruhi acknowledges it, then goes off... to wherever she wanted to go. There's no telling what's going on in that head of hers, but every now and then there's a slight hint of things to come that she planned for me ahead. But this time, there wasn't, and I found myself wondering why when I suddenly remembered that I should get going... before two familiar figures approached me and uncomfortably cleared their throats.

Taniguchi and Kunikida. "Oh hello, you two. Do you guys need something?"

"Kyon, we need you to take that video down, ASAP!" Kunikida was the first to say. "It's really getting out of hand!"

Taniguchi, strangely, then fell to his knees and grabbed the edges of my shirt. "Please, man! We're begging you!"

Eh?!

Then I saw what drove them to desperation. A horde of fangirls were blocking the way out of the classroom.

I instantly gulped. Then, everything went suddenly dark.


	47. Modelling Mayhem

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

_Author's Note:_

_Another story that I made that I also forgot about. I think I made this around the time I started TAoK, and I did some tweaking to remake this into a short story (it was supposed to be a stand-alone fic) so here it goes for your reading pleasure. Enjoy._

* * *

My life was rough now, even by Haruhi's standards.

It wasn't rough because things were difficult, nor was it rough because Haruhi made me do something I didn't like; rather, it was rough for me because Haruhi signed me up for work at a modelling business that loved to harass me nearly as much as she does every single day, as they said I had the perfect looks for the job. Not that I considered myself handsome (I really don't), but anyways, I suppose you're wondering how I got into such a situation like this.

Simple - Koizumi.

It was because of that Esper that resulted in me being in this line of work. After another round of chess with him back then he had droned on and on about a job opening he heard about somewhere, saying that it was a high-paying one as well and only good-looking people were accepted. Normally, I wouldn't listen to the guy and whatever he wanted to say to me, but today he seemed to be relaxed and not as stressed when he should be when Haruhi was, so I did so and asked him about it, unknowing of the consequences that were to happen.

Apparently, Haruhi overheard our idle chatter. Since I wasn't paying any attention to her, she must have surfed the web for the job opening she had heard Koizumi mention during the time we were talking to each other. Because after a few minutes later she gave a excited squeal and was acting like she had seen the best thing in her life, only that it wasn't enough for her. I paused in listening to Koizumi, glancing at Haruhi and wondering what happened.

That was when it hit me.

A high-paying job that only good-looking people were accepted... Koizumi was talking about a modelling job, and I could tell that Haruhi had got a hair-brained scheme in mind for everyone from our conversation. If it wasn't for the completely innocent and confused yet slightly surprised look on my fellow male club member's face when he turned to look at our Brigade leader, I would have punched him there and then, but I guessed he didn't see this coming.

Neither did I.

"I've got it!" Haruhi said, standing up energetically from her chair. "I know what to do for tomorrow!"

She said those words a week ago. Since then, my life has become a living hell.

Although the modelling business earned me and the SOS Brigade plenty of profit for our crazy-as-hell activities (something that Haruhi suddenly was _grateful_(!?) for), I hated the limelight, the rigorous schedule, and the amount of make-up that people had to apply on me sometimes. And the fact that I was put into seductive poses or forced to wear seductive clothes in several shots. And that I had to deal with the waves of more than annoying fangirls that wanted to get into my pants every now and then, and finally, that my private life had become public.

My parents were **NOT** happy about this. My little sister, on the other hand... I'd rather not talk about it, please.

For some heck of a reason after all that, I was now popular amongst the masses of Japan. But I wasn't happy - if you were thrusted into my situation without your consent, would you be? Instead, I was angry, but my anger was like a volcano waiting to erupt - any day now I'd potentially snap and kill someone for relieve myself of the stress, and more than likely it would be Koizumi first. He was the one who unintentionally got me to my predicament in the first place, after all. Followed up closely would be none other than Haruhi, that nasty slave-driver of a-

"Kyon! Hurry up and get your ass out of that chair! Picture taking's in five minutes!" She barks from the door.

Damn it. I guess I'd have to put killing them out of my schedule for another time. Back to modelling mayhem for me.

...

I hate my life.


	48. Of Assassins, Bandits, And Twists

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

_Author's Note:_

_Why can't I concentrate on TAoK? And why did this short story invade my mind? Also, this may or may not make any sense, I think I'm losing it and I think I've been reading into assassinations too much lately. Ah well, one author's madness is another author's... ah, screw it. Seriously, what the fuck did I type? Just read the damn story, make as much sense out of it if you can, and then enjoy it._

* * *

An arrow flew straight to the back of a unsuspecting bandit's head, immediately killing him. Another bandit, with understandable alarm, ran to the body to investigate and find clues to the killer's whereabouts. It was a foolish move however, as then his life was taken next. Arrow embedded deep in his forehead, he fell in a heap.

A hooded Koizumi watched his handiwork with mild approval and carefully approached the bodies and then dragged them out of sight, pulling the arrows out and cleaning them after he did so. Only the smell of blood remained on the spot where they died, but his actions were enough for his mission; to destroy the small, yet pesky bandit group that had raided the fields and villages of his nation's King, Kyon, on orders of Fujiwara, his contractor. Stuffing the corpse behind some chairs (the bandits were holed up in the ruins of a big church), the assassin sneaked onwards.

Up ahead, his ears picked up the distant chatter of a couple of bandits. Keeping close to the shadows, he listened.

_"I cannot believe that our leader made us set base here, Kunikida." _One of them complained. _"It is very unwise."_

_"You got that right, Arakawa." _The other man agreed. _"But the boss got us this far. What's there to be worried about?"_

Suddenly, there were sounds of scurrying, and the men gasped and drew out their weapons, a sword and an axe.

Rats frantically ran past the men and nearly made the assassin lose his cover as they passed by him, but at the last moment they moved elsewhere and into the shadows opposite the man. There came a sigh of relief from one of the bandits, before the sounds of them sheathing their weapons echoed in the eerily dark corridor. Then, another sigh.

_"Urgh, rats." _Kunikida said with distaste. _"Anyways, let's go back to the others already."_

Koizumi chose that moment to strike. Running at the surprised men who reacted to his appearance too late, he leapt at them and drew out his knives. In mid-air, he spun around as he got closer, the tips of his weapons slashing across their exposed throats. Their blood splattered across their surroundings as they both dropped dead instantly.

Landing gracefully and silently (somewhat) he then bent over to clean his weapons with the fabrics of his fallen targets, and afterwards proceeded onwards to his goal. He didn't have a reason to hide their bodies; for they were already in darkness and the torch that they had been using had been doused by the skilled contract killer.

Eventually, he found a door, but to make sure the coast behind it was clear, he put his ear on the keyhole.

* * *

_"Damn it, man! How long would we have to keep on waiting in here?!"_

_"As long as it takes. You have no idea why I have to do this."_

_"I don't care! We have to get out of here before our enemy's men will find and kill us!"_

_"Would you just believe in me, Taniguchi, like how the others are believing in me? When have I ever failed you all?"_

_"Never, but that's beside the point! If we don't move out of here now, we're all done for!"_

_"I know that. But please, just trust me when I say I have to do this."_

_"Fine. But if we get captured instead of killed, I'm going to gut you once we get into prison. Deal?"_

_"It's a deal. Now calm down and get back to your post."_

* * *

The door burst then open, and through it a foul-mooded black-haired man strode, cursing under his breath.

He was completely unaware that he had passed under the assassin, who was clinging to the ceiling.

Walking in the darkness, he failed to see corpses of his friends.

Koizumi then silently dropped down from his position and entered the room, quietly closing the door behind him.

* * *

The bandit leader was lounging on a chair directly in front of a blazing fire. He was still wearing his set of heavy but sturdy plate armor, including his helmet which had a horizontal slit for vision on it. With his greatsword beside him, he continued to stare at the dancing colours of the fire thoughtfully, trying to make sense of his next moves. But something felt wrong, out of place. He wasn't alone. One look at the wall near the fireplace, and he could see a shadow creeping close to his own shadow. It didn't belong to anyone under his command, judging from the shape.

So that meant...

He grabbed his weapon and spun it around fiercely as quickly as he could. Koizumi barely stiffled a cry of surprise as he dodged under it. The next few moments were hectic as the assassin and the bandit leader danced around each other's deadly attacks, culminating in the room being totally destroyed and the fire spreading throughout the ruins.

* * *

At last, the fighting duo found themselves in front of the ruined church's altar as everything burned around them.

"Assassin! Who do you work for and why?" Called out the cautious plate-clad warrior during a lull of their battle.

Koizumi kept silent, but regarded his enemy all the same; not to be underestimated or be overestimated.

"The silent type, eh?" Continued the warrior. "I have dealt with your kind before, so I know you work for Fujiwara."

Now that surprised the assassin. But still he kept silent and became more wary of him instead.

"Prefer to listen? Fine. Then, listen to me very carefully: You are meddling in affairs you do not understand."

They slowly circled each other as pieces of the burning ceiling began to fall down around them.

"Have you ever thought about why your contractor hired you to kill me?" His enemy asked him carefully.

"You are a threat to the Kingdom." Koizumi responded curtly. "So you must be put down. It is as such."

"Is that what you believe?" The warrior continued. "Then you are blind to the power struggles of this land."

"Power struggles?" Echoed the assassin as he looked for an opening in his enemy's defense, ignoring the smoke.

"Yes. Many have been saying that the King is not fit to rule - despite his benelovence and wisdom - and that his Chief Royal Advisor Fujiwara is." The warrior began, keeping a tight reign over his movements as some small rocks landed on his shoulder. "I raided the towns under his territory to further prove his inability to rule as King."

His eyes narrowed. "But as you may or may not know, I am not a common brigand intent on depriving the people of their homes, their belongings, their livelihood, and their lives. I have raided them time and time again for another purpose, a purpose which you will be privy to, if I may have your consent."

A large chunk of rock fell behind him as he finished, but the warrior didn't notice, or, he didn't care. "Care to listen?"

Koizumi gave a non-committal grunt, but didn't move an inch. His knives glistened in the orange-red light.

"I see..." Said the bandit leader, disappointed. "Shame. I figured you were an honorable man. I was wrong then."

At that, he shifted himself into a defensive stance, heaving his greatsword close. Koizumi poised to attack.

"If that is the case... Hit me with your best shot, assassin!" The man yelled bravely.

Koizumi leapt at the man yet again, a killing intent behind his cold eyes.

And then they were both gravely wounded. Their weapons hit the floor faster than they had did.

And to make things worse, the burning ceiling decided to cave in at that very moment.

* * *

Clutching his bleeding wound, the assassin groaned as he slowly crawled away from the rubble he had clawed himself out of. The bandit leader was not too far away, also having been able to claw and crawl himself away from certain death. His helmet was dented, nearly inhospitable to wear, and after getting himself steady the warrior took it off and threw it away into the ashes. It was then when Koizumi recognized his enemy's regal face...

"King Kyon?!" He spluttered in horror.

"The very same." Laughed Kyon weakly as blood oozed from his mouth. "Oh, how the mighty have fallen."

Though an assassin, Koizumi was a loyal man to his nation and King and thus came to his aid, despite his wounds.

"Ha. Ha." Chuckled Kyon as Koizumi caught him before he fell. "Ow. _Ow._ Ugh. I suppose an explanation is in order."

"Say no more, my King!" Hushed Koizumi as he frantically searched his pockets for some first aid.

"You're too late to help me. The poison that you dipped your knives in has taken effect. And don't ask how I knew."

"NO!" Koizumi screamed. "Oh, my King! What can I do to redeem myself of my sin?!"

Kyon's face was losing colour and the King looked at his killer with a quarter of amusement, a quarter of regret, and a half of despair. He tensed before he suddenly groaned and clutched his wounds on his abdomen tighter, his blood refusing to stop oozing out. Despite the excruciating pain he was going through, he looked back at Koizumi, trying to communicate to him, but then came a look on his face that signalled he knew his time was running short.

"Inside... chestplate... there... a letter..." He muttered, his hand grabbing Koizumi's robe close. "Give... give it to..."

The King abruptly died, and with him his last ever orders to a servant of his Kingdom.

"No..." Koizumi whispered in shock.

So that was the tale of how an assassin, Koizumi, brought the end of an era in his own nation.

And this tale was the beginning of how a tyrant, Fujiwara, rose to power over said nation through deceit.


	49. Nagato

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

_Author's Note:_

_Guess who or what I'm referencing here._

* * *

"Hey, Nagato?"

"Yes?"

"Do you feel like we're characters of a really creepy indie game that's set in an art gallery?"

"No."

"Ah, I thought as much. I'm sorry to ask."

"It is fine."

"... But I like the rose you're carrying with you. It symbolizes your bravery despite the loss of your powers."

"Thank you. And, your blue rose symbolizes your wisdom that has saved us from many a deathly fate."

"T-thanks, Nagato."

And so, Kyon and Nagato continued to walk through the darkened art corridor, hand in hand, holding their roses.

Meanwhile, Ryoko Asakura awaited them with her knife...


	50. Cursed Books And Aftermaths

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

_Author's Note:_

_I... have a morbid imagination. What the heck?_

* * *

_Imagine a sea of blood that stretches as far as you can see. Now, imagine yourself standing on a small island made out of the flesh of both animals and humans in that sea. Imagine their bones, crushed until they were perfectly fine in texture, making up the sand that the foul-smelling blood is washing away eternally exactly the same an ordinary wave is. _

_Now imagine yourself being on the brink between life and death driven to near-madness and desperation because of lack of food and drink, and you are now on the last of your strength. From that point, you have two choices to pick if you wish to survive in the hellish environment you are trapped in. There are no means of escaping your fate, so you must choose. _

_Would you drink the blood to satiate your thirst and eat the flesh to fill your belly? Or would you do neither?_

* * *

Kyon stared blankly at the book he had read, and without much of a second thought he threw it towards a random direction in his room, wholly repulsed and disgusted by the reading material he borrowed from the local library. Screw paying library fines for damages to it; the book ought to be destroyed and forgotten, Kyon thought angrily.

Deciding that his mind couldn't take more of the details, he went to bed and tried to dream happy dreams.

The damned book, meanwhile, vanished...

* * *

_You are standing atop the corpses of your hated foes, feeling exhilarated over your triumph. As you descend from the hill, your exhilaration leaves you. You don't mind, but the more you descend the more pronounced the loss becomes. Finally, you reach the bottom and you see your friends cheering at you for your well-deserved victory over the enemy._

_However, the lack of exhiliration, or, the lack of satisfaction to be precise, makes you consider taking their lives as well, for you know you can always make new friends, assuming of course you aren't well known for your murders of them. You realize the possibilities, but you also realize what you have become. You slow down to a pace, and your friends worry._

_Your hands twitch, and you find yourself eager. Should you kill your friends? Or should you bottle it in, for the best?_

* * *

Koizumi stopped midway in drinking his tea when he saw this segment of the book he was reading. His heart skipped a beat; for the book had made a parallel to his very being. As an Esper, his job was to destroy the Shinjins that dotted the Closed Spaces of Haruhi Suzumiya - but not to enjoy it far too much. Until recently, of course.

His eyes widened, and the adrenaline rush that he had grown accustomed to returned to tempt and taunt him into action. Tempt, because he now loved to destroy the Shinjins with the might of all his Esper powers, and taunt, because outside the Closed Space he was nothing short of normal like his friend Kyon. He found it hard to breathe.

Everything around him seemed to slow down, but he was exempted from the effect. He was excited. And not in a good way. Time to secretly change Haruhi Suzumiya's mood to create another Closed Space. Many wise people had said that power corrupts, but for Koizumi, power was already in his nature. Who couldn't enjoy having abilities?

Too caught up in enjoying himself, the brunette failed to notice the book disappearing into thin air...

* * *

_Your body is frail and old, but yet you seek the most beatiful women in the world despite your black heart and your horrendous looks. Your eyes know no decency or respect, and your hands are wild for action. But there is a twist; without the aid of another, you are unable to move freely - for you are wheel-chair bound and thus you require a handler. A friend._

_Unfortunately, your friend does not share your views, and in contrast, does not seek women out of lust for them. He is virtous. This puts you at odds with him, and leaves you in excruciating agony, for a man such as perverted as yourself will not be granted what you desire the most: Sex. You will be tortured like this until you die, and there is no reprieve._

_There. Is. No. Reprieve._

* * *

Spitting his soda out in surprise and making a mess on his table, Taniguchi looked at the book's contents in following disbelief. Just to make sure he wasn't imagining things, he rubbed his eyes quickly, then returned to reading it again in succession. Once he finished poring over it, he again stared in disbelief, sinking into his chair.

"The heck?" Was all what he could say following the odd text's aftermath.

Okay, he had to admit, that was weird and so out of freaking place. One moment ago, he was reading a gripping crime novel, and just about the protagonist was about to uncover the antagonist's master plan, then this came up. The paragraphs' writing style was different from the writer's... So how did this get past the publishers? Unless...

Frantically, Taniguchi stood up and turned back to the first page of the book, and found another surprise.

The writer's signature.

"Signed?!" He exclaimed in shock. "Wait, how is that possible?! I didn't ask for a signature! Or a different copy!"

The black-haired teen immediately turned back to the page he had read, but to his (again) surprise, it was gone. His book was back to normal. The teen blinked and fell back to his chair, nearly tipping over to the floor. But the disturbing subtle message was sent to him, somehow, and Taniguchi swore to never be perverted ever again.

As for the book, the teenager forgot where he put it afterwards...

* * *

"... and that's why I changed for good." Taniguchi finished, ending his tale about a certain event in his life.

"Wow, Taniguchi. So that's what'll take for you to change." Kyon quipped, but then frowned. "But about the book..."

"Eh? What about it?" The former pervert wondered thoughtfully as some pretty girls passed by the duo, eyeing him.

The bell rang, and Kyon grimaced before he sighed. "Ah, I'll ask you about it later. Let's just get back to class."

"Right-o." The black-haired teen chuckled. "Oh yeah, about the notes I've been asking you for..."

"I said it once and I'll say it again: Kunikida's got them. Get them from him yourself."

Taniguchi sulked, but Lady Luck was on his side as a female classmate then approached and offered him her notes.

* * *

"Kyon, a moment please?" Koizumi asked as he stopped a leaving Kyon in his tracks.

"Oh, what now?" Kyon answered annoyedly. "Make it quick, Koizumi. I have a book to return."

"It's about Suzumiya-san. She will be having a change in mood starting next week." The Esper whispered.

"Say what?" Kyon replied in alarm. Changes in Haruhi's mood meant problems for him. "Why? What happened?"

"... Let's just say that something came up." Koizumi said apologetically. "I'm sorry, but that's all that I know."

Eyebrow twitching, Kyon understandably grabbed the front of Koizumi's shirt. "You better not be the cause."

"I swear, I am not." Koizumi lied, doing his best not to linger his gaze on the book Kyon carried in his palm.

Half-satisfied with his response, Kyon irritatedly left the shaken Esper, who felt a pang of guilt for his actions.

* * *

"I'm sorry, but you must be mistaken. We don't have a book by that name, and if we did, nobody ever borrowed it."

The library receptionists apologized profusely to Kyon while the latter stared at them both in surprised disbelief.

"But I borrowed this book only yesterday! Ask the other receptionist!" Kyon said, his voice an angry whisper.

"What other receptionist?"

That was when Kyon was finally convinced that the book he had was cursed, and then he rushed home to burn it.


	51. Alternate Disappearance

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

_Author's Note:_

_Re-watched Disappearance/Vanishment recently, and a certain early scene stuck to my head... and I decided to do something about it. Here goes._

* * *

"Sakanaka. Pinch me."

"Uhm, why, Haruhi?"

"Just do it, damn it!"

The mildly discomforted girl complied, and a few seconds later, Haruhi Suzumiya realized that something was wrong.

She wasn't dreaming. She was in reality.

And nobody knew who Kyon was.


	52. Musical Pyromania

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

_Author's Note:_

_Ah, music. It is inspiring. So is fire._

* * *

Fujiwara crushed his cigarette on the bark of the elderly tree in front of him, and as he turned away he whistled a tune whilst the jaw-dropping sight behind him continued to glow brightly. But then, a deep, reverberating sound - a boom - echoed throughout the air, causing the blond to stop abruptly in his tracks and deeply reconsider re-watching the relatively (in terms of his personal opinion) amusing and amazing spectacle so far away behind him.

A spectacle that he caused. A spectacle so wide, so attention-grabbing that everyone for miles around saw it.

The city of Nishinomiya continued to burn madly, with the sounds of sirens blaring everywhere in the city being drowned away by massive explosions happening here and there, which were also being drowned away by even more massive explosions. The trails of smoke that were rising over it's buildings became grey silhouettes in the night sky, which was tinted a slight orange from it's deep purple due to the fires that dotted the area beneath it.

The Time Traveller smiled at his distant handiwork, pleased that his hard work had paid off without much of a problem. The fire bombs going off everywhere in the city weren't randomly exploding though; they exploded in a manner similar to an orchestra's ongoing performance at the commands of it's talented conductor - to the tune of a certain orchestral performance that had been stuck in Fujiwara's mind ever since he entered this time-period's Japan.

"Wood Carving Partita" by Michuru Yamane certainly is a masterpiece, he thought, as he pretend-conducted the chaos.


	53. You Ruined Everything

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

_Author's Note:_

_Felt a bit depressed and I decided to share a song fic to you guys. Now I know I'm that bad. Eh, enjoy anyways. Song's called 'You Ruined Everything' by Jonathan Coulton - A pretty swell guy. You guys should listen to his songs. They're kind of... weird and catchy, but awesome nonetheless anyways. Note that this song was made by Mr. Coulton for first time-parents interacting with their children... but the interpretations of the song by others can go a long way. Here goes._

* * *

_"Surprise, Haruhi."_

_"Kyon!?"_

_The brunette was holding a guitar, an amused smile on his lips as his eyes locked on to hers._

_"What's with the guitar?! And why did you tell me to meet you here in the clubroom?!"_

_"Oh, no reason at all."_

_"Idiot! Don't mess with me! Now tell me what are you going to do and why?!"_

_"I'm going to sing a song for you. Because I want to."_

_Silence._

_"D-Did I hear that right?"_

_"Yes, yes you did."_

_Haruhi blushed, but couldn't take her eyes off him. Kyon's smile grew wider._

_"Shall I begin?"_

_"Oh, uh, sure..."_

_The teenager cleared his throat, and began to play the guitar..._

_I was fine_  
_I pulled myself together_  
_Just in time_  
_To throw myself away_  
_Once my perfect world was gone I knew_  
_You ruined everything_  
_In the nicest way_

_You should know_  
_How great things were before you_  
_Even so_  
_They're better still today_  
_I can't think of who I was before_  
_You ruined everything_  
_In the nicest way_

_Bumps in the road remind us_  
_The worst of the best behind us_  
_Only good things will find us_  
_Me and you_

_Days will be clear and sunny_  
_We're gonna need more money_  
_Baby you know it's funny_  
_All those stories_  
_Coming true_

_Despite my better efforts_  
_It's all for you_  
_The worst kind of cliché_  
_I'll be with you till the day you leave_  
_You ruined everything_  
_In the nicest way_

_Haruhi blushed even more, but no longer did she feel nervous. She felt... happy?_

_"K-Kyon, that was..."_

_"There's no need for you to say anything, Haruhi."_

_"Kyon..."_

_And then the two kissed, their hands interlocked as the guitar lay forgotten on the floor..._

* * *

"IT WAS ONLY A DREAM! IT WAS ONLY A DREAM! IT WAS ONLY A DREAM!" Screamed Kyon fearfully as splashed his face repeatedly with cold water.

Elsewhere in night-time Nishinomiya...

"Damn it, it was just a dream!" Yelled Haruhi angrily into her pillow.


	54. Digging Up The Dead

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

_Author's Note:_

_I'm sorry about slow progress, but I just can't concentrate on anything else. So many stories in my head, so little time. They all want out, and I can't help but submit to them. And here goes "Digging Up The Dead"._

* * *

Kyon and Koizumi stood in the middle of a lonely graveyard.

"Tell me again, Koizumi... Why are we going to dig up the recently buried?"

"Suzumiya-san wished for genuine human bodies to dissect and to experiment on, Kyon."

"And why does she want to dissect and experiment on bodies?"

"She was inspired to do so after reading H. P. Lovecraft's Re-Animator."

"... Fuck."

"It's not your fault that she followed you to the library while you were taking Nagato there, you know."

"I know, I know."

"Anyhow, on the plus side, the bodies should keep her interested for months."

"On the other hand, she's not a doctor, and what we're about to do is illegal and not to mention morally wrong."

"So I've noticed. But I, for one, am going to do this out of necessity. For if we do not comply to her wishes..."

"The world will end and be recreated. Man, sometimes I wish our lives weren't this complicated. Or frustrating."

"I concur. It is very tiring to deal with Shinjins and Suzumiya-san's whims. And, oh, let's work. We're wasting time."

And so they began with their digging, eventually getting a body out of a coffin; they placed it carefully in their van.


	55. The Effects Of Exercise

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

_Author's Note:_

_Funny how much a guy can type and publish within the span of several minutes/hours in a day. Also, the effects of exercise do not happen instantly as shown in this short story; but Haruhi made it to, for weirdness' sake. Now enjoy._

* * *

A growl later, Kyon was finally pressed into submitting to Haruhi's request.

But he couldn't help but ask: "Do I really have to?"

"Of course! Now move it Kyon, or there's going to be an even worse penalty in store for you!" Haruhi nods.

Sighing, the poor guy got on his bike and inspected the handlebars.

"So, I just wander around the city on my bike?" He asks uncaringly, narrowing his eye at the grips.

"Weren't you listening?! Yes! And you'll keep at it until night-time!" Haruhi screeches indignantly.

Kyon looked up in surprise. "Until night-time?!"

"YES! NOW MOVE IT OR YOU'LL GET A PENALTY!" She practically screams.

The teenager did not need to be told a third time. "I'm off, I'm off!"

* * *

"Crap... I'm beat." Kyon panted out as he returned.

"Finally, you're back! And you're late, so you get a penalty!" Haruhi exclaims giddily. Kyon rolls his eyes.

"Before I suffer this new penalty, oh glorious leader, why did I have to ride my bike around the city earlier?"

"So I can do this!"

And then Haruhi ripped his shirt into two, revealing his toned abs.

"What the hell, Haruhi?!" Came the expected response. "Have you no shame?!"

"Pretty much, yeah!" She says as she licks her lips and prepares her whipped cream.

* * *

From a distance, the other SOS Brigade watched the chaos ensuing ahead of them.

_"Oh damn, look at them abs."_ Thought Koizumi and Mikuru lustfully as they stared at Kyon simultaneously.

"Unique." Muttered Nagato as she masterfully appraised Kyon's physique.


	56. Dealing With An Urban Legend

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

_Author's Note:_

_Hehe, I could not just pass this up._

* * *

"Am I beautiful?" Asked the medical mask wearing woman who stopped Koizumi in his tracks on his way home.

"Why, yes, you are." He replied honestly, but couldn't help but feel suspicious of her. Something about her was off.

Then the woman tore her medical mask off immediately, revealing her horrific slit-like mouth.

She was a Kuchisake-onna.

"How about now?" She asks.

A surprised Koizumi then did what he did best: talk using very complex vocabulary - and not get to the point.

Minutes later, a smug Koizumi continued on his way home as the woman slept soundly on her feet.


	57. Grudges

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

_Author's Note:_

_I'm bored. So here goes 'Grudges'. Based on the Grudge Series. Enjoy._

* * *

"Haruhi, we should stop. Right now."

"No way, Kyon! We've travelled this far to Tokyo to visit where the Saeki family lived!"

"Haven't you been paying attention to what the locals said?! That house is cursed!"

"I don't care! And besides, I want to know the truth behind the mystery of their deaths!"

"There's no mystery about their deaths, Haruhi! The husband murdered his family and committed suicide! That's all!"

"But that's what the newspaper article we looked up said! I have a feeling there's more to it than that!"

"Haruhi, wait!"

And so, Haruhi angrily stomped away, ending the argument. Kyon was left alone with a headache to deal with.

"Damn it, that girl..." He growled under his breath. He had half a mind to facepalm before footsteps approached him.

"It would seem that Suzumiya-san is intent in solving the mystery. There is no stopping her." Said a worried voice.

"Oh, what tipped you off about that, Koizumi? The way she angrily stomped away?" Kyon snarked darkly in reply.

The Esper open his mouth to answer accordingly, but thought better instead. He decided to change the subject.

"Her emotional levels are at a critical stage." He intoned, glancing at Haruhi as she returned to a walking pace.

"I know." The brunette grimaced as he followed his gaze. "But what can I do about it? She won't listen to me!"

"Nor would she listen to me. Or the others." Koizumi sighed. "Believe me when I say we tried to dissuade her."

Kyon stared long at his friend for a moment, before he shook his head. "That means we're out of options then."

As the two teens fell in a scared silence, they watched as Nagato and Mikuru were joined by Haruhi near the front gates of the Saeki household. Mikuru, being herself, was afraid of at the sight of the ominous building. She was whimpering and refused to take another step near it; because as the fearful locals living near it said, anyone who stepped into the house would die horribly due to the curse. And also she had no intention to die anytime soon.

Nagato, on the other hand, was scanning it keenly for any possible data manipulation. Kyon, though priding himself on reading her the best, was finding it hard to tell whether if she found something or not - whether or not she did, the Data Entity kept staring unflinchingly into the darkness of the windows on the second floor of the house, being unusually quiet (considering what she's like) and unnervingly unresponsive to Haruhi's concerned questions to her.

Haruhi, being ignored, turned to the rest of the Brigade, and upon seeing the two silent males standing at a distance, yelled for them to come closer. Koizumi, being the yes man, complied first with a smile on his face and an eager acknowledgement by way of a nod while he moved to her at a brisk pace. Kyon lagged behind him sourly, with his hands in his pockets and his feet dragging while his instincts screamed that they shouldn't even be here.

Haruhi, noticing Kyon's unamusement as he approached, had a penalty in mind for him.

"Kyon!" She barks as soon as he stops, making him jump. "I've got a penalty for you!"

Kyon paled; he had a faint idea on what was in store for him. Haruhi was totally crazy, after all.

"Y-Yes?" He barely hid the alarm and panic in his voice. "_Please don't send me in the house... I don't want to die."_

Mikuru and Koizumi looked at each other instantly, eyes wide. They had thought the same thing he had.

* * *

It's been hours, and Kyon still hadn't come out of the house.

Outside in the cold, the rest of the SOS Brigade were waiting worriedly for him. The moon was high in the sky, and the late-night passerbys who hurriedly went past the house did not even stop to ask them why they were there. And the neighbours of the late Saekis were closing their curtains and dared not to look at the house in fear of the curse transferring to their homes somehow (aside from the children who peeked at it from their rooms secretly).

"This isn't funny anymore, Kyon!" Haruhi suddenly outbursts, breaking the eerie silence. "Come out already!"

There was no response from within the house, and then she finally decided she had enough of waiting.

"I'm going-" She starts as she moves, but finds herself blocked by Koizumi. "Hey, what gives?!"

"I'm sorry Suzumiya-san, but I'm afraid I can't let you go inside." He answers solemnly, his eyes very serious.

"Why not?!" She asked angrily as she tries to sidestep him, only to be blocked by Mikuru. "Oh, not you too Mikuru!"

"He wouldn't forgive us if we let you in." She replies curtly in a tone that Haruhi found hard to think of her to use.

Desperate to go through, she had to ask Nagato for help, whom she remembered was still staring at the house.

"Nagato!" She calls out frantically as she tries to sidestep the duo again. "Help me out here!"

She expected her to step in now, but when the bookworm didn't, Haruhi paused and turned to look at her...

Only to see she wasn't there.

"Nagato?"

And then the door slammed close behind the other two horrified Brigadiers.

* * *

Koizumi collapsed to the floor, almost about to throw up. His phone hit the floor and bounced a bit before it's lit screen's light fell on the vague outline of a corpse near the attic. The Esper was finding it hard to breathe, and it wasn't long before he did throw up. It wasn't because he felt nauseated at seeing something mentally disturbing - he threw up because the corpse was Kyon himself. The moment he saw him, he didn't need to verify how he died:

His jaw was missing.

Then quiet, almost deliberate, footsteps came.

Panicking, the teenager madly reached for his phone and shone it's light on the figure that was getting closer.

It was just Nagato, apparently in good health. But was it just him, or was her hair longer than it was before?

"Oh, N-Nagato." Koizumi said with a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness you're safe and sound. I thought the curse-"

That was when he saw the lifeless black eye between her turning black hair.

Outside, Mikuru and Haruhi never heard his scream.


	58. Stab, Stab, Stab

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

"Yo Kyon."

"Hm?"

"Stab me, would ya?"

With an eager smile the brunette stabbed Taniguchi with his pen. Not once, but thrice.

"Oh, that felt good. Thanks man."

"You're welcome."

Then they both turned to look at their shocked classmates.

"What?" They asked them curiously.

Shrugging, the others turned back to doing whatever they were doing earlier.


	59. Thank God For Off Days

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

_Author's Note:_

_I actually facepalmed the moment I finished this. What the heck was I thinking? Oh well, enjoy..._  
_I'm still not sure if off days are supposed to be like what I've shown it to be in this short story, though..._

* * *

Off day.

Somehow, those two words both annoyed and amused Sasaki. She understood why people had them occasionally; because of mental strain or otherwise, and she also understood why sometimes, it was alright to have one of those days. So she thought as she ignored Kyouko's and Fujiwara's banter while Kuyou looked mildly nonplussed at nothing in particular. Whatever they were talking about, she didn't quite catch it, but at least it didn't involve her.

"Sasaki-san! Who do you think is right?" Asked Kyouko suddenly out of the blue.

Oh, drat.

"Must you always depend on her for help, Kyouko?" Wondered a disbelieving Fujiwara. "I mean, seriously?"

"Well, it's not my fault you're being stubborn! Can't you realize what you said was wrong?" She snaps at him.

The blond rolls his eyes. "Look here, Kyouko, I really don't give a damn if what I said was wrong. So deal with it."

That only riled the Esper even more. "Why, you..."

The Time Traveller shook his head and shrugged at her as he turned his attention to Sasaki.

Only to see she wasn't there.

"Hey, where'd Sasaki go?"

* * *

Humming to herself, Sasaki had no idea why she left her friends behind, but despite that she felt good about it. Perhaps, she thought, I had enough of them for today? Nonsense! Though her friends were childish in a way (Kyouko and Fujiwara having proclaimed they were something that they weren't - an Esper and a Time Traveller respectively), they were fun to be around, and the things they talked about often caught her attention and logic.

Ah, she got it. She was having one of those 'off days' all of a sudden.

And now, she had no clue where she was supposed to go. Should she go back and endure her friends' antics, or should she move on, press forward to unknown horizons? Already, the latter option seemed enticing, and it wasn't long before she did move onwards. But along the way, she couldn't help but feel nervous - in a good way. It was kind of like the times where she was very young, unsure of her surroundings yet very eager to explore them.

With that in mind, she walked to the nearest train station, deciding to go to a place she had never been to before.

* * *

"What do you mean, you can't sense her?!" Roared Fujiwara as he shook Kyouko. "Answer me!"

"I meant exactly what I said, Fujiwara!" Screeched the Esper. "Now stop that!"

A growl escaped the blond's lips as he pushed her away violently, vehemently ignoring the gathering crowd.

"Come on, Kuyou." He says after a calming shake of his head. "Let's find Sasaki before something happens to her."

A minute nod from the Data Entity seconds later, they vanished into the crowd, leaving Kyouko alone and troubled.

* * *

"Oh, crap."

_"What is it, Kyon?"_

"Looks like I got off on the wrong station, Koizumi."

_"Oh my. I suppose I should tell Suzumiya-san about your predicament, then?"_

"Please don't. Can't you just stall her to cover for me or something?"

_"I'm afraid I cannot, my friend. It seems that you are on your own."_

"Damn it. If that's the case, tell her I'm going to be late then."

_"As you wish. See you soon."_

And with that, Kyon sighed as he closed his phone and looked around. But forturnately he wasn't completely lost.

At least there was hope. He went to the nearest station map and studied it, then checked his wallet to see if he had enough money for the train ticket to today's SOS Brigade outing location. Thankfully, he had enough yen, and now it was just only a matter of time for him to buy one from the booth and then continue on his way to the others.

That was when he bumped into someone, apologizing, and then saw a face he hadn't seen in quite a long time.

"Wait... Sasaki?"

"I must admit, this is a pleasant surprise, Kyon!" Sasaki greeted Kyon sweetly as she hugged him.

Watching passerbys softly 'awwwed' at the cute sight of the 'couple' hugging.

"I, uh, me too, Sasaki." Answers the teen in surprise as his cheeks flare up. _"Hey! We're not a couple, people!"_

But he had to admit, it was a pleasant surprise. Then he remembered something. "But, uh, not to sound rude-"

"Oh, hush." She giggles as she put a finger on his lips. Kyon's yellow eyes widened at her, his surprise amplified.

She never did that before. And knowing Sasaki, she wasn't one for affectionate displays or girly-girl actions.

Too stunned to even think about it, Sasaki virtually had no problem taking his hand to lead him somewhere else.

* * *

_"Excuse me mister, but have you seen a girl with light-brown hair wearing a purple shirt head this way?"_

_"Oh, you mean the girlfriend of a rather shy man who were hugging each other here earlier?"_

_"Uh... yeah, her. Where did she go?"_

_"That way. And if you don't mind me asking, young man... why are you looking for her?"_

_"Oh, she's my cousin. I want to see if her date with her boyfriend goes well. I'm just worried for her, that's all."_

_"Ah, I see. Carry on then, you good boy. Make sure she's happy with her boyfriend!"_

_"Thanks."_

* * *

"I hate the elderly." Muttered Fujiwara as he ran to the direction where the old man had kindly pointed for him.

Kuyou could not find a good reason why her ally hated the elderly as she and a determined Kyouko followed him.

* * *

"What's taking Kyon so long?" Wondered an irritated Haruhi.

The others - minus Nagato and including Taniguchi and Kunikida and Sakanaka - could only shrug in response.

* * *

"Sasaki-"

"And we should definitely check the museum that recently opened near here! I've heard the displays are excellent!"

"Sasaki-"

"Oh, and we should have lunch at that restaurant! The prices are cheap, so we can enjoy ourselves there!"

"Sasaki-"

"Then we can watch a romance movie at the cinema!"

Kyon's jaw dropped before he could say her name. _"Okay, who are you and what have you done to the real Sasaki?"_

* * *

"Kuyou. Pinch me. And tell me that I'm not seeing what I'm seeing."

Kuyou pinched a shocked Fujiwara. "You _ not seeing _ you _ seeing."

"... Why did I find that completely unbelievable even though I told you to say that?" Fujiwara mumbled.

"Nevermind that!" Butted in an equally shocked Kyouko. "Look! Sasaki's about to finish kissing Kyon!"

* * *

_"I think I died and went to Heaven." _Thought Kyon idly as nirvana left him. "Woah. Sasaki, you're a _damn good_ kisser."

Sasaki blushed at his compliment as she finished licking her lips and locked her eyes with his.

And then she said something, that even in her odd state, never thought about saying before.

"Thank God for off days." She grinned, wordlessly letting Kyon gain the initiative to kiss her first this time.

And then Haruhi happened to see them kissing each other.


	60. School Days

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

_Author's Note:_

_Good God, what have I done? Oh wait, I referenced School Days. Silly me. Heck, even the title says it._

* * *

On the roof of one of North High's buildings at night, Nagato stared down at the corpses of Mikuru Asashina and Haruhi Suzumiya, having killed them. The bookworm's yellow eyes showed no remorse for her actions - instead, there was just a lifeless look of indifference in them. To her, their deaths meant two people less on the face of this world trying to take her beloved secondary observation target away from her. And speaking of her beloved...

She softly and lovingly caressed his hair as her other hand cradled his decapitated, still _living(?!)_ head in her arms.

The look on Kyon's bloody face was that of pure horror. And why did he have a look of such horror on his features?

Seeing Nagato, a being - no, a person - whom he considered a great friend kill off his other friends had that effect.

Not to mention then getting beheaded at the speed of light shortly afterwards.

At least, Nagato thought, he didn't have to worry about his school days anymore.

She was all that he needed from now on.


	61. Puns, Puns, Puns

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

_Author's Note:_

_Good puns, bad puns, and puns that don't make any sense. You've got to love them all. Now enjoy._

* * *

"Uranus is showing." Said a pleasantly calm Fujiwara as he observed the clear night sky through his telescope.

He never knew who or what hit him a second later - Kyouko, after realizing her misunderstanding, sweatdropped.

* * *

"Did you hear about the student whose left side got cut out?" Taniguchi asked Kunikida.

Kunikida nodded. "Yeah, I heard he's alright now."

* * *

"I'm glad I know sign language." Haruhi said to Mikuru after she helped out a mute. "It's pretty handy, you know."

Mikuru couldn't hold in her giggles anymore.

* * *

"To write with a broken pencil is pointless." Read Koizumi from the book full of wisdom.

He immediately paused. "That wasn't wisdom..."

* * *

"Oh, so I see you've bought a new watch, Fujiwara." Sasaki examined his wrist thoughtfully.

Fujiwara shrugged, brandishing it out. "I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time."

* * *

"Hey Nagato, what's your book about?" Asked Kyon casually as he moved his chess piece to counter Koizumi.

"It is a book about anti-gravity." The bookworm answered as she turned to a page. "It is impossible to put down."

* * *

"Fujiwara!" Asked Kyouko worriedly as she helped the Time Traveller up - he had collapsed earlier. "Are you okay?"

"What happened?" He groaned, clutching his head. "Because I don't have the faintest idea as to why I passed out."

* * *

"Einstein developed a theory about space." Okabe droned to his students. "And it was about time, too."

But he never understood why they all collectively snickered at his words. He could only raise an eyebrow at them.

* * *

"I knew a woman who owned a taser." Said Arakawa proudly to Mori. "And man, was she stunning!"

Mori didn't know what to do - was she to giggle at Arakawa or look incredulously at him?

* * *

"Welcome home, Kyon-kun. How was your day?" Asked Kyon's little sister she prepared a cold drink for him.

Kyon sighed tiredly, massaging his shoulder. "My job at the concrete plant seems to get harder and harder."

* * *

"So, Mikuru, what do you think of archery?" Asks Haruhi as she finishes putting Mikuru's elvish archer outfit on her.

"I-I'm n-not a big fan of a-archery." The Time Traveller stammers nervously. "I-It has too m-many drawbacks."

* * *

"Hey Kyon! Got any jokes you might want to share with us?" Called out Taniguchi from a circle of other teens.

Kyon paused, putting a finger on his chin. "Well, I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes."

* * *

"Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy." Read Koizumi from the newspaper slowly.

He frowned. "How sad."

* * *

"So, Taniguchi, what were you and Kunikida arguing about?" Asked Haruhi curiously at the teen.

"He said I was average - but he was just being mean." He pouted.

* * *

"Never invest in funerals. It's a dying industry." Read Koizumi from the book full of wisdom... again.

He immediately paused... again. "Why do I get the feeling that this book is not what it says it is?"

* * *

"Kyon-kun, just a question..." Tsuyura started. "Why are you so... you know, you?"

Kyon blinked at her, and then shrugged. "I'm just inclined to be laid back, that's all."

* * *

Koizumi hummed at his newspaper. "A new broom came out today, and it's sweeping the nation, they say."

The others pretended not to hear that. Koizumi had this weird habit of talking to himself when reading the paper...

* * *

"Hey Nagato, where did that magic book we bought go?" Asked Kyon as he rummaged through the clubroom for it.

"The book of incantations was useless." She intones. "The author had failed to run a spell check."

* * *

"Man..." Growled Taniguchi as he furiously left his maths class for break. "What's with Okabe-sensei today?!"

Kunikida pursed his lips as he thought about it. "Math teachers have a lot of problems..."

* * *

"Kyouko-chan, where's Fujiwara?" Wondered Sasaki as she scanned the crowd of mourners for any sign of him.

"Oh, that." The Esper began quietly. "He avoids funerals because he's not a mourning person. Please understand."

* * *

"The painter was hospitalized due to many strokes." Read Koizumi from another page in the newspaper.

He folded it and sighed. "There's been too many bad news lately..."

* * *

"I wrote a novel about a fellow who had a small garden, once." Muttered Kyon. "It didn't have much of a plot."

The rest of the Brigade found their interest peaking, and it wasn't long before Nagato demanded to read it.

* * *

"To many girls," Began Koizumi to an inattentive Kyon. "the word marriage has a nice ring to it."

"Sorry, what?" Asked Kyon after he snapped out of a nightmare he suddenly had which was about him and Haruhi.


	62. A Windy, Late Afternoon

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

_Author's Note:_

_I admit, I'm a Kyon x Sasaki shipper. There's something about their canon personalities that makes them fit each other (kind of), even though I kinda bastardized their personalities in this fanfic (them being in a relationship in this short story and the stories before this one certainly counts as a bastardization) and made them act out of character. __Oh well. _

_Also, I suck at titles. That explains why I came up for the title 'A Windy, Late Afternoon' for this short story. _

_And there's a role for Tsuyura in this completely random story. Enjoy._

* * *

The sun was beginning to set as the bell for the end of clubroom activities rang in North High, giving the scarcely clouded sky a brilliant hue of bright orange and tinting the clouds a dark grey. The view was magnificent, or at the least glorious; Kyon couldn't say otherwise as he found himself at a park. It was a windy, late afternoon and more or less it was a peaceful one at that too. The nearby birds, however, continued to chirp out their beautiful melodies.

The teenager paused to listen at their music, for once in a long while not thinking about anything too much and just enjoying himself. But still, he felt deeply tired - being bossed around by Haruhi all day had that effect - and he was torn between getting home already or wait for someone until the sun finally set. In the meanwhile, he stayed there for quite some time. He closed his eyes and lost himself in the sounds of nature, unaware of a person watching him.

Tsuyura was curious about what Kyon was doing at this time of the day (when all the students of North High were supposed to be home by now) the moment she saw him sitting alone at the bench in the park, with his eyes closed and a faint smile on his face. She couldn't help but stare at him as she then hid in the bushes, often tilting her head to get a better view at him. But time was passing quickly, and the green-haired girl was getting impatient for action.

Just as she was about to consider walking up to him and say hello, she was subjected to a sight that she had never (actually, she did once or twice) thought of seeing him in before. The wind that rustled the leaves of her bush and of the greenery around her didn't do much to distract her from what she was seeing and trying her hardest to believe.

Kyon grinned when he opened his eyes just in time to catch sight of Sasaki nearing him, holding her schoolbag in the way most other schoolgirls would. She smiled back at him as she took a seat right next to him, putting her belongings gently beside her side of the bench as Kyon watched her with mild interest, and possibly, with a hint of happiness. Then both teenagers looked at each other, and in an instant, started to kiss each other passionately.

Tsuyura's jaw dropped.

A few minutes later the couple broke off their kiss, with Sasaki uncharacteristically blushing deeply and Kyon letting out a fake cough as they both looked away from each other shyly. Tsuyura froze for a moment as the gravity of the event she had seen finally set foot in her shocked mind; she had thought Kyon and Haruhi were going out, as her constant 'abuse' of him in and out of club activities had given everyone at school that impression of them both.

Boy, was everyone so wrong. Wait until they heard the news, though... but did Haruhi even know about this?

And suddenly the girl found her attention of the sitting duo wanting.

"So, uh, how was your day, Sasaki?" Kyon began, though he's still looking away.

"It was pleasant, Kyon. Though I must say, Kyouko-san was acting rather... happy today." She responds nervously.

"Eh?" Kyon asks, turning to face her a bit. "What was up with her?"

"I do not know." Sasaki replies, her blush receding faintly. "To tell you the truth, she's been acting that way since..."

The brunette took in a breath as her blush returned full force. "... since we started to go out three months ago."

"Ah." That was all what Kyon could say as _his_ blush returned. "I think she's happy because she sees you're happy."

"I thought you'd say that." Sasaki replied knowingly, understanding his point of view. "But anyhow..."

"How was your day then?" She asked next. "I assume it was as chaotic as I thought it would be?"

Kyon shakes his head twice slowly. "Oddly enough, no. It was like things were going right for me once..."

Promptly, Sasaki hums in agreement to his statement, and then leaned in closer to kiss him. Kyon kissed her back.

Again, Tsuyura's jaw dropped. The wind rustled everything around her once more.

And again, they broke off the kiss minutes later, with the couple taking breaths. This time, they didn't look away.

"So, about Kyouko..." Starts Kyon after clearing his throat. "She probably knows about us."

Sasaki managed a nod, internally glad that the said girl they were talking about wasn't here. "Perhaps."

"Wait." Kyon raised an eyebrow at her, concerned at her word choice. "You haven't told your friends about us yet?"

"No, I haven't." She shrugs briefly, edging closer to Kyon and resting her head on his shoulder. "Not yet, at least."

Then she looked at Kyon square in the eye calmly. "But have _you_ told your friends about us?"

Kyon winced... "Well, I nearly did." ... and then shook his head, heaving out a sigh. "But I got interrupted."

"Oh?" Sasaki asks curiously as a small interested grin forms on her lips, signalling she was ready to listen to him.

"It's a long story." Kyon answers sheepishly as he took Sasaki's soft hand into his. "It involved Taniguchi and a cat."

* * *

By the time Kyon and Sasaki left the park together (holding hands too no less) after he had regaled her about that incident, Tsuyura was at a loss at what to do the moment she stopped out of the bushes giddily. Fortunately, luck was on her side as she automatically remembered to go home - her parents must be extremely worried by now.

It didn't take long, but she did get home eventually. After being chastised (of course) by her parents for being late and making them worry, she rushed up the stairs and was left to her own devices, devices in this case meaning her concerns about what she had witnessed today: that Kyon was going out with someone she had never seen before.

"So..." She murmured to herself as she lay on her bed, indecisively staring at the ceiling. "Should I go tell Haruhi?"


	63. The Clubroom Door's Malfunctioning

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

_Author's Note:_

_Been too long since I posted anything. So here's a short story that I made up on the spot._

* * *

"..."

Kyon was totally speechless the moment he opened the door to the SOS Brigade's clubroom.

Instead of seeing the usual as always, he found himself in what seemed to be a dark and cold laboratory, with a pale-faced black-haired snake-like man looking at him in surprise near from what seemed to be a bloody operating table. Beside him was a grey-haired bespectacled man who too was also looking at him in surprise though the look in his eyes seemed to exaggerate it twice-fold. That man wore a metal headband that had a musical note on it.

"My lord, who..."

Kyon wisely closed the door before the man said anything else.

* * *

The brunette returned to standing outside the clubroom and then blinked before shrugging to himself.

Then he opened the door again...

* * *

"Salazar's socks! How did this Muggle enter the mansion?!"

The teenager found himself looking at the insides of a really dark mansion's dining hall, whose orange fire in the fireplace did little to brighten things up. Masked and hooded people gaped at the unexpected visitor, including the suspiciously similar second snake-like man (who lacked hair unlike the first man) who was staring at him in disbelief at the other end of the long table they were all sitting at. Then, Kyon felt a killing intent rushing from the man.

_"AVADA KEDAVRA!"_ He suddenly yelled, furiously pointing a stick at him which sent a green orb of light to Kyon.

In a split second before it hit him the highschooler dodged and immediately shut the door.

* * *

Kyon shook his head, trying to rid himself of his sudden bout of vivid hallucinations he had received.

Then, out of nowhere, Tsuyura appeared.

"Heya Kyon!" She cheerily greeted the confused teen. Then she saw the look on his face. "Hey, what happened?"

He blinked at her. "I think I saw some things that I shouldn't have."

"Like what?" The girl pressed him curiously.

The other teenager opened the door to answer her.

* * *

"..."

"..."

* * *

"Kyon-kun... Do you know a way to unsee what you've seen?"

"No... but I have a feeling Nagato would be more than willing to tell us one."

And since then, the shell-shocked duo never talked about what they saw the last time Kyon opened the door:

...

Nah, they'd rather not think about it. It was too traumatizing.


	64. Pimp Trio

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

_Author's Note:_

_And here's another one; a crossover. This time this short story makes little freaking sense. What the fuck._

* * *

Shino Aburame, Kyon, Morichika Rinnosuke walked into bar. All of them were hot; something that everyone noticed.

Then they turned to each other and said:

"Let's go get some bitches, guys."

Much fun was to be had at the bar at the other males' expense.

* * *

-Minutes Later-

Shino won their unspoken 'contest' (ie. bitch gathering) by a huge margin (consisting of two surprised blondes, a gaping brunette, a giggling pinkette, and a blushing black-haired girl) while Rinnosuke just sighed defeatedly and contented himself with a young shrine maiden and a rather possessive young witch whom he knew too well for his tastes (whose identities he did not disclose). Kyon, on the other hand, looked nervous with a furious brunette.

Then they said:

"Let's all go downtown."

* * *

-Much Later-

Shino was smoking a cigarette, uncaring if the bugs inside him were protesting. He smoked because he wanted to feel sexy after what he had done and he idly wondered if the whole of Konoha's and Suna's shinobi force would be after him for his actions. Rinnosuke was thinking along the same lines, but unlike Shino, he was worried about dealing with a myriad of different youkai wanting his _head _(hint hint). Kyon, well, he had nothing to worry about.

"Ready for round three, girls?"

* * *

-Much, MUCH Later-

Tired and feeling extremely happy, the unlikely trio of friends were going home. It was early morning already.

"Hey guys, why did we ever... you know... completely knock up girls we know?" Kyon asked uncomfortably.

Shino sighed. "Why, Kyon? We needed to send a message to the other guys that we're badass motherfuckers."

Rinnosuke appraised the Aburame in a respectful light. "Ah. No wonder the girls we were with like us a lot now."

Then they all smiled smugly inwardly.

_"Just as planned."_

* * *

-The Day After-

Kyon, Shino and Rinnosuke watched the TV at their apartment with mild interest; they were watching the news.

_"This just in! There's three badass motherfuckers on the loose!"_

They laughed.


	65. A Weird Camping Trip

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

_Author's Note:_

_Just a bit of silly nonsense that I just thought of on the spot. Here you go._

* * *

On an all boys camping trip, Kyon, Fujiwara, Taniguchi, Kunikida, Koizumi, the Computer Club President (CCP) and the Student Council President (SCP) were setting up their tents at a clearing in a forest, supervised by Arakawa and Okabe. Once they were properly set up, the butler gave them orders to stand to full attention while the teacher carefully inspected all of the tents to make sure they would hold throughout the night. He saw no flaws.

"Fujiwara, SCP, Koizumi, and Taniguchi, spread out in pairs to gather firewood. Okabe? Watch them." Arakawa said.

The four boys nodded, and they walked into the darkness looking for ignitable material, followed by Okabe.

"Kyon, CCP, and Kunikida, gather some stones for the campfire." The older man continued, nodding at them.

The trio then hustled about their camp, picking up the stones they deemed good enough for their campfire.

* * *

As soon as the boys done their respective tasks while Arakawa was patrolling the camp, Okabe led them to the campfire and they all huddled close to it, the chill of the night already taking hold of them. The men were quiet as Arakawa returned with a shotgun, and once the old man nodded an 'all clear' at them and smiled, they broke out their marshmallow packs and began to roast the white chewy goodness over the fire with their barbecue sticks.

"It's been a long time since I've gone camping." Fujiwara was the first to break the silence, initiating conversation.

"Really?" Asked Kyon as he shifted to make space for Taniguchi and the CCP. "When did you last go camping?"

The blond shrugged. "Beats me. Ask Tanigawa-san instead, he's the one who brought us to life."

This earned Fujiwara a couple of light-hearted chuckles from the group - he was speaking the truth after all.

"Speaking of Tanigawa-san..." Okabe began after the chuckles subsided. "Any idea what he's been up to lately?"

"Working on his latest novel, no doubt." Answered Kunikida as he bit into his marshmallow. "If not, I don't know."

"He's probably spending time with his family." Taniguchi suggested as he turned his marshmallow on its other side.

"Perhaps..." The SCP mused. "And while we're on the topic of family... How are your parents, Arakawa-san?"

The butler smiled sadly at the blue-haired teen. "They peacefully passed away a month ago."

"Oh, my." The CCP covered his mouth in mild shock. "We're sorry to hear of your loss."

The butler nodded his thanks solemnly.

Clearing his throat to ease the awkwardness, the SCP turned to Kyon next. "Hey, how's your little sister, Kyon?"

The brunette grimaced faintly. "Same old, same old. Still annoying as heck though, but otherwise very happy."

Then the teen turned to the quiet Fujiwara. "And you, Fujiwara? How's your older sister?"

The Time Traveller winced. "I, uh... I don't want to talk about it much. It's kind of complicated."

"We understand." Okabe responded for all of them. "Now, let's change the subject before we all get depressed."

Inwardly, everyone sighed in relief and agreement.

"So, what are we going to talk about then?" Kunikida asked as he finished his first marshmallow.

"How about the girls we know?" Suggested Taniguchi innocently, who was then looked at incredulously. "What?"

"Still a pervert, I see." Koizumi muttered at Taniguchi dryly. "Oh well, let's get on with it anyways. Who's on first?"

"I am." Kyon raised his hand. His friend nodded at him. "Let's talk about Tsuyura."

"Tsuyura?" Echoed the others except Arakawa, who raised an eyebrow at him.

"She's special, like Haruhi and Sasaki are. She makes me wonder if she's even human like I am." Kyon explained.

"Ah." Taniguchi piped in. "She's special, alright. But isn't she an honorary member of your club, the SOS Brigade?"

"Recently, yeah." Kyon answered as he impaled his third marshmallow and roasted it. "Why'dya ask, man?"

"He thinks she's a werewolf." Kunikida answered for his buddy. "Or at least a vampire, with her fang and all."

Kyon shrugged noncommittally. "That's a possibility I've considered... but I'd rather stick to the idea she's human."

"Right, who else are we going to talk about?" Okabe asked as he finished his marshmallow. "It's almost late."

"That was a rather short talk." Kyon pointed out amusedly. "Since when was it late, by the way, Okabe-sensei?"

"Since..." The teacher furrowed his brows at his wristwatch. "... fifteen minutes ago. Odd... Very odd indeed..."

Koizumi sighed. "Time passes by quickly when you're having fun. That, or the author's deliberately messing with us."

_"Damn it, McSlendy..."_ Cursed Fujiwara automatically under his breath, glaring at the sky. Kyon silently did the same.

"Sucks to be in a fanfic, doesn't it, guys?" The CCP intoned as he wished the author dead, not once but thrice.

Everyone muttered their agreement darkly, each making notes to find and kill McSlendy later.

Arakawa then pulled out a book from his backpack, causing everyone to look at him curiously.

"I believe it's time for horror stories, since the mood is set." He smirked evilly at them, and in reply they paled.

But then the butler laughed and pulled off the cover of the book, revealing an adventure book instead of horror.

"I was just kidding, everyone." He said, still chuckling, but realized they still haven't moved. "Erm... everyone?"

All of the boys were staring at something behind him, their faces still pale. Slowly, the old man turned around...

To see a pale blank face up close.

**_"SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKER!"_**

All hell suddenly broke loose.

* * *

"Go with us on a camping trip, they said." Whimpered Fujiwara as he weakly crawled away. "It'd be fun, they said."


	66. A Windy, Yet Not Late Afternoon

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

_Author's Note:_

_Just a continuation from 'A Windy, Late Afternoon'. I gotta say, I don't know why I'm even doing this. Here goes._

* * *

The next day, Tsuyura was still undecided as to whether or not tell Haruhi about Kyon's relationship with that girl.

That said, her mind was preoccupied dealing with her choice. Thankfully, her zoning out during class and likewise went unnoticed, and by the time it was lunch break nobody had even noticed she had slipped out of her classroom. After a tense moment of self-doubt and internal debates, she decided to go looking for Haruhi but inwardly she still felt hesitant; what if telling Haruhi about Kyon's secret girlfriend would mean the end of the Brigade altogether?

If that happened, she didn't want to be the cause of it.

Too immersed thinking how to break the news to her friend, Tsuyura was about to bump into a familiar face's back.

"Oof!" She grunted softly, staggering backwards a bit too fast.

About to fall over, she let out a little 'eep' before an arm warp itself around her waist and hauled her to her feet.

"Tsuyura-san, I'm so sorry." Said the person apologetically. "I should have watched where I was going."

Looking up, she saw it was Kyon, his concern about her readily apparent in his eyes and furrowed brows.

The green-haired girl froze, and without warning she sneaked out of his grasp and ran away, her face pale.

Kyon could only shrug innocently at the mildly alarmed looks that were being shot his way.

* * *

After that odd encounter with Tsuyura, Kyon kept mostly to himself until he found a lonely stairwell to call Sasaki.

Taking out his phone, he dialed her number and waited for her to pick up; they had told each other about their schedules at school, so it wasn't a problem to call each other unless they were in the middle of class. It took about a few tries until the call connected, and Kyon had to stop himself from grinning like a madman in advance when he would hear her voice. Even then, the brunette on the other end of the line took her time to say something.

_"Hold on a moment, Kyouko-chan... This is Sasaki speaking."_

"Hello Sasaki, it's me, Kyon. You free for a chat?"

* * *

Haruhi gaped at Tsuyura, her legs slowly giving away to her suddenly heavy body. Koizumi lost his smile, and faintly sparkling within his eyes was his fear of the worst case scenario he could imagine now happening. Mikuru paled but nobody noticed her hand grasping thin air in front of her neck, Nagato had closed her book and was staring hard at her lap, and Tsuyura was nervously fidgeting with the hem of her skirt and trying her best not to regret anything.

"HE'S IN A _WHAT_?!"

* * *

_"... and it seems that my break is over now, Kyon-kun. I wish we could have talked longer, but I have to go. I love you."_

"I love you too, Sasaki. Guess I'll see you later at the usual spot, then. Bye."

And with the end call beep barely registering in his head, Kyon chuckled softly, in the meanwhile failing to fully suppress his grin - his face looked like it had the ghost of a smile on it. He shook his head slowly and closed his eyes, letting the peaceful atmosphere of a windy, yet not late afternoon seep into his imagination as a gentle breeze ruffled him, and then exhaled. His eyes, previously showing eagerness, now showed contentment.

He couldn't wait to see his girlfriend already.

_"Who'd have thought... that by talking about our feelings for each other and explaining ourselves, Sasaki and I ended up together as a happy couple?"_ Kyon inwardly mused.

Another gentle breeze found its way to Kyon, and with it came a healthy couple of tree leaves which he caught.

"Who'd have thunk it?" He muttered to himself as he held them, blissfully unaware of the winds of fate changing.

* * *

A female Kouyouen School teacher was in the middle of (secretly) reading a naughty magazine. She had left her students to answer the math equations she had written on the board as she sat behind her desk. The equations themselves weren't too hard to answer as opposed to the brutal ones given to them by the previous math teachers years ago, but they were a lot of them and it took her students time to answer them all.

So, to relieve herself of her free time and boredom waiting for her students to finish (despite setting them a time limit), she had resorted to going back to reading her vice (everyone who knew her knew what it was but they didn't care, or they loved her too much not to report it) where then she felt a presence coming. She quickly hid away her magazine (she still gets embarrassed when her students catches her in the act) and prepared herself.

She looked up and smiled warmly at the student facing her. "What seems to be the matter, class rep Kyouko-chan?"

The female Esper nervously fidgeted in her place, unsure as to how to proceed.

"How do I explain this..." She began to herself slowly, then sighed exasperatedly. "I don't know, sensei."

The teacher blinked. "Oh?"

"I... I, uh, I feel like something horrible going to happen soon." She whispered to her perverted teacher worriedly.

At this, Kyouko Tachibana then gave an aside glance at Kuyou Suoh, whom she discreetly nodded at.

Kuyou gave back a minute nod of her own to her and suddenly disappeared into thin air. Nobody saw her vanish.

Sasaki failed to notice anything as she had blocked out everything else whilst she wrote down her answers.

On a distant rooftop overlooking the school smoking a cigarette, Fujiwara was approached by the SCD Data Entity.

* * *

On the way to class after a quick lunch, Kyon found himself unexpectedly being stopped by a cold, serious Koizumi.

"Hey man, what's the deal?" He snapped annoyedly at his friend, turning to look at him.

When he saw the serious look in the Esper's eyes, they said a thousand words to the brunette for their owner.

But those thousand words were taken out of Kyon's processing mind by a single, all too familiar name:

_"Haruhi."_

* * *

Breathless and leaning against the doorway of his classroom, Kyon carefully scanned the class for the missing reality warper. Everyone else were looking at him with mixed reactions as he did so: Okabe was completely bewildered, Sakanaka was totally scared, Taniguchi was shocked solid and Kunikida was pale as snow. His tiredness quickly turning into fury at seeing no Haruhi around, Kyon stopped panting and abruptly bellowed:

"Where's Haruhi?!"

"K-Kyon-kun?" Stammered Okabe, unused to seeing this side of the normally under-achieving student.

"Shut up!" Kyon snapped at him darkly, pointing a finger - unintentionally adding to the effect of silencing him.

He turned back to the class instantly, leaving Okabe gaping. "Where's Haruhi?!"

Goto opened his mouth to answer for everyone, but then Kyon was in front of him, grabbing him up by his shirt.

"Where is she?!" Kyon barked into his face.

"Calm yourself first!" Goto began nervously, but the grip on his shirt tightened instead. "I, uh, I don't know!"

A fist was raised threateningly, looming dangerously close, making the class rep add: "But she's not in school!"

Kyon's raised knuckles creaked ominously. "Then where the hell is she?!"

"I don't know, honest to God! But I heard rumors circulating during lunch she was out to kill someone! _She flipped!_"

"Flipped?" Kyon momentarily blinked, then he became serious again. "Why?!"

"No idea, but I know it had something to do with a senior telling her something! That's all I know! I swear!"

If it was even possible, the classroom suddenly felt colder.

Kyon's anger was no longer visible, but instead they could feel it twice-fold in the air.

It was so strong; they almost failed to hear Kyon hiss:

_"Tsuyura..."_


	67. Working With An Ex

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

_Author's Note:_

_God, I'm an idiot._

* * *

"So, Kyon... Who's she?"

"She's my wife, Haruhi. Sasaki, meet my ex-wife."

"SHE'S YOUR WHAT?!"

* * *

The day after, Sasaki was comforting an extremely agonized Kyon in the hospital.

For fear of making you readers cringe, I'd rather not tell you where Haruhi hit him.

* * *

Months later, elsewhere, Kyon stared at Haruhi in disbelief the moment she stepped into his office.

"What are you doing here?!" Kyon instantly yelled, his eyes wide at his ex-wife.

However, she mirrored his exact movement. "I should be asking you the same thing! What are you doing here?!"

"I work here!" Kyon yelled back at her.

"Well, I do to!" Haruhi yelled back.

Immediately, both stopped yelling as a revelation hit them.

"I'M YOUR MANAGER!"

"YOU'RE MY MANAGER!"

* * *

Kyon had to be restrained from trying to strangle Haruhi while Haruhi had to be restrained from trying to kick him.

* * *

"Welcome home, de-" Sasaki began, then her face shows her surprise. "Kyon! You're hurt! What happened?!

"My ex-wife, that's what happened." Snapped Kyon furiously as he started his search for an icepack.

* * *

A year later, in another part of the office building, Taniguchi approached Kyon uneasily.

"Hey dude." He greeted, but then grimaced. "Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot." Kyon said as he drank from his coffee, while he was looking over a report.

"Can you tell your ex-wife to stop being so bossy?" The black-haired teen timidly said.

Kyon instantly glared at him. "Grow some balls, man. It's not my fault the higher-ups promoted her to manager."

"Sheesh, sorry I asked." Taniguchi apologized sheepishly. "By the way... how are things with your wife?"

"Excellent, thanks for asking. Sasaki's expecting a little girl to come soon. It's been over 8 months now."

"Oh, cool. Congrats, man."

* * *

Sometime later, in a manager's meeting, Kyon, Haruhi and several others were beginning to stand.

"... and that concludes this month's employee review." Kunikida finished with clear relief. "So, see you guys later."

Kyon was about to get out of the room when suddenly, someone called out: "Hey, Kyon-kun!"

Turning around against his better judgement, he saw Tsuyura waving over at him. "Ah. Tsuyura-san. What's up?"

She came closer to him, leaning towards to his ear. "It's about your wife, Sasaki..."

Kyon was instantly sure everyone heard that, including a certain ex-wife...

* * *

"SHE'S PREGNANT?!"

"For the past 8 months, yes."

* * *

"Fuck, that hurt." Kyon said the moment he regained consciousness.

"Hold still, Kyon-san. Let me dab the cotton to your forehead..." Sakanaka murmured as she gently attended to him.

* * *

A week after going on leave to take care of his wife after she gave birth, Kyon finally returned to work.

He was promptly met by all his friends at his office.

"Hey man, how are ya?!" Taniguchi greeted him enthusiastically, clapping him on the back.

"Better than before." Kyon grinned; he meant his words. "Sasaki's never been so happy. It's... quite surreal."

"We're happy for you, Kyon-kun!" Tsuyura smiled as she hugged the guy - nobody minded; she was a close friend.

But the happy occasion was cut short when they heard the abrupt sound of a pen snapping into two.

Kyon's eyebrow twitched. "I'm going to get sent to the hospital today, aren't I?"

He found his rhetorical question answered three hours later as he woke up in a hospital room.

* * *

"She looks almost like you, Sasaki."

"Nonsense. I say she looks almost like you, Kyon."

"But isn't that a moot point, honey? I mean, children have a bit of their parents in them, after all."

"I agree, but what I said still stands."

"... Oh, what the heck. I still say she looks almost like you."

"And like I said before, nonsense."

The couple laughed at their light banter as their baby grasped at Sasaki's hair.

* * *

Kyon stared ruefully at a teary-eyed Sasaki as she held her baby, sitting right beside Kyon's bed.

He had been stabbed by Haruhi when she cornered him during work. And now, the father found it a bit funny.

"And that's why you shouldn't be working with an ex, especially when you're married to someone else."

He coughed, wincing.

"Oh man, I'm gonna be hurt for a while."


	68. We're In The Matrix!

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

"What just happened?"

If there was something that Kyon couldn't understand, it was that he was suddenly wearing what seemed to be a pitch-black attire complete with shades. Another thing that he couldn't understand, was that his fellow Brigadiers - including Tsuyura - too had a sudden change of clothes right before his very eyes, their clothes also having the exact color of Kyon's own. Also, where they were supposed to be at the clubroom, they were somewhere else.

The teenager blinked; and in response his friends did the same, only that theirs were slower than his.

"I'm afraid I don't have a logical explanation."

Koizumi apparently, was still in shock about his and everyone else's new appearances. For one, he had a nice trench coat on his person; while Kyon too had a trench coat with a tank-top underneath. Mikuru stared at the sharp office-like uniform she was now wearing, but other than that she seemed to have accepted the change. Nagato looked even sharper, wearing a similar design of clothes to that of the Time Traveller's. They all wore shades.

Haruhi's and Tsuyura's clothes were different, however. They were wearing shiny black leather clothing. Tsuyura's was form-fitting even for a leather attire, while Haruhi's had bared her midriff quite decently. They too also wore shades. The male brunette took a moment to realize that he was staring at them, and so to divert his attention he looked at himself again and inspected his own clothes. They definitely were real - they felt smooth to the touch.

"Woah."

Tsuyura had breathed out her shock, looking at her black glove covered hand in disbelief. Even with their shades on, everyone could see that she was finding this hard to believe for herself. For normal people, who wouldn't? But the SOS Brigade and the people that formed it weren't normal to begin with, though, so the thought didn't surprise Kyon that much as much as he didn't want it to. Must be a side effect of being with Haruhi for too long.

And speaking of her...

"I did it. I actually did it."

Both Koizumi and Kyon sharply turned to Haruhi at that. What did she mean, she did it?

"We're in the Matrix. We're in the Matrix!"

"The _what?_"

* * *

The metal wall burst open as Kyon was flung through it. Seconds later he landed harshly on the floor of an empty warehouse, groaning in pain for a brief moment before getting back on his feet again. He winced at the bright sunlight coming through the windows, internally lamenting the loss of his shades, when slow clapping from the hole caught his attention. Fujiwara smirked at him, his shades reflecting Kyon's battered, bloody face.

"Not bad, Kyon. Not bad." He said sarcastically.

Kyon spat out blood and growled at his enemy. Shifting into his fighting stance, he prepared himself for the onslaught of blows his opponent will bring him. The blond gave a slow grin, and immediately in the span of a few seconds he was right in front of Kyon's face. Breaking right through his defences, Fujiwara started off with a punch followed by grabbing Kyon's shoulders, forcing his head to meet his knee. He was then kicked on the chest hard.

That sent Kyon crashing down to the floor clutching his chest, but it was a ruse to catch his enemy off-guard as Kyon instantly sprung back to his feet and delivered a swift left hook to Fujiwara. The punch connected, but his opponent snarled in response and returned the favor by grabbing Kyon's outstretched wrist, throwing him to the wall with all his might. Leaving a large dent on it, Kyon fell down coughing out more blood in an induced stupor.

"Where are the others when you need them..." He muttered weakly to himself.

* * *

Koizumi and Mikuru, meanwhile, were being kept busy.

Agents Brown, Jones, Jackson and Thompson were giving them no reprieve as the two Brigadiers kept dodging their bullets while returning fire. They were being chased all over the city unrelentingly; at one point of the chase they were being shot at by a military chopper, which Koizumi promptly shot down by killing the pilot. Having hi-jacked a reinforced FBI jeep from their owners, the duo continued to drive their bullet-ridden vehicle, with Mikuru panicking.

"Turn left, Asashina-san! Turn left!" Koizumi yelled whilst reloading his uzi, ducking as he sensed bullets incoming.

"I can't!" She yelled back, in the process unintentionally side-sweeping a car, sending it straight to the Agents.

The explosion that followed nearly caused the Time Traveller to lose her concentration, while the Esper screamed:

"Asashina-san, remind me to never let you drive again!"

* * *

Tsuyura and Nagato were trapped in a dead end, facing the Agents Finn and Fine in an alleyway.

"So, Nagato-chan... You think you can take them?" Asked the green-haired girl casually, looking amused.

The lavender-haired girl nodded, and proceeded to outstretch a hand.

The Agents both glanced at each other, wondering why Nagato acted so, before they charged simultaneously.

They never saw what made Tsuyura laugh at them as the bookworm crushed them with dumpsters from above.

* * *

Haruhi glared at the Agents that faced her. Agent White stared impassively while Agents Bird and Ash aimed their machine guns at her. Eyes narrowing, Haruhi broke off into a sprint the opposite way where they were standing. Bird and Ash followed in pursuit, while Agent White remained where he stood, looking fairly bored at nothing in particular. It wasn't long before he overwrote his code to another program, leaving a confused man in his place.

Haruhi continued to run through the thick crowd of Chinatown inhabitants, roughly pushing away those who got in her way. On the roofs above watching her closely were Bird and Ash, waiting patiently for the right moment to shoot, their machine guns having morphed into sniper rifles. The brunette jumped over an elderly couple and dove off into the direction of an unused motorcycle; unaware that White was just around the corner wielding a minigun.

When she heard the whir of his weapon, she instantly cursed and jumped for cover.

"Are you freaking kidding me?!" She exclaimed to herself the moment she landed.

That was when Bird narrowly missed his shot, causing Haruhi to whip her revolver and shoot him in the forehead.

What a shot.

Agent Ash merely blinked at the temporary loss of his companion and shrugged, resuming aiming for Haruhi.

* * *

_"Anyone out there that can lend a hand? I'm being beat up over here!"_ Kyon yelled into his earpiece.

_"I'm busy!"_ Haruhi yelled back.

_"We're on our way, Kyon-kun!"_ Tsuyura responded urgently.

_"Us too!" _Mikuru replied from the passenger seat.

* * *

Bound and kneeling on the floor, the SOS Brigade and surprisingly Fujiwara were glaring at their captors. They all were in the warehouse where Kyon was being beaten by Fujiwara. The Agents seemed to be having a silent meeting, and despite the suffering and clothing damage they endured fighting the 'not-redpills', they seemed bored out of their minds. That is, until Agent Gray and the other Agents all stared at them simultaneously and creepily.

**"They do not belong in this world."** They all said at once.

The seven humans suddenly felt tired...

* * *

When they woke up, each were convinced they had the most realistic dream they ever had.

But later that day Kyon could never figure out why Nagato began wearing darker glasses.


	69. Time Travellers Are Brutal

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

Being followed by a stranger was an alarming experience to say the least, as Mikuru found out for herself.

It was late at night and she was still on her way home after another outing with the SOS Brigade, tired but not to the point of being inattentive of her surroundings. The Time Traveller tensed as she thought about the many self-defence techniques she could use that she had been taught by her superiors, carefully maintaining her walking posture to catch her potential opponent off-guard when he would attempt to attack her. So far, so good.

That was when another man stepped out of the shadows ahead, looking directly at her.

Mikuru immediately stopped in her tracks, her meek personality no more.

"Well well well, what's a pretty girl like you walking around at a time like this?" Said the new man with a leer.

"None of your business." Mikuru snapped back at him, her eyes narrowing.

"Feisty little one, aren't you?" He chuckled. "You've got spunk, I can tell you that."

"And you're ugly and you're a waste of space." Replied the Time Traveller darkly. "Now get out of my way."

"Hey!" Growled the man. "Look here, girl, you better watch your tongue!"

"Or what?" Snarled Mikuru. "You're going to rape me to teach me a lesson?"

The man behind her laughed. "Actually, that's what we're going to do to you. You're going to be our first victim."

Then he swung the wooden baseball bat over his head.

Mikuru dodged and countered by swinging her bag to hit his face - it connected and promptly dazed her attacker. The other man saw his opportunity and rushed forward with a chloroform-laced cloth, but didn't even get close enough as the girl quickly picked up the bat and thrusted it into his crotch. Pain assaulting his senses, the would-be rapist staggered backwards to fall, but not before he got whalloped on the head with Mikuru's new weapon.

Seeing stars, he proceeded to faint.

"Dumbasses." Mikuru muttered under her breath, and for good measure she hit their kneecaps too. Twice.

She went home annoyed that night, while police were later left baffled as to who brutally left two men paralyzed.

* * *

"P-Please... No more!" Cried a bleeding hoodlum.

Rolling his eyes, Fujiwara resumed punching the previously offending teenager and continued until he felt the body fall limp. Uncaring if the person who tried to rob him was dead due to excessive force, he simply let go of the body and then walked past a couple of more robbers on the ground who tried to rob him too while he was on his way to an outing with his erstwhile comrades, Kyouko Tachibana, Kuyou Suoh and Sasaki. He stopped to look at his watch.

He was late.

Instantly furious, he approached one of his attackers who was beginning to stir. Grabbing him up, the Time Traveller began to punch him repeatedly in the face just like the last fool who remained standing, ignoring the scared apologies his temporary punching bag was screaming. A few minutes later, his fury was fully spent, resulting with the hooded teenager once again lying unconscious on the ground, this time in a growing pool of his own blood.

"Motherfucking sons of bitches!" He yelled afterwards. "Now Kyouko's going to talk my ear off once I get to them!"

As he approached the edge of the alleyway in a foul mood, he paused to look at the battered bodies he left behind.

"Assholes." He growled at them unceremoniously, ignoring the stares everyone on the street was giving him.

Later that day Kyouko concernedly asked if the blood on Fujiwara's clothes belonged to him. He said no.


	70. Such Is Life In The Zone

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

* * *

Chugging down the last of his vodka, Fujiwara wiped his mouth and dizzily aimed his gun at the bandit he tied up.

"Now, tell me where you put your stash." He growled slurrily.

"Fuck you." Said the bandit, and in return his head was blasted clean off his shoulder.

"Idiot." The blond slurred again after pulling the trigger, before clumsily holstering his gun and collapsing to the floor.

Glaring at his empty bottle of drink as if its emptiness was its own fault, Fujiwara proceeded to lie on his back.

"Such is life in the Zone." He grumbled, shortly falling asleep.

He forgot that was in the middle of extremely dangerous territory in the country of Ukraine.


	71. For The Empress!

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

_Author's Note:_

_A Warhammer 40k crossover; yay. And guess who's the Empress here. And also, get mind-boggled about everything._

* * *

With holy Bolters and righteous Chainswords did the remaining Space Marines charge into the growing horde of the green Xeno threat. Unyielding in both body and soul, the Black Templar known to everyone only as Kyon thrusted his Chainsword into the gaping maw of an enemy of the great and ever vast Imperium. Dirty Xeno blood splattered all over the war-hardened warrior as he finished off his opponent by pulling out his roaring Chainsword and swung it around himself - whilst he yelled a fierce battle cry that shook the earth and made the Orks eager.

Reciting litanies only his Chapter brothers knew of as he attacked with merciless abandon, with renewed vigor Kyon cut into the advancing Orks who were intent to destroy what he as a Space Marine was trained to protect. Not too far away defeating other Xeno scum, was Chaplain Koizumi of the Ultramarines' Lions of Macragge, accompanied by his closest confidant and friend Veteran Brother Sergeant Arakawa. The former was blasting Orks away using the unholy energies of the Warp whilst the latter made clean his kills with his long Power Sword.

The two Ultramarines were not the only ones assisting the Black Templar in the defence of the Imperial Hive, however. Brothers Kunikida and Taniguchi of the Imperial Fists Chapter fought side-by-side as they mowed down the Orks advancing towards their position with their Bolters - their aim true; guided by the Empress, as they believed faithfully so. Their yellow ceramite Power Armor glistened in the rising sun's light, for they had fought from dusk to keep the Xenos at bay like their brothers ahead had done, and continued to do so.

But there were yet two more Space Marines that were aiding the mentioned five, but unlike the others they were vastly different in terms of appearance. With Power Armor as black as the night and emblazoned with skeletal and fiery imagery respectively, two Space Marines of the mysterious Legion of the Damned stood tall amongst them as they shot off Bolter bullets to the vile Xenos, completely silent but obviously furious at the enemy. Combining their own firepower with their other brethren, the Legionnaires brought swift death until the last Ork fell.

Silence enveloped the battlefield shortly afterwards. But all Space Marines present knew the fight was not yet over.

The ground began to shake and the cries of the Orks echoed in the air.

The Imperials readied themselves.

Then, at least, the Orks' Warboss appeared in the sight, his broad crude Power Claws itching to crush something.

"WAAAGH!" He bellowed at the Space Marines, with his countless warriors mirroring his war cry, and charged.

"For the Empress!" Kyon bellowed back as he led the ragtag Space Marines into the thick of battle.


	72. I'm Home

Disclaimer:

I do not own anyone or anything associated with the Haruhi Suzumiya Series and whatever else I'm going to include here in this fanfic; they all belong to their respective creators - so no surprise there.

I'm just writing this down for my personal entertainment as well as for others.

_Author's Note:_

_Depressing, isn't it? When you think about what'll happen to Mikuru after she does her mission, I mean._

* * *

When Mikuru opened her eyes, she was no longer in Nishinomiya.

In fact, she was where she wanted to be.

Future Nishinomiya.

* * *

Both the new and old areas that the Time Traveller walked by stirred a myriad of dead and living memories in the girl as she mentally adjusted herself from her re-entry to her world. She frowned at the direction where her old school in her mission used to stand, before shrugging and moving on. It was an early morning and most of the inhabitants of the city were still asleep, aside from the odd few who were up and about ahead of Mikuru.

A woman paused in brushing her house's pathway to watch the girl move. For a moment she thought she looked familiar, then she brushed the notion off, reminding herself that she ought to dismiss such thoughts this early in the morning. Far ahead, a teenager was fixing his vehicle, and, happening to catch the color of the passing Time Traveller's long hair, momentarily remembered happier times where things weren't so strict as they were now.

Mikuru ignored the people she walked past, knowing fully well what would happen if she were to make contact with any of them without consent from her superiors. With a silent sigh, she concentrated remembering where she was supposed to be at now. Though her official mission was now done, her organization still wanted her to perform a few more tasks. Only when they were completely done would she be able to recuperate for a job well done.

A faint peal of laughter ahead caught her attention. She found herself in front of a large park where plenty of children were playing some games together. They hadn't noticed her yet, and they were content not to. Their parents watched over them as they talked to themselves or prepared their picnics as it was a rather nice day. The Time Traveller looked at a mother who let her baby girl walk up to her father, who proceeded to pick her up.

Mikuru smiled at the sight, but couldn't hold back a tear falling down from her cheek.

Inwardly, she returned to that bout of melancholy she tried hiding in her heart, which was the result of all her regrets being unaddressed. One of her regrets was that she was never going to become a mother due to her work as a Time Traveller. Another was that she couldn't be with the one she loved, nor could she be with the people she cared about, both in this time-line or another. With a heavy heart she tried not to lose her very vast self-control.

Time Traveller training immediately kicking in, she automatically steeled herself and continued onwards, past the children, past the parents, past the park, and into a secluded alleyway where she could refocus herself on the task at hand. Wiping away the tears accumulating in the corners of her eyes, she walked down the street and into the building where she was going to do her next task - double-check for any anomalies in the time continuum.

Sensing none, she relayed her findings to her bosses, who instantly gave her the 'all clear'.

She went home shortly afterwards, but felt unsure if she really wanted to.

* * *

It was weird to be back at her apartment after so long. Looking around at the mostly empty room she had for herself in a bit of nostalgia, she took her shoes off and entered slowly, placing her coat on the rack on her way in. Everything looked the same just like she remembered they were; her belongings were all clean, orderly, and did not have a sign of being touched in her absence. Even then, the feeling of lonely emptiness washed all over her.

"I'm home." She said quietly to herself as she plopped on the couch, letting the silence overtake her.

She fell asleep dreaming of days long gone.


End file.
